Another one bites the dust.

Science Guy & I had tentative plans to meet up on Saturday night... So, yanno... I shaved my legs, got my place tidied up... etc. etc.

I give him a call. He says "My friends and I are going out for drinks, you're welcome to join us, and after that we're going to [local nightclub]."

I reply, "Thanks, but [local nightclub] isn't really my scene."

He says, "The guys and I are really excited about it because they're filming Girls Gone Wild there this weekend! If you pay $15 you get to be the guy who pours water on the girls for the wet t-shirt contest! Whoo- hoo! We're all psyched."

Dead silence on my end.

Then. "Are you serious? That's totally degrading."

He laughs, "Yeah, it's really sleezy, but it's fun."

Me- "What on earth would your mother think? And if I meet her in a few weeks, should I mention it?"

Him- "What's your problem? It's all in good fun. Why don't you get off your high horse? When did you get to be such a killjoy?"

Me- "Have we met? how is this different from any other views I've ever expressed? Go. Have fun." Click.

Aaaaannnnndddd.... That was the end of our conversation.


Ugh.

Amazon Rank

Just doing my part to help google bomb.

Amazon Rank


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If you want to find out more about why we're doing this, just go to Jezebel to find out about Amazon's excessive shittiness at removing the rankings from queer and feminist books (thereby lowering their sales.) This is nothing short of censorship.

Good choices...

There were numerous parties this weekend. As I said in one of my previous posts, I learned Muckraker was back in town, though the schmuck didn't bother to let me know himself.

And so on Friday, as I was getting ready for one of the parties I realized that I was feeling... anticipation. And I was getting dressed up as if I was going out on a date. Because I was thinking about Muckraker, and how he would see me. And I was thinking about witty things I might say to him when I see him.

And I knew how crazy and how unhealthy this was. So, what did I do?

I took a washcloth and wiped off my make-up. I took the pins out of my hair. I took off my stockings, and I put on my bathrobe. And I stayed home and watched Supernanny.

Lame-o evening? Yes, assuredly. On the other hand I knew for certain that if I went to the party and saw him it would end one of two ways...

1) He'd be flirty and charming, and then I would spend the next two weeks annoying Npapaya and Supergirl by dissecting our conversation and wondering why the schmuck hasn't been in touch.

or

2) He'd be cool and distant and I would spend the next two weeks in the depths of despair and annoying Npapaya and Supergirl with my feelings of inadequacy.

To save their sanity, and my own, I think NOT going to the party was the best choice. Even if it did make me super lame on a Friday night.

******************

I found myself missing Science Guy this weekend. He's away on a trip, and at a (rather dull) party on Saturday night I found myself thinking of him, and I ended up texting him. I've been thinking about him more and more, and I think I may make a move on him the next time we're together.

Crossing boundries

I was talking to Npapaya today about my annoyance with Science Guy, and I mentioned I hadn't emailed him back since he emailed me about 4 days ago. She said, "I told you to let him cool his heels, not kick him down a black hole!" (ha!)

So, I saw he was online this evening so I im'd him. It was a good conversation... but, as I said before-- we seem to fall into this ambiguously 'coupley' nether-realm... where he compliments me (always appreciated), and we have conversations about stuff and kindly bicker as though we've been a couple for years. It's comfortable and annoying all at the same time. An example- This evening we were talking about cars. I need a new car, and so he started doing research for me online, found me a car I liked, made plans to go test driving together... etc. All nice things, right? And yet, there seem to be all these weird unspoken assumptions there. (Npapaya thinks I just need to make a move on him and he'll give up this whole "just friends" thing. I don't know....)

And then, another weird boundry was crossed-- I was supposed to go meet that guy for coffee tomorrow (see below for my excessive shallowness,) but wasn't really feeling it. Science Guy and I talked about it (in addition to his date this week that was a dud,) and he-- like Npapaya, thought I just needed to cancel it. I thought it was too mean to do that, but Science Guy actually crafted me a (rather nice!) email to reject the other guy, and so I sent that off.

And yes, if I think about that too long it gives me a headache because of the excessive weirdness.

Addendum to previous post-

Yes. I am sometimes shallow. Not always shallow. Not totally shallow. Not completely shallow.

But, shallow nonetheless.

In fairness (to myself!) both Npapaya and Ro pointed out that I have a much larger range of what I find "attractive" than most people. I'm usually willing to give just about anyone a try... but sometimes, there are some things you can't get past. (Say... oh... missing teeth, for example.)

So, yes. Feel free to judge me for my shallowness!

What did I just say?

What did I just say about small towns?!

So, I just ran into tomorrow's coffee date while in line at the local lunch spot. I don't think he recognized me... (Perhaps because I turned away quickly!)

Shallow and terrible of me, I know, but upon seeing him in person I knew immediately that this would not work out. No way. no how.

The picture he sent me wasn't great by any means, but I was hoping he was just not very photogenic. (Science guy was not very photogenic, but much better looking in person.)

Well, it turns out that 'bad' picture I had of him was in fact a very good, very flattering picture.

eek.

Now what? Npapaya thinks I should just cancel tomorrow's coffee date-- No explanation needed, just "Something came up. Sorry."

I'm kinda thinking that's terrible Karma. On the other hand, If I already know this is not going to work, it's probably better to cancel now-- right???

Thoughts?

Small Town

I've mentioned before that I live in a small town. So small that it's not surprising to be constantly running into people I know. This morning though, things got a little excessive as I stepped off the bus and proceeded to run into one, two, three, and then four people that I knew-- all in quick succession. We stopped, we talked, (A good friend told me I had lipstick on my teeth. (It was a rough morning.))... and then all of a sudden....out of the corner of my eye...

I see Muckraker.

Muckraker, who should be in California, Muckraker.

He's walking maybe 20 feet away, and it's pretty unlikely that he didn't see me as he was walking in my direction, parallel to me. Yet, unlike the other four people I ran into he didn't cross the lawn to say hi, or even wave, or otherwise acknowledge my presence.

I was talking to Supergirl (traitorous Supergirl who tipped off the local media about something Muckraker has done, and now there's going to be an article about him written, only to torture me further) at the time and she asked if we should go over and say hi.

You'd be proud of my restraint. NO. If he couldn't even mention the fact that he's back in town, then I'm certainly not going to go chasing after him. Whatever. Schmuck! (In addition, he 'owes' me a bit of communication about something we went back and forth about, but I'm not going to remind him of it.... But I haven't forgotten! And he was the one who initiated that particular exchange....)

I know, this is all more than a little silly given that there's never been anything more than brief flirtation, but he's so fucking annoying, and he just gets under my skin.

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In other news, Npapaya feels I should let Science Guy cool his heels for awhile, so I haven't responded to his last email. (There wasn't any real need to.) Just feel annoyed by him at the moment.

In other other news-
Have I mentioned I have a coffee date coming up? This is with a (different!) guy that I pseudo-stalked from eharmony. (pseudo-stalked because I don't subscribe to eharmony, but I found him in my company database, and contacted him that way. Apparently, I've started doing quite a bit of this... hmmmm....) So. We'll see. Hopefully he's less of a schmuck than Science Guy & Muckraker, both of whom are currently Schmuckety McSchmuckertons.

a non-booty call?

Science guy called me at 1am, drunk, and asked me if I wanted to come over... and sleep over.

(Uh. No. Thanks for that awesome offer though.)

He then proceeded to talk to me for an hour about how attractive he found me, how much he likes my boobs, and how he wants me to meet his parents.

Interspersed with all of this were protestations about how he just wants to be friends, how he's not looking for anything else, because he doesn't want to complicate things.

Toward the end I started getting really annoyed with him and just said-- "I don't really care. Do whatever you want. It doesn't make any difference to me." And really? It doesn't. But I told him I was sick of his wishy-washiness.

We'll see if any of this sinks in once he's sober.

Ugh.