A tale of two dates- Part #1

Two dates in one weekend? Wow...maybe this is the start of a hot streak!

Let's start with date #2. I went out with RinkRat on Sunday, just for coffee... and boy, did he live up to his name! Practically the only thing he could talk about was hockey.

It wasn't a bad coffee date. It wasn't a good coffee date. It was just kind of ...dull... But the guy seemed nervous, so I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was very, very, very quiet. I could barely make out 1/2 the words he said, and it always drives me nuts when that happens. I usually say something to make people speak up, like- "It's really loud in here! I'm having trouble hearing you!" But he was like, "I know, I didn't want to disturb people who were reading." Laudable, but I still couldn't hear!

RinkRat seems to have a good job, but he doesn't seem to do much other than play hockey and work. And, he lives in a house with an older landlady and some other people... Which I guess is not that unusual, but to me doesn't seem much different than living with your parents. (These aren't friends, he just rents a room in a house.)

He had apparently come from hockey practice and his hair was slicked back (greasy!), he was wearing a baseball cap, a t-shirt, some ill-fitting pants. Now, I would point out that I don't typically expect much from guys these days, so this is par for the course-- however, it was in sharp contrast to Mr.2young, so I feel that I ought to mention it.

After about 2 hours of sitting and drinking coffee, I began to make excuses about having to leave and do some grocery shopping... he was like, "Oh, can I come with you?" ... Not sure how to get out of it... and it was kind of curious-- so I said, "Sure," thinking that I might at least be able to hear something he said in the grocery store. But no. He stayed quiet.

(Oh, I should mention that he hardly asked me any questions about myself. I felt like I was carrying the whole conversation. This is part of the reason I was surprised that he wanted to come grocery shopping with me.)

When we left he gave me a hug and said we should do it again... I said, "Sure," still feeling ambivalent about it.

He has now friended me on facebook which I feel even more ambivalent about... because I've learned he can't spell. eeek.

I don't know-- He's such a blank slate. He's not unattractive, but I just don't find him very interesting at the moment.

I'll give him another chance... but given that *I* was the one to ask HIM out (After he'd been emailing for about 2 weeks) I don't know if he'll get up the gumption to actually ask me to do anything. And I'm not going to be the one to do so.

(Also... I'm a little freaked out by the fact that he seems to be going through my profile with a fine-toothed comb... commenting on pictures that are a couple years old... Sure, stalk me (heaven knows I do it to others...!) but don't be obvious about it!)

(Also, Also... I think part of the thing that freaks me out a little about him is the fact that he prefers those hockey masks that are the old-school horror movie type. Very scary looking.)

Quick update

I'm sooooooo tired, and about to go to bed... (Just getting off work. It's been a long week... and and even longer few weeks coming up.)

But, I did want to let you know that I'm going out with Mr.2Young on Saturday. We're going apple picking (because I need to bake a pie!).

And then, on Sunday I have a coffee date with a new guy- RinkRat (because he's a hardcore hockey player). Don't know how this one will be... hard to get to know much about him, although he's been pretty persistant in emailing me he never actually asked me out. After about 2 weeks of him being like, "How are you today... how's it going... etc." I finally just said, "wanna meet for coffee?"

I like someone who shows initiative. On this front, I've got to give Mr.2Young the advantage here.

However, I do like my men super tall... and Rinkrat is 6'4. Whoo hoo.

But! They both seem slightly immature... so... this is probably going nowhere.

I promise I'll try and have a good attitude though! Pinky swear!

In which Npapaya is right... (as always.)

I had a date with Mr.2young last night and I was surprised to find it more enjoyable than I had anticipated. (I know, I know... with such a great attitude, it's a wonder I don't date more often! Ha.)

We met up for drinks and had a good conversation for about an hour. He then asked if I'd like to continue on to dinner. We waited awhile for a table, and then eventually moved to the pizza joint down the street because it was taking too long. I covered the drinks (paid when he was in the restroom,) and he covered dinner.

He was cute, funny, down-to-earth, and really, REALLY nice. I have to give him major kudos for making an effort to dress up and look nice (and he did!). He seemed very considerate as well.

Now, for the down sides--His life is kind of a mess at the moment, but he's working to get it back on track, and he's back in school to become a history teacher (in the meantime he works in a warehouse). He also currently lives with his parents. In spite of my super-snobbish ways I don't fault him for any of these things... And this is really where his age is a benefit. If he was 28 or 29 and living with his parents I'd be running far, FAR away. But, I recall where I was at 22 and it wasn't much different from what he's doing. However... I see how far I've come, and there's a whole hell of a lot of learning between 22 and 28.

Given the age difference the fact that he said he couldn't see settling down at a 'young' age left me ambivalent. On the one hand I certainly applaud the sentiment, not being a big fan of settling down young myself. On the other hand, as I mentioned before, I can't really wait around for him to turn 30 (or older!)

I actually did have a good time. Other than the age thing (and, oh-- he's southern and really rather religious, which doesn't quite work for me...) if he were older and more established I would totally give him another shot.

Which means I should probably give him another shot now, right?

*sigh* I know, I know. It's like Npapaya has pointed out many times-- The truth is I just don't really want to be dating. (Ha... I'm like one of those republicans who SAYS she wants healthcare reform but then nixes any actual plans to reform healthcare... ha. Just as an aside.)

Oh. I should probably also mention that I did something that was in rather poor form last night. I kept mentioning that it was getting rather late, that I should probably be going, that I had to get up early tomorrow. (It's the truth. I'm just wiped out at the moment. It's a really busy season at work.) I eventually said I had to go, and I figured it was probably close to 11pm when I left. (Yes, I probably should have asked.)

Well... Imagine my surprise when I got home and checked the clock and saw that it was only 8:30pm. Ooops!

I figured he must have thought that I was giving him a total brush off!

However, he had emailed me before I had even gotten home to ask if I wanted to go to a concert next week. (I can't. I'm working!) I did apologize though and let him know that I really wasn't trying to make a getaway, and that I'd be happy to get together again.

We'll see. On the one hand I really do like him. On the other, I really don't feel like it has any place to go, so I shouldn't waste my time (or his.)

On the third hand, he seems to like me. And I like that. And he's nice. And I like that too. So... maybe I should give it a shot?

(Oh, btw... Since he was once studying to be a minister I really doubt I can anticipate any good ole fashioned fornicating. Bummer.)

When Jobhunting is like Dating

I'm not really jobhunting... Hell, I'm lucky to have a job. And there are a great many things I like about my job. However, it is not the job I was hired to do.

My place of business recently went through some restructuring. As part of that restructuring my position was eliminated. I was one of the VERY fortunate ones in that I was offered another position with the same company.

However.

The job I now do often fundamentally opposes ....mmmm....to say, "my morals" is too strong... but, my sense of "rightness," shall we say.

I'm not doing anything morally ambiguous by most people's standards, but some of the programs I have to champion I feel have misplaced priorities. And it's kinda hard to champion them when I feel that way. However, I do my best not to let my feelings show because... well, that's my job.

And so i'm not REALLY jobhunting, but every once in awhile someone shoots something my way that is appealing. I rarely apply for it (in fact, this is the first time in 2 years I've applied for something...), but in this instance there were enough pluses to go forward with it.

And there were some great things about the job-
1) The boss. The boss happens to be the husband of a friend of mine, and he's one of only 2 husbands I've ever met that I genuinely like as a person. (Note, this is not saying I dislike MEN, this is about the fact that when someone comes as an appendage to someone else it's not a given that you'll find much to appreciate about them.)

2)Much better pay.

3)Not having to deal with ambiguously 'right' situations.

.... there were a couple others, but that was the general idea of it.

But in my gut I felt something telling me this wasn't the right job for me. But I knew it wouldn't be a job I'd be able to refuse if it was offered to me (because it would be so obviously better than my current one.)

So, I was content to sort of let things play out, all the while waffling about what I would do if an offer were made.

Well, it didn't come to that. The boss for that position came to speak with me and we had a somewhat on the record/off the record conversation.

He's a really great guy and it was a good conversation. He brought up the fact that while he could see me in many positions in his office, for a variety of reasons this one didn't seem like a good fit, and he wondered what prompted me to apply.

I acknowledged that he was right, and we discussed the pros and cons some more. In the end we came to the mutual decision that I would withdraw my application.

I'm glad I did.

Like I said, in my gut I knew this wasn't the right path for me... and yet, I was content to continue down it for lack of any better options.

Sounds a lot like dating, huh?

It may sound crazy, but for most things in my life I've just KNOWN... somehow, KNOWN in my gut (not to be all George Dubya about it...) when I'm going in the right direction.

I'm just waiting for Something Wonderful.* Whether that's with a job or with a partner, I believe that in the end I'll know it's the right one-- that I'm on the right path-- because it will feel so very right. (Yes, I know I'm single in large part due to my own issues, which I've talked about at length, but I also feel that somehow I'll just KNOW when I meet the right one. Call me silly, but every single member of my family... (other than my own parents)... has said that when they met their spouse they just "knew" when they first met them. There are several people in my family who got married on their first date-- no joke.)

It's hard to keep the faith or to have patience on this journey most of the time but in a lot of aspects of my life I have felt that my life is going in a very specific direction and that whenever I try to go off-course God/the universe gently (or not-so-gently) directs me back again. I'm a very lapsed Baptist, but I do want to believe there's a plan out there for me. Yes, there's free will, but I want to believe that God is steering me towards a good end, and if I'm just attuned enough I can figure out what that path should be.

*(If you've read this book, you'll know why I linked it. If you haven't read it, you should get it. One of the best trashy romance novels ever!)

Well Done, Young Jedi!

I must say, thus far I am very impressed with Mr. Far-too-young-for-me! (And, I probably only say he's far too young for me because he's the same age as some of my students... though he is NOT my student.)

But, I have to give him massive praise for outshining men 20+ years older than he is!

When I told my co-worker to give Mr.Young my info, I didn't really expect him to be in touch. Hell, even guys many years older fail to be in touch, and it always is kind of an awkward scenario to cold-approach someone.

However, Mr. Young emailed me a nice, funny, cute, and direct email! Good job!! (He even used proper grammar! Bonus!) He endeared himself to me immediately, and he was very quick to say, "Would you like to get a drink sometime?"

Bravo!
He showed initiative! He was direct! He was courageous! (It does take courage to randomly approach someone!)

No wishy-washyness! No meandering emails that never go anywhere! No psuedo-passive-aggressive doucheyness!

Well Done. Well Done. He could teach his elders a few tricks.

We're getting together on Wednesday.

So, does this make me a "cougar"?

How young is too young for someone who is 28?

22 is too young... right?

(No, he's NOT one of my students.)

A totally random colleague wants to set me up with his AA's son. (Weird, I know.)

Ah, what the heck, right?

I do think I'll feel somewhat creepy though...

The TeaMaster

Did I mention that Descartes is a Tea Master ? (Ok, I'm not quite sure what this means... But I really LOVE tea! I do!)

Maybe The TeaMaster should be his moniker? (Oh, why am I even thinking about this, given that I know it's going to amount to nothing, and indeed-- that's part of the reason I like him. That, and the fact that since he's such an unknown he makes a good cipher to project my fantasies onto!)

But whatever... I still really like this picture above.

I bring him up because.... HE ASKED ME A QUESTION!

Whoo hoo! It's almost like we're having a conversation! (Yes, I'm being rather ridiculous!)

And to keep the conversation going, I asked him a question in return!

And he did say that he'd like to get (our dogs) together when he comes into town in the future... (which is... unknown. *sigh*) BTW, I'm going to go out on a limb and wildly state that "our dogs" is a euphemism for something else.... ha.

I'm not quite sure how to keep the conversation going... but hopefully it will.

(Nell tells me that she's betting her brother is pretty confused at this point-- Like, "Why is this girl so persistent! Doesn't she know I'm on the other side of the world!? She hasn't heard from him in awhile though.)

Nell did tell me something that I thought was rather amusing. I met her father last winter and had dinner with him and Nell. It was a fun time (the power went out, it was an adventure! The funny thing about that is that Nell had invited Muckraker to that same dinner in the hopes that he and I would get stranded up at the cabin together... ha ha! I only found this out recently. But I appreciate her ingenuity!)

I ran into her dad around town a few other times, and I said hi, but that was about it. Nell said that ever since last winter her dad keeps asking about me. She said, "Dad adores you! He thinks you're a firecracker." Ha ha! And then she added, "I think he talked to Descartes about you as well."

Ha. I would give a million dollars to know if that is true (Nell can be fuzzy on details. She's a little ditzy.), and if so, what was said.

I do like being labeled a firecracker!