Do I know you from somewhere?

So, yesterday I was holding a training for some temporary workers, and someone I recognized was there.

He comes to me, and is like-- "You look very familiar. Have we met before?"

I just waved my hand breezily... "Oh, you know, I'm sure you've seen me around or at some event or another!" La dee dah....

I did NOT say... "Oh, you know, you only contacted me on chemistry.com, eharmony, okcupid, and yahoo personals..." La dee dah...

Freaking small town.

(****Please note, this is NOT the same guy from below that I actually went out on a coffee date with. I never met this guy (above).)

How do I know you again?

I saw someone on okcupid who seemed cute, and we had a high match percentage. I thought about contacting him, and as I was looking at his profile I realized he seemed very familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.

Given the interconnected web of people in this town I thought it was best to hold off on communicating until I could figure out how I knew him. Boy, I'm glad I did!

I was talking to Npapaya about the poor guy I blew off (see previous entry!), and she said, "Oh, is that the guy I saw you with at the bookstore."

Yes, in fact that guy was... but that made me remember another guy I met at the bookstore (yes, it does happen to be my #1 first meeting location because it has the best coffee in town and because it provides an easy escape if things are not working out.) And I realized that the guy who seemed familiar on okcupid was someone I had met about a year ago for a coffee date at the bookstore.

I also remembered why things did not work out...

1) He showed up to the "date" looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. (It turned out he had, he confessed in the conversation.) He was wearing dirty & holey sweats, and teva sandals with socks. EWWW.

2) In spite of his terrible attire which indicated he had not had the time to change his clothes or even shower that morning he had found time to .... put on eyeliner.

3) As we spoke, it became increasingly clear to me that he was secretly gay and totally in love with his roommate. (You know that way that people have of name-dropping the name of the person they're obssessed with ever-so-casually? (Not that I have ever done this... nope. No siree...) Yeah, he was totally doing that, in addition to mentioning how He and his roommate would go away for long weekends to B&Bs, or go and take special trips to see Broadway shows together. I mean, not to go all stereotypical... but really? REALLY?)

So, what's the moral of this story? I don't know. Move to a bigger town maybe? Stop dating gay men? (That one would be a good start. It's really easy to have a fantasy relationship with my gay bffs. Recently one of my friends-- we'll call him Quebecois-- has found it very amusing to introduce me to everyone as his wife. He also proceeded to drag me into a jewelry shop and made me try on engagement rings while telling the salesperson how in love we were and all about our imaginary wedding plans. This is evidently how he enlivens his day. Awkward! I could have killed him.)

Little town, it's a quiet village...

Once again, I'm presented with an example about why it's terrible to live in Podunk, USA. (Or, perhaps I'll take to calling this place Mayberry, because that's totally what it is.)

I'm currently hiring temporary workers for my office and I got an email forwarded to me by our assistant letting me know that someone was interested in the position.

Do I recognize the name....?

Oh yes. Yes I surely do. And I'm totally mortified....

The person applying for the job is a guy I went on a coffee date with... and then I totally blew him off when he wanted to see me again. (I know, I know. Bad Karma. I'm a terrible person!)

He was actually a very sweet guy, and what was "wrong" with him wasn't actually anything that was wrong--- it just made him not-quite-right for me. He was very young, just barely out of college. (I'm 28.) He didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, and had moved back in with his parents. He was also very short and very skinny.

Again, none of these are terrible qualities, and given his stage in life I don't fault him for living with his parents... and one can't help one's stature or build, so I don't hold it against him.... it just, as I said, added up to not quite right for me.

And yet he was very nice, and so when he contacted me again to go out I talked myself into it. Because after all, my concerns were (are) totally shallow. And then when he made repeated attempts to contact me to solidify plans, I kept putting off responding because I wasn't sure if I should go ( knowing, in that way you just KNOW, that nothing was going to come of it, but who knows, miracles can happen, and oh, he was so nice...) or if I should just be honest and say "I don't think this is going to work. But thanks, and good luck."

And so I kept putting off responding because I couldn't decide. And stuff in my life came up, and again, I kept putting it off... Even though I totally intended to respond. Until eventually I honestly just forgot to respond.

Ooops.

Whenever I thought back to it I felt a twinge of remorse, but so goes the dating game, I figured. Certainly it's not anything that hasn't happened to me, and while it's not awesome, it also isn't something I dwell on.

And then now he pops up in my inbox, asking for a job. Ooops! Mea Culpa, universe! (No, he doesn't know I'm the one doing the hiring.)

(BTW, I'm totally making one of my coworkers respond to his request. Because I'm a wimp that way. Oh yeah, I totally own it.)

Out of my league... in one way at least

I just got contacted by a guy on plenty of fish. (Now, mind you, I just keep a profile up there for blog fodder purposes these days because most of those guys on there are CRAZY.)

This guy's email was short, and nice, and used proper grammar--all pluses! So I wandered over to his profile.

His profile was actually quite good in the written section (and we know how hard that can be!) Funny, introspective, not-overly high on himself, yet illustrating his good qualities. All in all, yes, I would respond to this person. (Though, he doesn't have a college education, which is something I find problematic. Classist perhaps, but there you have it.)

And then the pictures....

This guy is good looking. Like, really, really ridiculously good looking.



Yet, the problem is that he's stereotypically good looking-- out of my league good looking. Not really my type because these guys tend to be incredibly shallow and want to date supermodels- good looking.

I know, I know... I can't fault the guy for being ridiculously good looking, right? But can I fault him for the cheesy zoolander-esque pictures at least? Of him in a wifebeater... of him riding a horse bareback... of him weight lifting... of him extreme skiing... of him mountain climbing...of him on the cover of a skiing magazine... of him looking strongly off in the distance with his cleft chin jutting out as he stands atop a mountain? Seems a bit... much.

Especially as I am just about the least athletic person you could possibly meet. If fact, I'm ashamed to say that I am a complete couch potato & a junk food junkie... (And more that a little plump. No need to be crane lifted out of my house... but there you have it.)

And so, I'm really surprised a guy like that would contact me... especially since I haven't updated my POF profile in a long time-- and I realized that the picture of me on there is of me about 20+ pounds heavier than I am now... and yet he still contacted me. And his profile actually makes mention of the fact that even though he's athletic, he's not necessarily looking for the same thing. Huh.

Interesting.

So, you'll be glad to know that I didn't hold his ridiculously good looks against him, and I told him we could get together when he comes back to town.

To leave you with some idea of how out there he is... here's a video of the type of skiing he does. (Extreme heli-skiing)



I can already tell you this is going to go nowhere... but it should be an interesting meeting in any case.

Science Guy Story

(Thanks to ARF for the reminder... )

Yes, Science Guy is yet living! In spite of having no contact with him for about 4 weeks, he suddenly IMs me on facebook.

(I think this may have to do with the fact that I changed my profile pic to one with me & a rather handsome man nuzzling my neck-- (don't get too excited-- one of my totally gay BFFs) and I changed my status to thank a kind anonymous handsome stranger for some much needed help..)

So, Science Guy's IM pops up and his question is, "Who is the handsome stranger?"

I respond with, "I'm surprised to hear from you."

Him: Why is that?
Me: Because you dropped off the face of the earth... (left unwritten, but I thought it... After your super douchey behaviour!)
Him: I've been busy, family has been in town.
Me: ok
Him: So who is the handsome stranger?
Me: Oh, just someone who helped me with some car trouble.
Him: Did you get his number?
Me: No.... I was not really dressed for impressing. I'd been gardening and I was covered in mud and wearing sweats.
Him: I bet you still floored him.


As I read this, I'm just like-- WTF!? As you may recall, Science Guy is the one who wanted to be "just friends" but he keeps pulling out these random throw-away compliments. (Which, frankly, is part of the reason I keep talking to him... because he is very good for my self esteem.) But really? REALLY?

I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? (Npapaya & I were watching "He's just not that into you" yesterday (terrible movie, btw!) but the one funny part was the line with the little interlude by Frangela on how guys dump you but make it seem like you're idea... saying things like, "Girl, I am gonna be so jealous of the man who gets to be with you." And their response was.. "Wait.. Hold on. Up until 5 seconds ago, that man was YOU!" That's kind of what my response is with all these little offhand compliments from Science Guy.)

And then... to finish off the conversation, he asks me to dinner with his parents. After I haven't heard from him in 4 weeks. After he was totally douchetastic. WTF?

(No, I did not got to dinner.)

As a side note, he also emailed to say that he wanted to set Npapaya up with his coworker. But then he refused to send her a picture or any info or give me a name so that we could look him up.

Again, WTF?

A real winner!

This one was sent to Npapaya.... Poor Npapaya! Sorry, babe! :-( Sucks for you... amusing for the interwebs!



I'm very unconventional and in need of a female friend 2 share pleasure with most
importantly, but i need friends as wel. yes, i'm married, i won't lie about it,
and love my wife, but we haven't had a sexual relationship for over 10 years.
have always had an open marriage as musicians,but now that she's lost her sex
drive, and she's actually relieved not 2 have 2 battle with the conflicting
feelings and demons that still can haunt her, due at least partly 2 having been
molested as a pre-teen by step relatives many times, so i'm on my own looking 4
intimacy and have so much passion in me i need 2 share. i'm unbelieveably young
in every way for my age, and very oral (giving a woman oral makes me very high),
prefer 2 develop a relationship with a lover, but NEED and will have sex as
well, and, having been a musician, have engaged in many sexual situations
including group sex, although i should mention that i am straight, but am very
turned on by bi-sexual women. no longer able 2 get at least some of my passion
out! i need 2 get it out. i'm open 2 interesting, intelligent women i can learn
from and share ideas with.

What not to do!

What Not to Do on an Online Profile

Many thanks to arf to this one!

And yes, I do think all those things apply to mens' profiles as well!

Also... interesting story to share about Science Guy... But that will have to wait until tomorrow or Wednesday, I think... :-P No time tonight to give it the dissection it deserves!