The Deep End

I'm not really fond of people in general (or in particular...hmmm...). I really require a lot of alone time for contemplation and to recharge my energy.

And yet... I've seen Mr.2Young EVERY SINGLE DAY (and night) for the past week. This is certainly a record for me, but what's even more remarkable is that I'm not sick of him. Yet. (I like to look at glasses half empty.... the benefit of being a pessimist is that you're always either proven right or you're pleasantly surprised.)

I still have issues (most notably with his spelling! Like when he texted me to tell me he was going to do "loan work and rack leaves"... (get it? Um. Took me a while to figure out he meant LAWN work and RAKE leaves. It's not the *spelling* really, it's the seeming lack of awareness that the two words are not one and the same. I've known some bad spellers (and I'm a spell-check addict) but your/you're, their/there/they're type of mistakes drive me BANANAS) *sigh*) His age doesn't bother me as much anymore... (which means I should probably come up with a new moniker, hmmm? Suggestions?)

He is very sweet. He brought me flowers for no reason last week (they're still blooming), and he went out of his way to figure out which flowers I like. (Hint: NOT roses. Getting a bouquet of roses requires about as much effort and foresight as brushing one's teeth, in my humble opinion. Yes, I would accept them graciously, but inside I would be thinking, "you don't know me at all, do you?)

Part of the reason I keep letting him stay over (ok, ok, INVITING him to stay over...) is because I feel it's going to end... someday. Everything ends, right? And with my track record, sooner rather than later. And so, I figure, soon enough I'll be back to having my big bed to myself-- so I may as well make some nice memories to keep me company throughout the long, long, long New England winter. There will be more than enough time to be alone in the future, so I may as well make the most of being with him now.

Npapaya thinks I'm a crazy person (true, true,) for thinking this way. She pointed out to be last night, "Nothing you've said points to this ending... Not saying it won't, but right now there's nothing to indicate a red flag or troubled waters ahead... so why are you actively seeking to end it?" (That was the gist of what she said anyway...)

Mr.2Young and I were talking last night and he asked me a question that I didn't know the answer to. He said, "What scares you the most? That this will end? or that it won't?" Something to discuss with my therapist, to be sure.

I went away for the weekend (yes, I went away, but still only ended up spending one night away from him...) and I was like a 16 year old-- texting him constantly. (I am super LAME-O, I admit it!) So, yes, I'm getting attached to him, which is scary for me.

He cracked me up last night though. I asked him (randomly, out of nowhere,) "So, would you kill a mastodon for me if I asked you to?" His response? "You seem like the kind of girl who could kill her own mastodon."

That still cracks me up. In that moment I felt like he really, really, GOT me.

But I'm still a little worried about wading into the deep end of the relationship pool....


(I should add that I have given him permission to refer to me as his "girlfriend," mostly because everyone is already doing so. *sigh*)