Has it been a week already?

I guess it's time for another Random Thought Tuesday since I can't get my act together enough to actually write anything of any substance.

1) My grandpa is dying. This sucks. Went to the doctor for a cough, found out he has cancer in his lungs, liver, brain, everywhere. Nothing to be done. 2-3 months.

2) My grandma is stronger than she looks, but I'm still worried. My grandpa took care of everything-- she doesn't even know how to pump her own gas or pay the bills.

3) I have WAY too much bureaucratic paperwork to fill out. I have been procrastinating for 5 years to register with my local consulate, but I can't avoid it anymore as my passport is almost expired.

4) In perusing the consulate website it appears that I need to fill out paperwork so that my marriage is legally valid in France and that needs to be done 60 days before the wedding.... which is 7 days from today. Sweet!

5) I got my performance evaluation back for the year and it was all good, very complimentary... but is it wrong to be miffed that on a scale of 1-5 I was ranked a 4?  It's probably petty I know, but it makes a difference in whether or not I get that .5% raise!

6) I am freaking out about children I don't plan to have for another 3+ years or so.  Like, how do I get back to France to have my kids so that they can then go to a french immersion school in the US that the French gov will pay for? And where should I be looking for jobs (presumably 6+ years from now) so that they can go to kindergarten near where I work?

7) I think not having kids would give me more free time and money. This is a delightful proposition.

8) sadly, I think I would regret not having kids, so I continue to obsess over where we will live and how I will pay for them.

9) I am avoiding wedding stuff because I don't want to plan anymore.

10) next tuesday I'm doing a trial run for my wedding hair (had to plan that or I would be screwed...).  I think that as long as I'm going to get my hair done, I'm going to go and get my passport pictures taken the same day. Ha! I will have awesome passport picture hair! (However this means that I will probably be forever stopped at the border when the guards compare the picture to my actual-bedraggled-while-traveling-self.)

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I think there actually is a Random Tuesday blogpost thingy that is an actual thing, but I'm too lazy to look it up, so we'll just go with my generic version.

So, here are a bunch of random things that are on my mind:


* I want a chapel shack update!

* I had a pretty good time on Saturday at a random party hanging with someone I'm pretty sure hates me for a reason I've never really been able to discern.

*I'm really hoping a friend gets a new job so that she can revert back to being the upbeat person I knew 2 years ago. (oh, and I want her to be happy & find fulfillment in what she does too, OBVIOUSLY... But, selfishly, it is hard to keep trying to cheer someone up for 2 years.)

*We were playing a board game and Jedi, who is a History Education major, didn't know who Lenin was. I was terribly embarrassed... for him... and, I admit it, for me.  "How can you not know?" I asked him several times in the car on the way home.  Finally he turned to me, exasperated, and said, "I don't constantly dwell on your faults, do I?"

Well, that shut me up right quick. Yup. It's true. Not only does he not constantly dwell on my faults, he never points them point to begin with. I have more than my fair share of faults, I think, and he only ever makes me feel like I'm perfect just as I am.

*A friend announced she was pregnant. I admit it took me a few days to work up a "Congratulations"-- not because I'm not happy for her, I'm just exasperated by these smart capable women I used to know falling into traditional roles. That, and I'm jealous of her house.

*I alternate between thinking I should go back on Atkins and thinking that bread is delicious and why would I be so foolish as to give that up.

*My ever-growing waistline tells me I should give up bread again. And cereal. Which is sad, because toast and cereal are what most of my meals consist of.

*Jedi makes an awesome Reuben.  Yeah for hidden skills!

*I have this overwhelming desire to take lots of naked pictures of Jedi so that when he's 50 I can remember how hot he was.

*My office is a disaster and I'm procrastinating by writing this post instead of cleaning.

*I need a nap.

*Every time I play the lottery I am genuinely surprised that I don't win.

*Our space is too small and I think we can get a mortgage for a slightly larger place, but I'm not sure how long we'll be here... 3 years? 10? 20? I can't decide if we should actually look for something else or just hold our in the cramped space for a few years.

*It has been raining here for 10 days straight. Now, it could be worse-- at least we don't have tornadoes-- but this is also totally depressing.

* If I didn't have an appointment at lunch today, I would totally take a nap.