Some days I love the work that I do. Other days I think, this is NOT worth the mental energy it takes to fight off ignorant and willfully inflammatory remarks. Oh, did I mention I work in a women's center? Yes, I think the education we do is valuable, yes, I'm fighting the good fight, yes, I want to make the world a safer and more equitable place for ALL people. (Contrary to popular belief, Feminisim does not mean stepping on men to get to the top. Really.) But, well, remarks from people like that are to be expected, and it's part of our continuing outreach.
Sometimes though, the people I work with, who are supposed to be allies in this fight, are so fucking pedantic and self-righteous I think it would just be easier to give up and become a Michelle Bachmann acolyte.
What am I angry about today? Well, I was contacted by a community member who wanted resources on reaching out to a recent immigrant family that was planning on "circumcising" (aka- Female Genital Mutilation) their young daughter. The community member worried that she, as a white person, would come across as imperialistic or colonialist and imposing her view when discussing this with them. She didn't want the message about the extreme health risks to be lost just because she was the messenger. Thoughtful, yes?
In reaching out to my list of contacts I stated that I was looking for someone who was themselves an immigrant member of that ethnic group or an American of that descent... who was also knowledgeable about FGM.
Apparently that last bit was terribly difficult to comprehend as I got back a snarky email telling me how offensive it was that I was asking for someone who was an American descendant of that ethnic group to talk to the family. I was told that it was compared to asking a German American to explain Naziism. (Really? Isn't that a prime example of Godwin's law? But I digress.)
I wrote back, politely, explaining that I wasn't just looking for ANY RANDOM PERSON of XYZ descent, but one who knew about FGM.
*SIGH*
It just annoys me. I feel like it's people like that who drive away fledgling allies to progressive causes. (e.g. "Oh, you're supportive of transsexual rights? Really? Because calling them transsexual is HORRIBLY offensive, you bigot. Why don't you go back to watching FoxNews."... I wish I could say that was an exaggeration, but that is actually the condensed version of a conversation I overheard not long ago.)
It just makes me want to give up all together. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, right?
It reminds me of a fundraiser I organized for cancer research when I was in high school. It was in honor of two classmates, both of whom died of cancer, but only one of the classmates was a friend of mine. I BEGGED the friends of the other classmate to help me organize the fundraiser, but none of them wanted to put in the time. After the fundraiser I sure got a lot of hell though! I got hell because people didn't like the type of fundraiser it was, (a dance. Too joyous apparently, given that they had both died.), the music played, (the other classmate didn't like that artist, didn't I know that?), the specific charity money was given to (the other classmate didn't die of that TYPE of cancer, didn't I know that?)... etc, etc, etc. In fact, I never got more criticism-- from people who refused to help or give input-- than when I put on that fundraiser.
Flash forward to the present day. Sure, I now give money to causes, but I haven't volunteered to help run a charity event since. No wonder, right? Who would after that previous experience.
Today's little exchange just makes me want to throw in the towel on doing diversity/gender education. WTF is the point when even the people who are supposed to be on your team only criticize instead of help?
I fucking hate everyone today.
Showing posts with label wtf?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf?. Show all posts
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Pet Peeve
What's with telemarketers these days calling up and then when you answer they ask YOU to "Please Hold"?
F that. Yeah, I don't think so.
CLICK.
F that. Yeah, I don't think so.
CLICK.
Stress Dreams
Anyone good at dream interpretation? I keep having random wedding nightmares. For example, last night I dreamt that Jedi had an affair with my mother. He then also had an affair with 2 other people. I proceeded to clear out our joint bank account and changed the locks on the condo while he was out. (and then, for some reason, sent his parents a big tub of cashews.)
I also dreamt that we had a baby but I kept misplacing it in places like gas stations and shopping malls.
What does it all mean!?
I also dreamt that we had a baby but I kept misplacing it in places like gas stations and shopping malls.
What does it all mean!?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Cling-on
Um. Ew. I think I may just have become one of those people. You know the ones? The ones who can't do ANYTHING without their significant other? DAMN those people are annoying.
I've had several friends in the past who, when I would invite them out, would bring their husband/partner along. WTF? Seriously. In all of those cases it was always something along the lines of, "Hey, the new Sex & the City movie is out! You wanna go?" It wasn't EXPLICITLY anti-husband, but I think any reasonable person would have read that as "Sally and Hypatia are going to the movies"... not "Sally, and JOE, and Hypatia are going to the movies"
The worst part is that it's always the husband who is an asshat who ends up being the tag-along. I suppose that's because the good husbands know how to read cues and don't just show up to something they're not specifically invited to. But it's always the idiot who would be like, "Hey Hypatia, why can't you find a husband yet? Hey Hypatia, don't you know women belong in the kitchen? Make me a sandwich! Ha ha ha" types who tag-along with their otherwise delightful wives.
(As a side note, how do otherwise delightful women (ok or men) end up saddled with insufferable spouses? I mean, they SEEM reasonable and everything and yet they're somehow COMPLETELY blind to their spouses asshatery.)
So, let me first of all say that Jedi is not in the least an uncouth buffoon who is of the knuckledragging-mouthbreathing- type I described above. He is, however, clingy. Where I am, he wants to be. He even pouts if I don't want to go to the grocery store with him because he can't stand to be apart from me. (Gag. I know.) I've broken him of the pouting at least, but I know his impulse is still there.
This weekend when we went to a WOMEN'S expo I did have to explicitly tell him, "No, you may NOT join us. Sheesh!" Heaven help me if I ever become one of those women.
And yet. Somehow. This evening when I decided I wanted to go to the gym and go swimming and I realized he wouldn't be able to come with me because he has class... I suddenly decided I didn't want to go if he couldn't come with me. Ugh. Eegads, right?
I may have to jump into the cold pool in the deep end just to rid myself of this feeling!
I've had several friends in the past who, when I would invite them out, would bring their husband/partner along. WTF? Seriously. In all of those cases it was always something along the lines of, "Hey, the new Sex & the City movie is out! You wanna go?" It wasn't EXPLICITLY anti-husband, but I think any reasonable person would have read that as "Sally and Hypatia are going to the movies"... not "Sally, and JOE, and Hypatia are going to the movies"
The worst part is that it's always the husband who is an asshat who ends up being the tag-along. I suppose that's because the good husbands know how to read cues and don't just show up to something they're not specifically invited to. But it's always the idiot who would be like, "Hey Hypatia, why can't you find a husband yet? Hey Hypatia, don't you know women belong in the kitchen? Make me a sandwich! Ha ha ha" types who tag-along with their otherwise delightful wives.
(As a side note, how do otherwise delightful women (ok or men) end up saddled with insufferable spouses? I mean, they SEEM reasonable and everything and yet they're somehow COMPLETELY blind to their spouses asshatery.)
So, let me first of all say that Jedi is not in the least an uncouth buffoon who is of the knuckledragging-mouthbreathing- type I described above. He is, however, clingy. Where I am, he wants to be. He even pouts if I don't want to go to the grocery store with him because he can't stand to be apart from me. (Gag. I know.) I've broken him of the pouting at least, but I know his impulse is still there.
This weekend when we went to a WOMEN'S expo I did have to explicitly tell him, "No, you may NOT join us. Sheesh!" Heaven help me if I ever become one of those women.
And yet. Somehow. This evening when I decided I wanted to go to the gym and go swimming and I realized he wouldn't be able to come with me because he has class... I suddenly decided I didn't want to go if he couldn't come with me. Ugh. Eegads, right?
I may have to jump into the cold pool in the deep end just to rid myself of this feeling!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Shadier and Shadier!
This is some seriously effed up shit.
So this morning I get not one but THREE phone calls from the "Little Bad Dress Shop." The woman on the other end tells me that they've gone ahead and repaired the rip in the sample dress and "You can't even tell the difference, it's good as new and just perfect." She then proceeds to hard sell me and tries to get me to commit to coming back in and trying it on, asking if I want to put a deposit on it over the phone (um. No thanks.) etc. To get off the phone I tell her I need to talk to my mom.
They offered me the same 10% off as yesterday (though now apparently not charging me for the rip) which brings the dress down from their price of $1238 to $1114... Frankly, not a huge savings for a dress that has been RIPPED and has had a million people trying it on. If it were 50% off that would be a different story... but 10% ? Pheew on that, I spit!
Their entire manner just left me feeling very dirty so I called up another shop that is about 2 hours away-- "Better Bridal Boutique" let's call it. Even over the phone I could tell that the woman at the shop was gobs nicer. She was the owner (Bitchy lady at LBDS was the owner of her shop too.) and she was very helpful.
I told her I was looking for a particular dress. They didn't carry it but they said that they could order it. She then proceeds to give me the info on the dress... "The dress is from the 2008 Spring Collection ... and the MSRP is $1,073."
My friend Janet is like, "Oh no they didn't! You need to report LBDS to the Better Business Bureau!"
I don't know if I'll do that, but I certainly want to give them a piece of my mind! I know they'll probably call back up but I'm so mad I don't know if I can possibly stay calm and rational when I'm talking to them!
Grrr! What would you do? (Besides order the dress from the Better Bridal Boutique, I mean!) I kind of want to pull a Julia Roberts and go in there and say, "You work on commission, right? Big, big mistake. Huge. I have to go shopping now. Bye, girls!"
So this morning I get not one but THREE phone calls from the "Little Bad Dress Shop." The woman on the other end tells me that they've gone ahead and repaired the rip in the sample dress and "You can't even tell the difference, it's good as new and just perfect." She then proceeds to hard sell me and tries to get me to commit to coming back in and trying it on, asking if I want to put a deposit on it over the phone (um. No thanks.) etc. To get off the phone I tell her I need to talk to my mom.
They offered me the same 10% off as yesterday (though now apparently not charging me for the rip) which brings the dress down from their price of $1238 to $1114... Frankly, not a huge savings for a dress that has been RIPPED and has had a million people trying it on. If it were 50% off that would be a different story... but 10% ? Pheew on that, I spit!
Their entire manner just left me feeling very dirty so I called up another shop that is about 2 hours away-- "Better Bridal Boutique" let's call it. Even over the phone I could tell that the woman at the shop was gobs nicer. She was the owner (Bitchy lady at LBDS was the owner of her shop too.) and she was very helpful.
I told her I was looking for a particular dress. They didn't carry it but they said that they could order it. She then proceeds to give me the info on the dress... "The dress is from the 2008 Spring Collection ... and the MSRP is $1,073."
$1,073, BITCHES!
The "discounted," used, ripped, 2 year old dress was STILL $41 more expensive than buying it BRAND NEW.
The "discounted," used, ripped, 2 year old dress was STILL $41 more expensive than buying it BRAND NEW.
My friend Janet is like, "Oh no they didn't! You need to report LBDS to the Better Business Bureau!"
I don't know if I'll do that, but I certainly want to give them a piece of my mind! I know they'll probably call back up but I'm so mad I don't know if I can possibly stay calm and rational when I'm talking to them!
Grrr! What would you do? (Besides order the dress from the Better Bridal Boutique, I mean!) I kind of want to pull a Julia Roberts and go in there and say, "You work on commission, right? Big, big mistake. Huge. I have to go shopping now. Bye, girls!"
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Super Shady
This is just a quick post (because I'm living with utter chaos at the moment! Starting a new job on Tuesday... Just wrapped up a conference for 400 people that I just ran this weekend... wrapping up the last tasks for my job... Interviewing for a part-time job tomorrow... Holding an open house for my new job tonight... writing presidential briefings 2 seconds ago... argh! It's a lot. In the middle of all of this I'm trying to plan my wedding. Is that insane, or what?)
First, the GOOD! These super great vases from the Dollar Tree are only... can you guess? $1! Sweet! At Wal-Mart (yes, I do my wedding shopping there, cause I'm FANCY that way...) they were $4.99 each. Beaucoup savings there!
Jedi's dad's friend has a big Hydrangea bush that we can denude for wedding purposes and we'll have candles as well. Not bad, right?
Second, the mildly BAD: I found out our location is going to cost me $400 to rent. SHITE! That was supposed to be FREE! Whaaa! WTF?! And then I have labor charges on top of that. I feel like I was sold a bad bill of goods, but it's probably still cheaper than most other comparable places, I guess. It's got a patio overlooking a lake, etc. As long as the weather is good, should be great. If the weather is crappy, the interior is like a hunting lodge-- so not my style. Urgh.
Thirdly, the idiotically BAD: The local store I wanted to order my dress from can't get it because the designer has a non-compete and the other store (where I tried it on, but the owner was a horrible bitch) is 30 min away. Ugh. So, I call the store 30 min away and talk to them about putting down a deposit...
The owner tells me that the deposit ($200) is non-refundable. Fine, whatever. THEN she tells me that the deposit doesn't guarantee that my dress will be available to order at the time I want to order it-- (February... since I am hoping to get down a few pounds. Ahem.) It has to be ordered in Feb. because it can take 16-20 weeks for the dress to come in. Okay... but again, if I wait until February, there's no guarantee that I can get that dress... and I also won't be able to get my money back from my deposit. (How does that make ANY sense.)
(All this time, I'll point out, the owner is talking to me as if I'm a particularly slow 5-year old. DOES NOT make me want to order from her shop!)
She then says that she could sell me the floor sample that I tried on at a 10% discount. I point out that the floor sample is ripped and she says that she can have that fixed, but that she'll have to charge me-- an amount basically equal to 5% of the dress.
What the fuck???
I ask if that's the best she can do on the price if I were to take the floor sample and she says yes.
So, now I'm harboring a sneaking suspicion that this particular dress is not selling particularly well if she's willing to let go of the floor sample. Since she has proven herself to be rather bitchtastic, I wouldn't put it past her to be totally shady as well. I'm wondering if she wouldn't take my money for the full price of a NEW dress and then have the sample dress repaired and then try to pass it off as the dress that was ordered. SUSPICIOUS!
I totally don't want to order from her, but ordering from various websites seems super sketchy too! Argh! Don't know what to do. The only other shop that carries this designer is 2 hours away. SO ANNOYING! If I do go with this shop, how do I make sure I'm not getting screwed/getting the sample dress???
I would also point out that I wouldn't mind getting the sample dress.... if it was marked down 50% or so. But for 10% off? And then I have to pay for repairs? And alterations on top of that? Forget it!
(Oh! I almost forgot to mention the SUPER SUPER GOOD! Jedi has a job interview on the 19th!!! Keep your fingers crossed! This would be so good for him!!!)
First, the GOOD! These super great vases from the Dollar Tree are only... can you guess? $1! Sweet! At Wal-Mart (yes, I do my wedding shopping there, cause I'm FANCY that way...) they were $4.99 each. Beaucoup savings there!
Jedi's dad's friend has a big Hydrangea bush that we can denude for wedding purposes and we'll have candles as well. Not bad, right?
Second, the mildly BAD: I found out our location is going to cost me $400 to rent. SHITE! That was supposed to be FREE! Whaaa! WTF?! And then I have labor charges on top of that. I feel like I was sold a bad bill of goods, but it's probably still cheaper than most other comparable places, I guess. It's got a patio overlooking a lake, etc. As long as the weather is good, should be great. If the weather is crappy, the interior is like a hunting lodge-- so not my style. Urgh.
Thirdly, the idiotically BAD: The local store I wanted to order my dress from can't get it because the designer has a non-compete and the other store (where I tried it on, but the owner was a horrible bitch) is 30 min away. Ugh. So, I call the store 30 min away and talk to them about putting down a deposit...
The owner tells me that the deposit ($200) is non-refundable. Fine, whatever. THEN she tells me that the deposit doesn't guarantee that my dress will be available to order at the time I want to order it-- (February... since I am hoping to get down a few pounds. Ahem.) It has to be ordered in Feb. because it can take 16-20 weeks for the dress to come in. Okay... but again, if I wait until February, there's no guarantee that I can get that dress... and I also won't be able to get my money back from my deposit. (How does that make ANY sense.)
(All this time, I'll point out, the owner is talking to me as if I'm a particularly slow 5-year old. DOES NOT make me want to order from her shop!)
She then says that she could sell me the floor sample that I tried on at a 10% discount. I point out that the floor sample is ripped and she says that she can have that fixed, but that she'll have to charge me-- an amount basically equal to 5% of the dress.
What the fuck???
I ask if that's the best she can do on the price if I were to take the floor sample and she says yes.
So, now I'm harboring a sneaking suspicion that this particular dress is not selling particularly well if she's willing to let go of the floor sample. Since she has proven herself to be rather bitchtastic, I wouldn't put it past her to be totally shady as well. I'm wondering if she wouldn't take my money for the full price of a NEW dress and then have the sample dress repaired and then try to pass it off as the dress that was ordered. SUSPICIOUS!
I totally don't want to order from her, but ordering from various websites seems super sketchy too! Argh! Don't know what to do. The only other shop that carries this designer is 2 hours away. SO ANNOYING! If I do go with this shop, how do I make sure I'm not getting screwed/getting the sample dress???
I would also point out that I wouldn't mind getting the sample dress.... if it was marked down 50% or so. But for 10% off? And then I have to pay for repairs? And alterations on top of that? Forget it!
(Oh! I almost forgot to mention the SUPER SUPER GOOD! Jedi has a job interview on the 19th!!! Keep your fingers crossed! This would be so good for him!!!)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
THE dress.
Npapaya was kind enough to go dress shopping with me last weekend. While down in the "Big City" I had 3 appointments with three different shops.
Well, let me just say how totally depressing it would have been had I not found THE dress in the very first store we went to. Not only that, it was also the very first dress. Thank God! The saleswoman was actually nice-- she was like an angel sent from heaven,-- tragically that was also her last day. (Probably because she was too nice. The store owner was a horrible bitch to her while we were there.)
This is THE dress. I'm not posting a pic on here because Jedi doesn't want to see it... and since he sometimes checks the blog... well... Better that it be a link.
I was SO happy to find that dress. When I put it on I just KNEW that was the dress. I felt gorgeous in it, it has everything I was looking for, it's the right color, it has straps, it is "different" -- it's old-fashioned yet not fuddy-duddy... I just LOVE IT!
Ok, it's a little out of my price range... ahem... by, um, about $700... But, in the grand scheme of things that's actually not so much, I think.
I do have to tell you about the rest of the day though. Ugh! It was so depressing! At the first store I did actually find a couple other dresses that were pretty, but they weren't a "wow." At the second store they only had two fairly fugly dresses and at the last store they had 3 dresses in my size and only one looked halfway decent... and it was really nothing special.
I can't even tell you how excited I am about this dress. First of all, I never thought I would find something that really was "me"... I was pretty sure I'd have to settle for something that was simply ok. Second of all, I feel really pretty in it. Even if I didn't lose a single pound I'd still be thrilled to get married in that dress and I'd feel like the prettiest girl in the room. (Funny thing is-- I actually looked up the dress online and I feel like the dress on the model is totally fugly! I think it's because the model is stick thin and this dress requires curves! If I had just seen the dress in the ad there's no way I would have wanted to try it on.)
Speaking of women with curves, am I the only one who finds "Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss" completely offensive? I mean, why do "big girls" have their own show? Are they a separate species or something? Why aren't they integrated into the "normal" show? Are "big" girls not normal? Cause that seems to be what they're implying. Additionally, the women in the ads seem to be exhibiting the worst kind of stereotypical "big girl/diva" behaviour, saying things like, "Mmmm... my curves are so juicy... Girl, if you've got it, work it, etc." (I'm paraphrasing.) Um. Ew. Look, I'm all on board for women who are larger than average having good self-esteem and for being able to find pretty things to wear... but that kind of stuff not only seems to be all about overcompensating but it also is very off-putting. The brides are described as, "Sassy" and "Confident"... doesn't that seem to be code for... I don't know... in romantic comedies the heroine always has a "sassy" best friend-- and often times that's what "big" girls relegated to in real life as well-- as though they're not the heroines of their own lives. That's what this offshoot show sort of feels like-- You're not good enough to be on the show with the "real" heroines... everyone knows you're "different."
Anyhoo-- that's how I sort of felt about that.
But yea! I found my dress! Yippee! (Now I live in fear of them discontinuing it! I'm going to put a deposit down now, but they won't actually do my measurements until March... that's a long time!)
Well, let me just say how totally depressing it would have been had I not found THE dress in the very first store we went to. Not only that, it was also the very first dress. Thank God! The saleswoman was actually nice-- she was like an angel sent from heaven,-- tragically that was also her last day. (Probably because she was too nice. The store owner was a horrible bitch to her while we were there.)
This is THE dress. I'm not posting a pic on here because Jedi doesn't want to see it... and since he sometimes checks the blog... well... Better that it be a link.
I was SO happy to find that dress. When I put it on I just KNEW that was the dress. I felt gorgeous in it, it has everything I was looking for, it's the right color, it has straps, it is "different" -- it's old-fashioned yet not fuddy-duddy... I just LOVE IT!
Ok, it's a little out of my price range... ahem... by, um, about $700... But, in the grand scheme of things that's actually not so much, I think.
I do have to tell you about the rest of the day though. Ugh! It was so depressing! At the first store I did actually find a couple other dresses that were pretty, but they weren't a "wow." At the second store they only had two fairly fugly dresses and at the last store they had 3 dresses in my size and only one looked halfway decent... and it was really nothing special.
I can't even tell you how excited I am about this dress. First of all, I never thought I would find something that really was "me"... I was pretty sure I'd have to settle for something that was simply ok. Second of all, I feel really pretty in it. Even if I didn't lose a single pound I'd still be thrilled to get married in that dress and I'd feel like the prettiest girl in the room. (Funny thing is-- I actually looked up the dress online and I feel like the dress on the model is totally fugly! I think it's because the model is stick thin and this dress requires curves! If I had just seen the dress in the ad there's no way I would have wanted to try it on.)
Speaking of women with curves, am I the only one who finds "Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss" completely offensive? I mean, why do "big girls" have their own show? Are they a separate species or something? Why aren't they integrated into the "normal" show? Are "big" girls not normal? Cause that seems to be what they're implying. Additionally, the women in the ads seem to be exhibiting the worst kind of stereotypical "big girl/diva" behaviour, saying things like, "Mmmm... my curves are so juicy... Girl, if you've got it, work it, etc." (I'm paraphrasing.) Um. Ew. Look, I'm all on board for women who are larger than average having good self-esteem and for being able to find pretty things to wear... but that kind of stuff not only seems to be all about overcompensating but it also is very off-putting. The brides are described as, "Sassy" and "Confident"... doesn't that seem to be code for... I don't know... in romantic comedies the heroine always has a "sassy" best friend-- and often times that's what "big" girls relegated to in real life as well-- as though they're not the heroines of their own lives. That's what this offshoot show sort of feels like-- You're not good enough to be on the show with the "real" heroines... everyone knows you're "different."
Anyhoo-- that's how I sort of felt about that.
But yea! I found my dress! Yippee! (Now I live in fear of them discontinuing it! I'm going to put a deposit down now, but they won't actually do my measurements until March... that's a long time!)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
To hell with dresses
I went dress shopping again on Friday and Saturday. And you know what I've realized? EVERY SINGLE BRIDAL SHOP has the EXACT SAME 4 plus sized dresses in their collection. And they're all strapless beaded massive monstrosities. (Ok, ok, sometimes they'll have one or two other gowns, but really, it's amazing how they all have the same 4 ugly dresses.)
The other thing I hate about bridal shops? The saleswomen look at me like I'm gum under their shoes. Gee, if that's how you treat me BEFORE I buy anything, I just can't wait to see what the service is like afterward!
My mother and aunts HATE HATE HATE dress #5... and that's the only one that seems like a stand-out for me at the moment. My mom actually left me a terrible voicemail comparing the dress to a bad haircut that everyone will ooo and ahh over but only SHE will tell me the truth about how unflattering it is. This drives me crazy since I know if I get the dress on the wedding day she'll be all passive aggressive and say, "WEll, as long as YOU think you look good, that's what counts!"
Sigh. She upset me so much this weekend that I was sobbing and my dad was like, "I'm going to give you $1500 so that you can get the dress of your dreams."
Well, that's nice, and lovely... but... There's no way in hell I'm spending $2000-1500 on a dress! Do you know how many guests I could feed for that!? I could even pay for a honeymoon! (Or, more importantly, save up for a house!) I was very touched, but that's craziness. I did think (for half a millisecond) about doing a whole "Say yes to the dress" day and going to Kleinfeld's, but my budget at Kleinfeld's is about the equivalent to having $500 at other wedding shops.
It's totally not worth it for just one day... but it drives me nuts that --even with difficulty-- I can go into plus sized shops and find an entire closet full of flattering dresses.... but for a wedding dress I'm limited to basically a choice of 1 of 8 dresses. Oh, sure, many places SAY that their dresses are available in sizes 0-30... but if the store only carries 4 plus-sized dresses, where does that actually leave me? The saleswomen are like, "Well, you can just hold it up in front of you to get an idea." Bwahaha! YEAH. RIGHT. I'm going to purchase a WEDDING DRESS that I can't even try on!? Who the fuck came up with this system?!? it's the crappiest system ever!
If I had money I would totally open a plus-sized wedding shop... haven't these places heard that the american woman is an average of a size 14!? Maybe they'd get a bit more business (and stop being so bitchy) if they catered to that demographic.
*sigh*
I'm sick of trying on dresses. Do I just go with #5? And tell my mother to shove it? Tha's what I'm leaning towards, but will I constantly be second guessing myself? I don't know.
The other thing I hate about bridal shops? The saleswomen look at me like I'm gum under their shoes. Gee, if that's how you treat me BEFORE I buy anything, I just can't wait to see what the service is like afterward!
My mother and aunts HATE HATE HATE dress #5... and that's the only one that seems like a stand-out for me at the moment. My mom actually left me a terrible voicemail comparing the dress to a bad haircut that everyone will ooo and ahh over but only SHE will tell me the truth about how unflattering it is. This drives me crazy since I know if I get the dress on the wedding day she'll be all passive aggressive and say, "WEll, as long as YOU think you look good, that's what counts!"
Sigh. She upset me so much this weekend that I was sobbing and my dad was like, "I'm going to give you $1500 so that you can get the dress of your dreams."
Well, that's nice, and lovely... but... There's no way in hell I'm spending $2000-1500 on a dress! Do you know how many guests I could feed for that!? I could even pay for a honeymoon! (Or, more importantly, save up for a house!) I was very touched, but that's craziness. I did think (for half a millisecond) about doing a whole "Say yes to the dress" day and going to Kleinfeld's, but my budget at Kleinfeld's is about the equivalent to having $500 at other wedding shops.
It's totally not worth it for just one day... but it drives me nuts that --even with difficulty-- I can go into plus sized shops and find an entire closet full of flattering dresses.... but for a wedding dress I'm limited to basically a choice of 1 of 8 dresses. Oh, sure, many places SAY that their dresses are available in sizes 0-30... but if the store only carries 4 plus-sized dresses, where does that actually leave me? The saleswomen are like, "Well, you can just hold it up in front of you to get an idea." Bwahaha! YEAH. RIGHT. I'm going to purchase a WEDDING DRESS that I can't even try on!? Who the fuck came up with this system?!? it's the crappiest system ever!
If I had money I would totally open a plus-sized wedding shop... haven't these places heard that the american woman is an average of a size 14!? Maybe they'd get a bit more business (and stop being so bitchy) if they catered to that demographic.
*sigh*
I'm sick of trying on dresses. Do I just go with #5? And tell my mother to shove it? Tha's what I'm leaning towards, but will I constantly be second guessing myself? I don't know.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wedding Dress Poll!
Dress #1
Dress #1 Back- (The lace up back is what they had in the store, but I'd get it like the one above if I got it, I think.)
Dress #1 Back
Dress #2- I was going for a "Mad Men" type look for a wedding dress, but I don't think this is as flattering... thoughts?
Dress #3- This was the saleswoman's idea.
Dress #4- Back
Dress #4 Front--------------------------------------------------------------
Ok interweb friends! I know I said that I was ordering my dress online because I live in podunksville... it just so happened that I went to the moderately-sized city (3 hours away!) this weekend and it just so happened that they had a David's bridal there.
As you may recall I had wanted to order a dress (for $200ish) and then have my future MIL remake it in a NICE fabric. Frankly, the David's bridal crap feels like it's made from shower curtain liners. However, I do have to give them kudos for not only carrying plus sizes, but also for carrying them in the store!
I figured since I was there anyway I may as well try the dress I wanted on and at least make sure I ordered it in the right size. While I was there I tried on a few others and I sent the pics to my mom, future MIL and aunt...
... SIGH...
While I DO want their opinions I'm now terribly confused! They were pretty adamant the the dress they liked was NOT the one I had originally picked out. I'm not terribly keen on the one they liked best... but in looking at the pictures I do think it was more flattering than the original one I had picked out.
All this to say that I think I'm going to have to go shopping for more dresses!
Oh- one other problem with the dress they all liked? It's $600. And I would still want it in a different color/fabric. Sigh. That would probably bring the price up to $900 and I can't really see that making sense, yanoo--? I mean, if I'm going to spend that I may as well spend it on something I like to begin with! Not something that I would need to completely change! So now I'm totally freaking out about dresses!
(I'm also freaking out about photographers because they're crazy expensive, but that's a post for another day.)
So what say you, interwebs? Dress #1 #2 #3 or #4? Leave your answer in the comments! I can't do this without you!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Come out, come out, wherever you are...
So, in checking my site traffic I'm finding that I've had a lot of hits recently coming from facebook.
Hmm...
This is... odd... to say the least.
I'm most curious. I can't follow the link back to anything other than the generic facebook homepage but based on the locations I don't think it's anyone I know personally.
Any facebook stalkers care to come out of hiding and elucidate me?
Hmm...
This is... odd... to say the least.
I'm most curious. I can't follow the link back to anything other than the generic facebook homepage but based on the locations I don't think it's anyone I know personally.
Any facebook stalkers care to come out of hiding and elucidate me?
Friday, June 11, 2010
Let's call the whole thing off.
Phhhhheeeeeewwwww... Hello again, dear readers.
I've only semi-dropped off the face of the earth. As I mentioned before, these 2 weeks are CrAZy! Working from 7am-11pm every day, plus family coming from out of town...
and, oh, yeah... Jedi & I set a wedding date.
August 2011.
I felt good about it for a few days... and now I'm totally freaking out.
Frankly, I'd be good with the status quo forever, but a wedding is important to Jedi. Not just a wedding, (e.g. we can' t just elope), but the whole she-bang with reception & flowers and stuff.
Ok, ok. I'm going with it. Frankly it took me about 2 days to plan it.
Reception hall- Set
Church - Set
Rehearsal dinner- Set
Hotels for out of towners- set
Caterer- Set
Band - (semi-set)
Minister- set
etc...
I finally decided to do it where I work -- which I originally wanted to avoid because that made it seem like this wedding would be a work-related event. But, eventually, I decided it was stupid not to take advantage of the resources here. I really wouldn't be able to this for less than I can do it here. I already have relationships with the various vendors because of my job... and, again, this means that I was able to plan the whole damn thing in 2 days.
Done & Done, right?
Well, sorta.
Jedi & I got into... well, not a fight precisely... last night, but I did a lot of yelling and stomping around.
My mother, rather shockingly enough, offered out of the blue to contribute $1500 to the wedding. I admit, we were going to make the pitch, but she offered it before we could do the asking. My dad (parents divorced) is matching it. Jedi & I had planned to each put in $1000. We had planned to ask his parents to match what my parents put it.
Well, last night Jedi told me that his dad told him that all they're planning on paying for is the rehearsal dinner. And this is after the fact that I had told his family that I had planned on the rehearsal dinner being hamburgers/hot dogs at a local campsite. (Call me classless, but frankly I think a fireside cook out with smores & stuff near a lake would be fun and economical.) So, let's see... even on the EXPENSIVE side, that type of rehearsal dinner would prob. be less than $300.
His dad said, "Well, it's the responsibility of the bride's family to pay for the wedding."
So, tell me dear readers, was I wrong to stomp and yell?
Ok, I was wrong to stomp and yell at Jedi as if this was somehow his fault (and I did apologize for it)... but, oooooo! I got so steamed up! I had to leave the house to get some air.
It took talking it over with my therapist today to really get to the depths of why this made me so mad.
I mean, it's a little bridezilla-ish of me to be expecting them to pay for anything I suppose, isn't it? I suppose I should say, "Thanks for paying for the rehearsal dinner" and STFU about it. But I just can't.
Mostly for 2 reasons:
#1) That whole "The bride's family pays" is such an archaic bullshit holdover from a time in which women were such worthless commodities that families literally had to pay some schmoe to take her off their hands.
#2) Jedi has a 16 year old sister. Basically what his dad is saying is, "We'll pay for your sister's wedding, but not for yours." Given how much preferential treatment his sister is given in general (Jedi is the product of his mother's first marriage. His "dad" is his mom's husband. Jedi doesn't have any contact with his biological father.) I was so pissed on his behalf.
#3) I was perfectly happy to either-- not have a wedding, or -- to elope. Jedi's family strongly objected to both options. (And, well, so did Jedi.) For them to then decide not to contribute just felt like such a shitty thing to do.
#4) I've had a good relationship with his parents, but this really felt like a slap in the face. It felt like them saying, "well, we don't REALLY support this."
(ok, so that was more than 2 reasons... whatever.)
Now, I know $1000 is a lot of money, and no one on either side really has any. However, when one considers that this is more than a YEAR away, it does seem like it's pretty crappy to be like, "It's too much trouble to put $75/month away." I mean, yeah, no one is rich, no one is destitute either.
So, what say you interwebs? Am I a heinous bitch for expecting his parents to pony up $1000? (Please bear in mind that they're getting off CHEAP! I'm getting $1500 from EACH of my parents... to be even we should technically be asking his parents to match that and give us $3000. Additionally, my mom is working a second job to help pay for my relatives to fly in for the wedding.)
Anyhoo-- this may all be a mountain out of a molehill since his mom and I had a talk this afternoon and she said that Jedi's dad is totally old-fashioned and she would talk to him and that she thinks they'll be able to give us $1000.
We shall see how this all shakes out, but frankly the whole bruhaha just made me want to call the whole thing off.
I've only semi-dropped off the face of the earth. As I mentioned before, these 2 weeks are CrAZy! Working from 7am-11pm every day, plus family coming from out of town...
and, oh, yeah... Jedi & I set a wedding date.
August 2011.
I felt good about it for a few days... and now I'm totally freaking out.
Frankly, I'd be good with the status quo forever, but a wedding is important to Jedi. Not just a wedding, (e.g. we can' t just elope), but the whole she-bang with reception & flowers and stuff.
Ok, ok. I'm going with it. Frankly it took me about 2 days to plan it.
Reception hall- Set
Church - Set
Rehearsal dinner- Set
Hotels for out of towners- set
Caterer- Set
Band - (semi-set)
Minister- set
etc...
I finally decided to do it where I work -- which I originally wanted to avoid because that made it seem like this wedding would be a work-related event. But, eventually, I decided it was stupid not to take advantage of the resources here. I really wouldn't be able to this for less than I can do it here. I already have relationships with the various vendors because of my job... and, again, this means that I was able to plan the whole damn thing in 2 days.
Done & Done, right?
Well, sorta.
Jedi & I got into... well, not a fight precisely... last night, but I did a lot of yelling and stomping around.
My mother, rather shockingly enough, offered out of the blue to contribute $1500 to the wedding. I admit, we were going to make the pitch, but she offered it before we could do the asking. My dad (parents divorced) is matching it. Jedi & I had planned to each put in $1000. We had planned to ask his parents to match what my parents put it.
Well, last night Jedi told me that his dad told him that all they're planning on paying for is the rehearsal dinner. And this is after the fact that I had told his family that I had planned on the rehearsal dinner being hamburgers/hot dogs at a local campsite. (Call me classless, but frankly I think a fireside cook out with smores & stuff near a lake would be fun and economical.) So, let's see... even on the EXPENSIVE side, that type of rehearsal dinner would prob. be less than $300.
His dad said, "Well, it's the responsibility of the bride's family to pay for the wedding."
So, tell me dear readers, was I wrong to stomp and yell?
Ok, I was wrong to stomp and yell at Jedi as if this was somehow his fault (and I did apologize for it)... but, oooooo! I got so steamed up! I had to leave the house to get some air.
It took talking it over with my therapist today to really get to the depths of why this made me so mad.
I mean, it's a little bridezilla-ish of me to be expecting them to pay for anything I suppose, isn't it? I suppose I should say, "Thanks for paying for the rehearsal dinner" and STFU about it. But I just can't.
Mostly for 2 reasons:
#1) That whole "The bride's family pays" is such an archaic bullshit holdover from a time in which women were such worthless commodities that families literally had to pay some schmoe to take her off their hands.
#2) Jedi has a 16 year old sister. Basically what his dad is saying is, "We'll pay for your sister's wedding, but not for yours." Given how much preferential treatment his sister is given in general (Jedi is the product of his mother's first marriage. His "dad" is his mom's husband. Jedi doesn't have any contact with his biological father.) I was so pissed on his behalf.
#3) I was perfectly happy to either-- not have a wedding, or -- to elope. Jedi's family strongly objected to both options. (And, well, so did Jedi.) For them to then decide not to contribute just felt like such a shitty thing to do.
#4) I've had a good relationship with his parents, but this really felt like a slap in the face. It felt like them saying, "well, we don't REALLY support this."
(ok, so that was more than 2 reasons... whatever.)
Now, I know $1000 is a lot of money, and no one on either side really has any. However, when one considers that this is more than a YEAR away, it does seem like it's pretty crappy to be like, "It's too much trouble to put $75/month away." I mean, yeah, no one is rich, no one is destitute either.
So, what say you interwebs? Am I a heinous bitch for expecting his parents to pony up $1000? (Please bear in mind that they're getting off CHEAP! I'm getting $1500 from EACH of my parents... to be even we should technically be asking his parents to match that and give us $3000. Additionally, my mom is working a second job to help pay for my relatives to fly in for the wedding.)
Anyhoo-- this may all be a mountain out of a molehill since his mom and I had a talk this afternoon and she said that Jedi's dad is totally old-fashioned and she would talk to him and that she thinks they'll be able to give us $1000.
We shall see how this all shakes out, but frankly the whole bruhaha just made me want to call the whole thing off.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Are you a Grown Up YET?
Well, interweb friends, I feel like I can only tell y'all this. (Ok, ok, I know some of my real life friends will likely read this too...) But I'm super annoyed with Jedi.
Isn't it funny? I feel like I can't tell my RL friends this because it's kinda like-- "Well, you made your decision! Now you have to live with it!"-- in terms of "picking" him. And that any complaints about Jedi will be seen as if I'm doubting my choice.
I know that's ridiculous, but I can't help the way I feel. And so, I feel like I can't be open about my frustrations with my RL friends without possibly getting some variation of, "Maybe you should rethink this whole engagement thing."
So let me just start off by saying-- I'm not rethinking this whole engagement thing... (yet. Ha. Ahem.) But I am royally annoyed with Jedi today.
As you may recall, Jedi is not super-scholastically gifted and he also has a video game addiction. He is currently enrolled in an Associate's Degree program. He had been working on both issues and last term he got A's in both of his classes.
Well, this term he struggled quite a bit. He was taking an English and a Math course and he contemplated dropping his English course. However, since it was halfway through the term, he wouldn't get money back, and his professor was willing to give him extensions on his assignments I (along with several others) convinced him not to drop it.
Frankly-- let's be Effing honest here. This is a community college English Course. I think that is the very definition of CAKEWALK!
Jedi had PLENTY of time this term to buckle down and do really well in his classes. The number of times I saw him open his English book though? TWICE. The number of times I saw him playing his effing gameboy? Seriously, well over one hundred.
I didn't want to be his mother, but I was concerned. I knew he probably wasn't doing his homework, so I kept asking-- How is that class going? Have much work? Have you gotten everything done?
"Fine. No. Yes." were pretty much the answers.
Ok. I suspected he was not really being forthright... but everyone works to a different pace. I'm a procrastinator too. For example, I wrote 90 pages of my thesis in 3 days. I had about 6 months to work on it... but no, I have waited until the very last possible moment to write 90 pages. That's just how I work.
I don't know what his process is, but I figured-- I'd be annoyed if people were constantly asking me-- "Are you SURE you're going to get it done? It's due in a week, you know... " When I knew VERY WELL that I'd pull it together at the last minute. So, while I suspected there was a lack of schoolwork going on, I didn't push it.
How has he done in his classes this term?
A "C"... and an "F." .... AN "F"!!!! Are you EFFING KIDDING?
*sigh* I know he feels bad about it. Yesterday he didn't come home until almost 10pm and he came home bearing gifts.
BUT. BUT. BUT.
Feeling bad about it doesn't change the fact that this was ENTIRELY in his control. I don't have any sympathy, and frankly I'm pretty pissed off. It's not that he struggled to understand the material, it's not that he has a learning disability (which he does), it's not that he just was overwhelmed and didn't have enough time. NO. He failed because he DIDN'T FUCKING DO THE DAMNED WORK.
This is somewhat his M.O. actually. It's not that he's unproductive (he's not) or that he's lazy (he's not), it's that there are certain things he's just not really interested in doing-- even though he KNOWS he should be-- and so he just doesn't do them. If you talk to him he'll agree with you and say, "Yes, you're right. I'm going to do XYZ now, I know it's important." But something just keeps him from following through.
Well, FOLLOW THROUGH is part of being a grown-up. And it's one of the parts that he's most lacking. The same situation can be said about his lack of follow through with applying for a passport. Yeah, sure, it's a pain. But I travel overseas a lot-- and my family is overseas. So, if you want to be with me, overseas you'll go! And he's agreed to this. He's said he's getting a passport... he's going to fill out the papers this weekend... or maybe next weekend...
Yeah. those papers have been in his care for MONTHS.
I told him last night that while I love him, I'm not waiting around for him. Metaphorically or physically. I told him, one of these days I'm going to book a vacation overseas, and you won't have gotten your shit done in time and you won't be able to go. Too bad for you.
Is that harsh? Maybe, but at this point I think he needs harsh.
When I said that he started putting on his shoes and coat to go get the papers from the car. I told him, "What do you think you're doing?" He said, "I'm going to go fill out those papers." I told him, "No, you're not. It's 10pm."
I just felt that was another level of his immaturity-- him running out there at 10pm. He's had plenty of time to get it done, and rashly running out there just because I was pointing out his lack of follow through isn't going to prove anything other than I (apparently) need to be pushing him every step of the way.
And I'm not going to. That's not my job.
He said he was going to give up video games.
{{{SNORT}}}
Yeah. Right.
I believe his intentions are good... that he means it RIGHT NOW.
A few weeks from now though? He'll think-- "Hey, I've got some leisure time. I can do this." and pull it back out again.
Part of being a grown up is also being able to do things in moderation--Recognizing your responsibilities and what will interfere with getting those accomplished.
Right now, it doesn't seem like he can do that.
I'm just REALLY frustrated.
I have faith that he can learn. That's part of the reason why I'm with him. It's also the reason why I've told him there's no wedding until he graduates... I've also told him that failing a class isn't a deal breaker, but that the underlying causes of WHY he failed the class (Not taking responsibility, lack of follow through) very well could be.
As I've said before-- Emotionally, he's very mature. Kind, loving, slow to anger, understanding, thoughtful... etc.
In the realm of responsibility though? Not so much.
And frankly? I want to be with someone who is an effing grown-up.
Isn't it funny? I feel like I can't tell my RL friends this because it's kinda like-- "Well, you made your decision! Now you have to live with it!"-- in terms of "picking" him. And that any complaints about Jedi will be seen as if I'm doubting my choice.
I know that's ridiculous, but I can't help the way I feel. And so, I feel like I can't be open about my frustrations with my RL friends without possibly getting some variation of, "Maybe you should rethink this whole engagement thing."
So let me just start off by saying-- I'm not rethinking this whole engagement thing... (yet. Ha. Ahem.) But I am royally annoyed with Jedi today.
As you may recall, Jedi is not super-scholastically gifted and he also has a video game addiction. He is currently enrolled in an Associate's Degree program. He had been working on both issues and last term he got A's in both of his classes.
Well, this term he struggled quite a bit. He was taking an English and a Math course and he contemplated dropping his English course. However, since it was halfway through the term, he wouldn't get money back, and his professor was willing to give him extensions on his assignments I (along with several others) convinced him not to drop it.
Frankly-- let's be Effing honest here. This is a community college English Course. I think that is the very definition of CAKEWALK!
Jedi had PLENTY of time this term to buckle down and do really well in his classes. The number of times I saw him open his English book though? TWICE. The number of times I saw him playing his effing gameboy? Seriously, well over one hundred.
I didn't want to be his mother, but I was concerned. I knew he probably wasn't doing his homework, so I kept asking-- How is that class going? Have much work? Have you gotten everything done?
"Fine. No. Yes." were pretty much the answers.
Ok. I suspected he was not really being forthright... but everyone works to a different pace. I'm a procrastinator too. For example, I wrote 90 pages of my thesis in 3 days. I had about 6 months to work on it... but no, I have waited until the very last possible moment to write 90 pages. That's just how I work.
I don't know what his process is, but I figured-- I'd be annoyed if people were constantly asking me-- "Are you SURE you're going to get it done? It's due in a week, you know... " When I knew VERY WELL that I'd pull it together at the last minute. So, while I suspected there was a lack of schoolwork going on, I didn't push it.
How has he done in his classes this term?
A "C"... and an "F." .... AN "F"!!!! Are you EFFING KIDDING?
*sigh* I know he feels bad about it. Yesterday he didn't come home until almost 10pm and he came home bearing gifts.
BUT. BUT. BUT.
Feeling bad about it doesn't change the fact that this was ENTIRELY in his control. I don't have any sympathy, and frankly I'm pretty pissed off. It's not that he struggled to understand the material, it's not that he has a learning disability (which he does), it's not that he just was overwhelmed and didn't have enough time. NO. He failed because he DIDN'T FUCKING DO THE DAMNED WORK.
This is somewhat his M.O. actually. It's not that he's unproductive (he's not) or that he's lazy (he's not), it's that there are certain things he's just not really interested in doing-- even though he KNOWS he should be-- and so he just doesn't do them. If you talk to him he'll agree with you and say, "Yes, you're right. I'm going to do XYZ now, I know it's important." But something just keeps him from following through.
Well, FOLLOW THROUGH is part of being a grown-up. And it's one of the parts that he's most lacking. The same situation can be said about his lack of follow through with applying for a passport. Yeah, sure, it's a pain. But I travel overseas a lot-- and my family is overseas. So, if you want to be with me, overseas you'll go! And he's agreed to this. He's said he's getting a passport... he's going to fill out the papers this weekend... or maybe next weekend...
Yeah. those papers have been in his care for MONTHS.
I told him last night that while I love him, I'm not waiting around for him. Metaphorically or physically. I told him, one of these days I'm going to book a vacation overseas, and you won't have gotten your shit done in time and you won't be able to go. Too bad for you.
Is that harsh? Maybe, but at this point I think he needs harsh.
When I said that he started putting on his shoes and coat to go get the papers from the car. I told him, "What do you think you're doing?" He said, "I'm going to go fill out those papers." I told him, "No, you're not. It's 10pm."
I just felt that was another level of his immaturity-- him running out there at 10pm. He's had plenty of time to get it done, and rashly running out there just because I was pointing out his lack of follow through isn't going to prove anything other than I (apparently) need to be pushing him every step of the way.
And I'm not going to. That's not my job.
He said he was going to give up video games.
{{{SNORT}}}
Yeah. Right.
I believe his intentions are good... that he means it RIGHT NOW.
A few weeks from now though? He'll think-- "Hey, I've got some leisure time. I can do this." and pull it back out again.
Part of being a grown up is also being able to do things in moderation--Recognizing your responsibilities and what will interfere with getting those accomplished.
Right now, it doesn't seem like he can do that.
I'm just REALLY frustrated.
I have faith that he can learn. That's part of the reason why I'm with him. It's also the reason why I've told him there's no wedding until he graduates... I've also told him that failing a class isn't a deal breaker, but that the underlying causes of WHY he failed the class (Not taking responsibility, lack of follow through) very well could be.
As I've said before-- Emotionally, he's very mature. Kind, loving, slow to anger, understanding, thoughtful... etc.
In the realm of responsibility though? Not so much.
And frankly? I want to be with someone who is an effing grown-up.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Dilemma solved!
So, in the comments of the post below, Perpetua wondered what the insulting things were that Muckraker had posted and she also suggested that I send Jedi to pick Muckraker up from the hospital.
The insulting things were along the lines of-- (After posting a news article about economic gender disparity)-- "Oh, Poor Hypatia! The world is really conspiring against you. Boo Hoo Hoo. Yes, it's all an elaborate plot to keep you down." There were a couple more comments along those lines that I just didn't even bother responding to. It's one thing to disagree with me, but to turn it into something personal (when it wasn't to begin with?) WTF is that? Not worth getting into it.
I jokingly suggested to Jedi that I would send him to pick Muckraker up from the hospital and he said, "Only if Muckraker wants a punch in the face." Ha.
Well, in any case, I solved my dilemma of the previous post by asking a mutual friend of mine and Muckraker's if she would be able to pick him up from the hospital. She said yes.
I now feel absolved of any lingering sense of responsibility. Well...Conscience SEMI clear! Why do I say that? Well, because the friend I asked to pick Muckraker up is Nell. This is what you have to know about Nell-- She's a very smart woman. She's actually an engineer working on hybrid technology. HOWEVER... She is the FLAKIEST person I know. Like, a croissant has nothing on her.
To give you an example, last week we were supposed to have lunch on Monday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Tuesday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Wednesday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Thursday. She had to cancel.
She SWORE up and down that we would do it on Friday, no excuses. We made plans for noon. Well, on Friday at 11:45 I was in a meeting and my assistant tells we (when I get out at noon) that a woman had stopped by for me. I assumed Nell would be back in a little bit and come and get me at our agreed upon time.
12:00...12:10...12:15...12:30.... No Nell. I'm hungry and fed up at this point, so I leave to go grab a bite and take a walk.
I come back and there's a note on my desk and a slice of Pizza from Nell. She wrote, "Sorry I missed you! I stopped by to have lunch at 12:45, but you weren't here. Oh well! Have a good day."
Like, seriously?
Ok, so you're probably thinking, why are you friends with someone like that? Well, like I said, you just have to accept that she is terribly scattered and know that she's not very reliable. She's a good friend when you're with her, and really fun, but you just have to know you can't really count on her for much.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
Um. Does that make me kind of evil to entrust her with picking up Muckraker???
I told Muckraker that the next time he was gearing up to ask me a favor he might want to try using a little more honey and a little less vinegar.
The insulting things were along the lines of-- (After posting a news article about economic gender disparity)-- "Oh, Poor Hypatia! The world is really conspiring against you. Boo Hoo Hoo. Yes, it's all an elaborate plot to keep you down." There were a couple more comments along those lines that I just didn't even bother responding to. It's one thing to disagree with me, but to turn it into something personal (when it wasn't to begin with?) WTF is that? Not worth getting into it.
I jokingly suggested to Jedi that I would send him to pick Muckraker up from the hospital and he said, "Only if Muckraker wants a punch in the face." Ha.
Well, in any case, I solved my dilemma of the previous post by asking a mutual friend of mine and Muckraker's if she would be able to pick him up from the hospital. She said yes.
I now feel absolved of any lingering sense of responsibility. Well...Conscience SEMI clear! Why do I say that? Well, because the friend I asked to pick Muckraker up is Nell. This is what you have to know about Nell-- She's a very smart woman. She's actually an engineer working on hybrid technology. HOWEVER... She is the FLAKIEST person I know. Like, a croissant has nothing on her.
To give you an example, last week we were supposed to have lunch on Monday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Tuesday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Wednesday. She had to cancel. We moved it to Thursday. She had to cancel.
She SWORE up and down that we would do it on Friday, no excuses. We made plans for noon. Well, on Friday at 11:45 I was in a meeting and my assistant tells we (when I get out at noon) that a woman had stopped by for me. I assumed Nell would be back in a little bit and come and get me at our agreed upon time.
12:00...12:10...12:15...12:30.... No Nell. I'm hungry and fed up at this point, so I leave to go grab a bite and take a walk.
I come back and there's a note on my desk and a slice of Pizza from Nell. She wrote, "Sorry I missed you! I stopped by to have lunch at 12:45, but you weren't here. Oh well! Have a good day."
Like, seriously?
Ok, so you're probably thinking, why are you friends with someone like that? Well, like I said, you just have to accept that she is terribly scattered and know that she's not very reliable. She's a good friend when you're with her, and really fun, but you just have to know you can't really count on her for much.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
Um. Does that make me kind of evil to entrust her with picking up Muckraker???
I told Muckraker that the next time he was gearing up to ask me a favor he might want to try using a little more honey and a little less vinegar.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Don't Call Me Carrots!
I've not posted about Muckraker recently because he's really quite irrelevant at this point-- someone I considered a friendly acquaintance at best.
If you may recall, back in January he asked me for a small favor (to pick up and mail something to him). He's now popped back up on facebook in the past couple of weeks making comments that are progressively more and more asstastic. I can't say there's anything particularly -- I don't know -- despicable about them, but the comments are rather mean-spirited nonetheless.
The thing is, I don't think he'd consider them mean-spirited... he would consider them teasing( and think that I'm being (a) humourless (feminist... is there any other kind?) about it.) His comments are basically the facebook equivalent of pigtail pulling-- annoying and generally unkind, but done in an effort to elicit a very specific response from me.
You'll be proud to know that I've completely ignored him. I have no need to engage in that bullshit (though, admittedly, this time last year I probably would have been tee-hee-heeing about it and feeling ever-so flattered. Damn! Was I ever a fool!!? THANK GOD I found Jedi.)
Are you wondering what Jedi thinks about all this? He thinks Muckraker is an ass, and he wanted to respond to the comments on my wall (Which I told him he was free to do... but as a general rule you shouldn't feed trolls as they grow in to even bigger monsters.) Jedi doesn't really care about Muckraker though since I've made it clear that for all of Muckraker's accomplishments Jedi is 100% the better man and there's no one I would rather be with.
So... why haven't I blocked Muckraker yet? Hmmm... that might be a good question... I certainly toyed with the idea this week since he's been so fucking annoying. There are basically 2 reasons. The first is that we're all part of the same group of friends. To do that would certainly cause a rift in the group which is, frankly, not worth it. The second is that for all the favors Muckraker has asked of me, I plan on calling in a few of my own someday. Muckraker is in a field I hope to get into, and frankly, I want the contents of his little black book.
Why do I bring all of this back up now? Well, because after all of the BS Muckraker pulled this week he has the NERVE to ask me for a favor! And a pretty big favor too! He wants me to pick him up at the hospital after surgery. He says he feels comfortable being 'vulnerable' around me. (Gack... just gag me. Like I said, 12 months ago that would have made me melt. How embarrassing to think about it!)
But... well... the worst part is that I'm actually considering doing it. Is that terribly foolish of me? I guess I'm just feeling compassion because of my own recent surgery. I know how lost and alone I felt and I had wonderful friends taking care of me, and I'm so grateful for that. I feel like I need to 'pay it forward' and put a good deed out there in the universe, yanno? I mean, for all of his bluster and bravado, Muckraker is really alone and probably pretty miserable, i think. (Not because he's alone... I know plenty of people who are happy being alone... but because of his assy personality that doesn't let anyone close.)
I haven't spoken to Jedi about this, but I know all he'll do is roll his eyes and be like, "This guy is a jerk. Why are you doing this again?" But the truth is he won't really care... (And Jedi is such a kind sucker himself he'd probably offer to drive Muckraker himself if he was asked... I say this with authority as Jedi has a couple of friends who are part of the douche-brigade and Jedi still manages to see the good in them.)
Anyhoo... I haven't gotten back to Muckraker. I think if I do I'm going to tell him that I can't believe he's asking me to do this after his douche-tastic comments. But, like I said, I do feel like I need to put good karma out there to the universe so I'd probably end up doing it.
Thoughts, interweb friends?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Can you even SEE the line anymore?
Remember how I was just complaining about Jedi's ex, Cruddy, like... oh... 5 seconds ago?
She just stepped so far over the she wouldn't be able to SEE the line from where she is now.
So, after Jedi ignored Cruddy's texts this morning she took that as a sign to call him. Jedi answered the call (foolish, foolish man...!)...
---------------------------------------------------------------
I wasn't there, but apparently the call went something like this:
Cruddy: It's not nice to ignore your friends...
Jedi:... um...
Cruddy: I've been thinking about you alot lately. Why didn't you answer my texts? It's because of your new girlfriend, isn't it?
Jedi:.... um....
Cruddy: I saw your new pictures on facebook. You looked really hot.
Jedi: ... um...
Cruddy: I saw the way you were looking at Hypatia in your pictures. I miss you looking at me that way. I hope one day you'll look at me that way again.
Jedi:...um... I'm with Hypatia...
Cruddy: I know. Do you think it will last forever? Will you invite me to the wedding? I probably won't be invited will I?
Jedi: ... Um... we're not getting married...
Cruddy: So would you invite me? I'm your friend, aren't I? You should invite your friends. You shouldn't ignore your friends.
Jedi: ... Um... I need to go...
Cruddy: I still want to be part of your life. I'll always love you. You're one of my best friends...
Jedi: ... Um... I have to pick up Hypatia. I need to go.
Cruddy: Call me back later!
----------------------------
Seriously!? WTF, right?
I mean, I'm not worried about Jedi cheating on me. He's shown me in more ways than one he's hopelessly devoted... But he's also a total pushover who hates confrontation.
I told him I didn't want to be one of "those" types of girlfriends-- the crazy, jealous, controlling types-- and so I wasn't going to tell him what to do-- but that he needed to do something because what she is doing is beyond inappropriate.
I told him that Cruddy is obviously NOT his "friend" because a real friend wouldn't be so disrespectful of his relationship and try to undermine it. She's (DUH DUH DUH!) using the "friendship" line as a way to stay connected in his life in the hopes that he'll eventually go back to her... (And become husband #7 presumably...).
I told him that he needed to point out to her how disingenuous she's being and call her on her bullshit by saying, "If you were really my friend you would respect my relationship. I can see that you're not at a place right now, based on what you've said, to be my friend. I think it's best that you're not in contact with me again until you can respect me and Hypatia."
He offered to go ahead and block her, but that would just give her more fodder for her delusions I think-- about how I'm being controling and keeping him from her because I'm insecure. It really needs to come from him and he needs to be direct about it... but knowing how he hates confrontation I don't know if that's going to happen. But he can't just keep ignoring her calls/texts the way he has been because it obviously just feeds her obsession.
Additionally, I told him that he needs to be SUPER clear with her because as a girl (with high-school level social skills) I know I would read his lack of directness as an invitation to continue contacting him... thinking to myself, his current girlfriend is temporary! He still has feelings for me (as evidenced by the fact that he didn't tell me to shove off!) I just need to bide my time!
Ugh. Yuck.
As a side note, Cruddy's 16 year old daughter just contacted Jedi on IM to tell him how hot he is in his new pictures.
GROSS.
That family has some issues they need to work out.
She just stepped so far over the she wouldn't be able to SEE the line from where she is now.
So, after Jedi ignored Cruddy's texts this morning she took that as a sign to call him. Jedi answered the call (foolish, foolish man...!)...
---------------------------------------------------------------
I wasn't there, but apparently the call went something like this:
Cruddy: It's not nice to ignore your friends...
Jedi:... um...
Cruddy: I've been thinking about you alot lately. Why didn't you answer my texts? It's because of your new girlfriend, isn't it?
Jedi:.... um....
Cruddy: I saw your new pictures on facebook. You looked really hot.
Jedi: ... um...
Cruddy: I saw the way you were looking at Hypatia in your pictures. I miss you looking at me that way. I hope one day you'll look at me that way again.
Jedi:...um... I'm with Hypatia...
Cruddy: I know. Do you think it will last forever? Will you invite me to the wedding? I probably won't be invited will I?
Jedi: ... Um... we're not getting married...
Cruddy: So would you invite me? I'm your friend, aren't I? You should invite your friends. You shouldn't ignore your friends.
Jedi: ... Um... I need to go...
Cruddy: I still want to be part of your life. I'll always love you. You're one of my best friends...
Jedi: ... Um... I have to pick up Hypatia. I need to go.
Cruddy: Call me back later!
----------------------------
Seriously!? WTF, right?
I mean, I'm not worried about Jedi cheating on me. He's shown me in more ways than one he's hopelessly devoted... But he's also a total pushover who hates confrontation.
I told him I didn't want to be one of "those" types of girlfriends-- the crazy, jealous, controlling types-- and so I wasn't going to tell him what to do-- but that he needed to do something because what she is doing is beyond inappropriate.
I told him that Cruddy is obviously NOT his "friend" because a real friend wouldn't be so disrespectful of his relationship and try to undermine it. She's (DUH DUH DUH!) using the "friendship" line as a way to stay connected in his life in the hopes that he'll eventually go back to her... (And become husband #7 presumably...).
I told him that he needed to point out to her how disingenuous she's being and call her on her bullshit by saying, "If you were really my friend you would respect my relationship. I can see that you're not at a place right now, based on what you've said, to be my friend. I think it's best that you're not in contact with me again until you can respect me and Hypatia."
He offered to go ahead and block her, but that would just give her more fodder for her delusions I think-- about how I'm being controling and keeping him from her because I'm insecure. It really needs to come from him and he needs to be direct about it... but knowing how he hates confrontation I don't know if that's going to happen. But he can't just keep ignoring her calls/texts the way he has been because it obviously just feeds her obsession.
Additionally, I told him that he needs to be SUPER clear with her because as a girl (with high-school level social skills) I know I would read his lack of directness as an invitation to continue contacting him... thinking to myself, his current girlfriend is temporary! He still has feelings for me (as evidenced by the fact that he didn't tell me to shove off!) I just need to bide my time!
Ugh. Yuck.
As a side note, Cruddy's 16 year old daughter just contacted Jedi on IM to tell him how hot he is in his new pictures.
GROSS.
That family has some issues they need to work out.
Heaving a Big Sigh
If you'll recall, Muckraker came out of the woodwork asking for a favor the other day.
Whatever-- It wasn't a big deal, so I did it.
He then commented on one of my newly posted pictures on facebook telling me that I looked hot.
Seriously??? (sigh) If he had done that at this time last year I would have been SQQQQUUUUEEEAAALLLIIINNGG with delight. Right now? (sigh) It's not anything I'm going to make a big deal about so I'm not going to respond (and, let's face it, it's always nice to get a compliment--whatever the source.) But wow am I not in the same place I was last year. Betcha y'all are relieved! (Esp. Npapaya!)
(And for those curious, yes, Jedi knows all about it.)
As for Jedi, his douchetastic ex Cruddy (the 35 year old with 6 ex husbands) is still texting him at all hours of the night (midnight, 1 am...) And at all hours of the morning... (6am... 6:30am...) She's also been commenting non-stop on his facebook page. (Yes, Jedi could block her on facebook... but frankly I don't care enough--she's just annoying, I'm not worried about him cheating, and this lets me keep tabs on her comments...)
Jedi says he hasn't been texting her/communicating, and I believe him.
Grrr... One night I contemplated texting her back and saying, "We're in the middle of having sex. Do ya mind?"
Not that it would HELP matters, of course...
Whatever-- It wasn't a big deal, so I did it.
He then commented on one of my newly posted pictures on facebook telling me that I looked hot.
Seriously??? (sigh) If he had done that at this time last year I would have been SQQQQUUUUEEEAAALLLIIINNGG with delight. Right now? (sigh) It's not anything I'm going to make a big deal about so I'm not going to respond (and, let's face it, it's always nice to get a compliment--whatever the source.) But wow am I not in the same place I was last year. Betcha y'all are relieved! (Esp. Npapaya!)
(And for those curious, yes, Jedi knows all about it.)
As for Jedi, his douchetastic ex Cruddy (the 35 year old with 6 ex husbands) is still texting him at all hours of the night (midnight, 1 am...) And at all hours of the morning... (6am... 6:30am...) She's also been commenting non-stop on his facebook page. (Yes, Jedi could block her on facebook... but frankly I don't care enough--she's just annoying, I'm not worried about him cheating, and this lets me keep tabs on her comments...)
Jedi says he hasn't been texting her/communicating, and I believe him.
Grrr... One night I contemplated texting her back and saying, "We're in the middle of having sex. Do ya mind?"
Not that it would HELP matters, of course...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I'm about ready to kill him...
It's days like today when I think, "Damn. This is NEVER going to work out."
In some ways Jedi reminds me of my mother and sister in that they all have issues with learned helplessness.
Jedi has been complaining about his job since I've known him... yet he's never done JACK SHIT about it.
I've sent him job leads that he's never followed up on. I've sent him example cover letters that he's never used to revise his own. I've sent him example resumes that he's never used as examples.
It is SO frustrating.
This weekend I found a position that would be a great position for him. He's been doing menial work (which bothers me, yes it does, because I'm a classist snob, I admit it,) with no future. The position I found for him is a much better position in many respects-- not the least of which because it offers the possibility of advancement, whereas the job he's currently in is deadendsville.
He's currently in school, yes, but-- frankly, I have MAJOR doubts as to his ability to get a job in the field he's studying. It's not just because he doesn't seem to have much aptitude in those various subjects, but he also lacks motivation.
I, however, am not lacking in motivation-- I have enough for TWO people, dontcha know.
He would have been content to sit around and watch anime (yes, he's a total dork) all day long... but I nagged him (oh, yes, I did,) until he started working on his cover letter and resume.
However... as I mentioned, he is much like my mother and sister... in that it takes me a million years to teach them how to do something that would take me 5 minutes to do myself. And he was doing a totally shitty job on his cover letter and resume. (I'm sorry to say it, and it sounds totally harsh-- but it's the truth. TOTAL SHIT JOB.)
So, what did I do? *sigh* What I probably shouldn't have done-- I took over. Yes, I did. I rewrote his resume and wrote his cover letter from scratch. It took me an hour... if I'd left him to his own devices, it would be sometime next June before he'd be done... and let's face it, it would still be TOTAL SHIT.
Am I annoyed? Yes, yes I am. I suppose I should only be annoyed with myself, but he spent the time I was doing it moping over my shoulder, sighing loudly, and being all, "I don't know how to do this..." PISSED ME OFF.
Then, when it came time to apply online he couldn't figure out how to do that. He was whining-- (to himself, but really to me...) about how he couldn't figure it out-- but that's where I draw the line. He's a grown up, he can figure out how to apply for his own damned job!
I would feel guilty about rewriting everything if the job he's applying for required any writing skills (then it would totally be a lie because, frankly, he can't write worth SHIT,)... but if he can't figure out how to apply for the damned job... frankly, he doesn't deserve it, and I don't want to hear him complain about the one he has anymore.
Grr.
Does this sound harsh? Maybe... but I have a headache from dealing with him today and it was all I could do not to scream at him to just fucking DO IT already.
Also, I'm irrationally annoyed that when we were with my friends yesterday he was reading something aloud and came across a word he couldn't pronounce. He asked me for help saying, "I've never seen this word before."
The word was IMPECCABLE.
Seriously?
For Fuck's SAKE?
You've never seen/heard the word IMPECCABLE before?
AAAArrrrgggggghhhhhhhh......!!!!!!!
HEADMEETDESK
Maybe I'm overreacting, but right now I'm just SOOOOOO thinking we are not a match made in heaven!
In some ways Jedi reminds me of my mother and sister in that they all have issues with learned helplessness.
Jedi has been complaining about his job since I've known him... yet he's never done JACK SHIT about it.
I've sent him job leads that he's never followed up on. I've sent him example cover letters that he's never used to revise his own. I've sent him example resumes that he's never used as examples.
It is SO frustrating.
This weekend I found a position that would be a great position for him. He's been doing menial work (which bothers me, yes it does, because I'm a classist snob, I admit it,) with no future. The position I found for him is a much better position in many respects-- not the least of which because it offers the possibility of advancement, whereas the job he's currently in is deadendsville.
He's currently in school, yes, but-- frankly, I have MAJOR doubts as to his ability to get a job in the field he's studying. It's not just because he doesn't seem to have much aptitude in those various subjects, but he also lacks motivation.
I, however, am not lacking in motivation-- I have enough for TWO people, dontcha know.
He would have been content to sit around and watch anime (yes, he's a total dork) all day long... but I nagged him (oh, yes, I did,) until he started working on his cover letter and resume.
However... as I mentioned, he is much like my mother and sister... in that it takes me a million years to teach them how to do something that would take me 5 minutes to do myself. And he was doing a totally shitty job on his cover letter and resume. (I'm sorry to say it, and it sounds totally harsh-- but it's the truth. TOTAL SHIT JOB.)
So, what did I do? *sigh* What I probably shouldn't have done-- I took over. Yes, I did. I rewrote his resume and wrote his cover letter from scratch. It took me an hour... if I'd left him to his own devices, it would be sometime next June before he'd be done... and let's face it, it would still be TOTAL SHIT.
Am I annoyed? Yes, yes I am. I suppose I should only be annoyed with myself, but he spent the time I was doing it moping over my shoulder, sighing loudly, and being all, "I don't know how to do this..." PISSED ME OFF.
Then, when it came time to apply online he couldn't figure out how to do that. He was whining-- (to himself, but really to me...) about how he couldn't figure it out-- but that's where I draw the line. He's a grown up, he can figure out how to apply for his own damned job!
I would feel guilty about rewriting everything if the job he's applying for required any writing skills (then it would totally be a lie because, frankly, he can't write worth SHIT,)... but if he can't figure out how to apply for the damned job... frankly, he doesn't deserve it, and I don't want to hear him complain about the one he has anymore.
Grr.
Does this sound harsh? Maybe... but I have a headache from dealing with him today and it was all I could do not to scream at him to just fucking DO IT already.
Also, I'm irrationally annoyed that when we were with my friends yesterday he was reading something aloud and came across a word he couldn't pronounce. He asked me for help saying, "I've never seen this word before."
The word was IMPECCABLE.
Seriously?
For Fuck's SAKE?
You've never seen/heard the word IMPECCABLE before?
AAAArrrrgggggghhhhhhhh......!!!!!!!
HEADMEETDESK
Maybe I'm overreacting, but right now I'm just SOOOOOO thinking we are not a match made in heaven!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Bad Mood
Jedi is in a bad mood and has been for a few days.
Now, when I say, "Bad Mood," Don't imagine other people's bad moods... (e.g. - Mine...) Which involve a lot of yelling and stomping around and banging doors. No, Jedi is such a mellow, nice guy that even in a bad mood it's pretty mild.
However...!
I've come to realize how dependent I've come to be on him being in a GOOD mood. When he's in a good mood he's affectionate and attentive and (ok-- this is going to make me sound like a selfish bitch, but he's also DOING stuff for me... Making me dinner, giving backrubs, doing dishes.... Yeah. He's pretty damn awesome...)
When he's in a bad mood he puts on his headphones and kind of checks out. (And stops paying attention to MMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!)
It's actually kind of funny given how when I first started going out with Jedi his constant attentiveness was really irritating. All I wanted was free time and for him to stop being THERE all the time. GACK! What happened to me? I don't want to turn around and be the clingy one and be like, "Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!" but that's how I feel.
BTW- Jedi is in a super bad mood because of his job (which is a bad sucky job (with good benefits.) and I'm in a super bad mood because of MY job which is, objectively, not a terrible job, but my boss is placing unreasonable expectations on me which is making it a terrible job. But damn- the benefits are good...)
So, there you have it... perhaps the only person who is NOT in a bad mood in my house at the moment is JoJo, my dog. (Actually, she's probably in a bad mood because Jedi displaced her in my bed. She is not very fond of him...)
Tonight Jedi & I are going to a party with some school friends. I'm hoping it goes well and let's us insert a little levity in our lives.
Now, when I say, "Bad Mood," Don't imagine other people's bad moods... (e.g. - Mine...) Which involve a lot of yelling and stomping around and banging doors. No, Jedi is such a mellow, nice guy that even in a bad mood it's pretty mild.
However...!
I've come to realize how dependent I've come to be on him being in a GOOD mood. When he's in a good mood he's affectionate and attentive and (ok-- this is going to make me sound like a selfish bitch, but he's also DOING stuff for me... Making me dinner, giving backrubs, doing dishes.... Yeah. He's pretty damn awesome...)
When he's in a bad mood he puts on his headphones and kind of checks out. (And stops paying attention to MMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!)
It's actually kind of funny given how when I first started going out with Jedi his constant attentiveness was really irritating. All I wanted was free time and for him to stop being THERE all the time. GACK! What happened to me? I don't want to turn around and be the clingy one and be like, "Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!" but that's how I feel.
BTW- Jedi is in a super bad mood because of his job (which is a bad sucky job (with good benefits.) and I'm in a super bad mood because of MY job which is, objectively, not a terrible job, but my boss is placing unreasonable expectations on me which is making it a terrible job. But damn- the benefits are good...)
So, there you have it... perhaps the only person who is NOT in a bad mood in my house at the moment is JoJo, my dog. (Actually, she's probably in a bad mood because Jedi displaced her in my bed. She is not very fond of him...)
Tonight Jedi & I are going to a party with some school friends. I'm hoping it goes well and let's us insert a little levity in our lives.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Not quite the gift of the Magi...
Jedi had a gift for me under the tree that he was totally hopped up about. It was in a gift bag and he kept admonishing me not to peek inside... all the while saying things like, "I've been wanting to get you this since we met!" "I can't wait to see your face!" "I really hope you love it!"
I finally said, "Do you WANT me to open it now?"
He said, "No. No... Do YOU want to open it now?" Eager puppy-dog look.
So, of course, we agreed to exchange just one gift...
(Now, I should mention that the gift that I exchanged with him at this particular time is one that I'd sneakily gone to his mother to find out that he wanted. It was a video game that is rather hard to find.
The Saturday before this particular exchange Jedi had asked his mother if she'd gotten him the game for Christmas. She apparently had a totally blank look and didn't know which game he was talking about. Jedi spend TWO DAYS driving me CRAZY talking about how he should just buy himself the game because he'd be so disappointed if he didn't get it for Christmas, and how it's impossible to find, and his mother wouldn't even know where to look, and his life would be over if he didn't get this game, etc. etc. (Ok, yes, there's a bit of hyperbole in there, but I was ready to STRANGLE him.)
Meanwhile I had already ordered and received the game. I had made him promise not to buy it for himself before Christmas and told him to have more faith in his family, but he was totally still a pouty-mcpoutypants about the whole thing. Driving me NUTS I tell you!)
But, back to that mysterious bag...
Jedi watches me intently as I open the bag... (frankly, I was a little worried there was a ring or something in there...)
And I pull out a ....
Yes. A Red, Wool Scarf.
Was this a joke, I wondered...
I shook the bag a little to be sure I wasn't missing something.
I put on my best, "Oh, grandma got me underwear for christmas and I have to thank her" face.
Or, otherwise known as "Present Face."
Well, he could read my present face and was all disappointed. "You don't like it, do you?"
"No! It's not that! It's great... it's just... Um... What made you choose this for me?"
He said, "Well, ever since we met, I noticed you're always wearing scarves, and I've wanted to get one for you..."
Light Bulb Going On
"Ooooh. Um. Babe, I wear Pashminas... you know, shawls?"
(Example!)
(What can I say-- I know they're no longer "in style" but frankly I think it's a look that never goes out of style. And they're so practical!)
Poor guy. He spent the night apologizing (ridiculously so, and I told him that...I felt so bad that I wasn't able to better disguise my dislike... but I was so surprised!)
He offered to take it back, but I told him I wanted to keep it as a memento-- and I do.
I then gave him his gift...
His response? (Besides childlike wonder and glee?)
"Damn. I'd better step it up."
No worries, dear reader, he stepped it up. He stepped it up.
Details in the next post, because this one is long enough...
I finally said, "Do you WANT me to open it now?"
He said, "No. No... Do YOU want to open it now?" Eager puppy-dog look.
So, of course, we agreed to exchange just one gift...
(Now, I should mention that the gift that I exchanged with him at this particular time is one that I'd sneakily gone to his mother to find out that he wanted. It was a video game that is rather hard to find.
The Saturday before this particular exchange Jedi had asked his mother if she'd gotten him the game for Christmas. She apparently had a totally blank look and didn't know which game he was talking about. Jedi spend TWO DAYS driving me CRAZY talking about how he should just buy himself the game because he'd be so disappointed if he didn't get it for Christmas, and how it's impossible to find, and his mother wouldn't even know where to look, and his life would be over if he didn't get this game, etc. etc. (Ok, yes, there's a bit of hyperbole in there, but I was ready to STRANGLE him.)
Meanwhile I had already ordered and received the game. I had made him promise not to buy it for himself before Christmas and told him to have more faith in his family, but he was totally still a pouty-mcpoutypants about the whole thing. Driving me NUTS I tell you!)
But, back to that mysterious bag...
Jedi watches me intently as I open the bag... (frankly, I was a little worried there was a ring or something in there...)
And I pull out a ....
Yes. A Red, Wool Scarf.
Was this a joke, I wondered...
I shook the bag a little to be sure I wasn't missing something.
I put on my best, "Oh, grandma got me underwear for christmas and I have to thank her" face.
Or, otherwise known as "Present Face."
Well, he could read my present face and was all disappointed. "You don't like it, do you?"
"No! It's not that! It's great... it's just... Um... What made you choose this for me?"
He said, "Well, ever since we met, I noticed you're always wearing scarves, and I've wanted to get one for you..."
Light Bulb Going On
"Ooooh. Um. Babe, I wear Pashminas... you know, shawls?"
(Example!)
(What can I say-- I know they're no longer "in style" but frankly I think it's a look that never goes out of style. And they're so practical!)
Poor guy. He spent the night apologizing (ridiculously so, and I told him that...I felt so bad that I wasn't able to better disguise my dislike... but I was so surprised!)
He offered to take it back, but I told him I wanted to keep it as a memento-- and I do.
I then gave him his gift...
His response? (Besides childlike wonder and glee?)
"Damn. I'd better step it up."
No worries, dear reader, he stepped it up. He stepped it up.
Details in the next post, because this one is long enough...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'm quite fond of the 17th chapel myself...
About my previous post Npapaya said, "Are you trying to dump Mr.2young in as cruel a way as possible?" ... because the person I was crushing on works in Ramses' (the person who set Mr.2young & I up) office.
*shrug* it's a small town. What are you supposed to do? If you only date people who don't know your Exs, you'll never date anyone. (Not that Mr.2young is an Ex. Or a current. Well. Maybe he's a current... I may have to start facing up to that.) For the record it was more a passing fancy than anything, and now that Npapaya has given me the background on that particular object of crush I find myself no longer quite as interested. Just as well.
Mr.2young is pretty damn fabulous. Last night he wanted to come over but I told him I was cleaning (to get ready for a trip. Hate to come home to a dirty house) and so he couldn't come over. He said he didn't care, he just wanted to see me.
So, well... I looked like crap. Sweatpants and a dirty mess. He meant it when he said he didn't care though. Better than that? Completely unbidden, he did my dishes and washed my windows. Sweet! And he gives unsolicited foot rubs and backrubs... Awesome! (Have I mentioned that he thinks I'm really hot?? And that the more dressed down I am, the hotter he thinks I am? I know. I don't get it either, but he seems to be sincere. Weird-o!)
So. Yeah. things are going well.
Except... well. Except for the fact that when I asked him who his favorite artist is he said. "Oh, I like the guy who painted the Sixteenth chapel."
DOH! Head smack.
(Actually, I couldn't stop giggling when he said that. I think I hurt his feelings.... :-( It wasn't intentional, but I just couldn't stop.)
Edit: Apparently PLENTY of people make that mistake... I just googled Sixteenth Chapel and guess what came up? Mmm hmmm... I blame the US educational system. *sigh*
*shrug* it's a small town. What are you supposed to do? If you only date people who don't know your Exs, you'll never date anyone. (Not that Mr.2young is an Ex. Or a current. Well. Maybe he's a current... I may have to start facing up to that.) For the record it was more a passing fancy than anything, and now that Npapaya has given me the background on that particular object of crush I find myself no longer quite as interested. Just as well.
Mr.2young is pretty damn fabulous. Last night he wanted to come over but I told him I was cleaning (to get ready for a trip. Hate to come home to a dirty house) and so he couldn't come over. He said he didn't care, he just wanted to see me.
So, well... I looked like crap. Sweatpants and a dirty mess. He meant it when he said he didn't care though. Better than that? Completely unbidden, he did my dishes and washed my windows. Sweet! And he gives unsolicited foot rubs and backrubs... Awesome! (Have I mentioned that he thinks I'm really hot?? And that the more dressed down I am, the hotter he thinks I am? I know. I don't get it either, but he seems to be sincere. Weird-o!)
So. Yeah. things are going well.
Except... well. Except for the fact that when I asked him who his favorite artist is he said. "Oh, I like the guy who painted the Sixteenth chapel."
DOH! Head smack.
(Actually, I couldn't stop giggling when he said that. I think I hurt his feelings.... :-( It wasn't intentional, but I just couldn't stop.)
Edit: Apparently PLENTY of people make that mistake... I just googled Sixteenth Chapel and guess what came up? Mmm hmmm... I blame the US educational system. *sigh*
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