Good Thoughts!

Jedi was contacted yesterday and told he's a finalist for a position-- in fact he's the top candidate!

Yippee!!!!  The only problem? They've asked to speak with his current supervisor (not just references) and his supervisor is an ass.  In fact, his supervisor is one of the reasons he wants to leave-- well, that and a pretty hostile workplace.

(e.g.  Jedi is a pretty sensitive guy, which is something I love about him.  The guys he works with are super-macho misogynist types and they're constantly harassing him.  For example, yesterday Jedi was whistling as he left the warehouse and one of the assholes he works with said, "Hey Jedi- you know who whistles?  Birds and faggots. And I don't see any feathers on you."  They're constantly throwing gay slurs at him-- in no small part I think due to the fact that he actively defends LGBT people when they do so, which just feeds the fire.)

I can't wait for him to get out of there. Hopefully he'll hear back today and hopefully it will be good news! Fingers crossed!

Ready to Begin Again

I've revived a long dormant blog of mine.  I'm not quitting this one... (Though I am thinking of renaming it-- but to what?)  The blogs each have a different focus.  I debated about starting another new, completely anonymous (since this one is semi-anonymous) but I figured I need the semi-accountability.  I may cross-link at times but the other blog is really a way for me to keep a journal since I've proven not-so-good at that and I've proven mostly-ok at keeping up with a blog.

Hope you'll consider following along on the new blog as well since feedback is so helpful to success.

Doubt

I'm so full of doubt now! I went to a bridal shop 2 horus away yesterday (To see if I could have a better experience than at the little bad bridal shop mentioned below). I had the dress I wanted in my mind but I wanted to try on a few more to see how the shop treated me.

Well, this shop was far and away better than the other shops I've been too and they also had a much better selection--esp of plus size dresses.

I found two dresses that I LOVED. One is very similar to the one up top (I can't actually find the picture of the one I liked, but it was gorgeous... more beading, more pick-ups, more rosettes...the only thing I didn't like was the way it sat on one hip.) I KNEW Jedi wouldn't like it though because it was asymmetrical. His mom was with me and was like-- "Yeah. You can't get that. Jedi would have fits when he was a kid if he wore a shirt that had a pocket on one side and not the other. He's very particular." I mean, Jedi hasn't said much about potential dresses, but he has made that much clear, so I feel like I should respect that-- even though the dress was over-the-top stunning and a STATEMENT.

I found another dress (I also can't find a picture of it... and the shop wouldn't let us take pictures) that was floaty and frothy and lace and light beading in a pinkish-ivory color. It was strapless and I loved the double layer of lace at the bottom that made it look like I was floating on air as I walked. The only thing I didn't love about it was the top. It was strapless and a bit plain-- I just felt like in pictures it wouldn't render well. On the other hand, it was probably much more appropriate for an outdoor summer wedding. It was stunning, but in a quieter way.

In the end (the store was closing, I felt a bit of pressure to MAKE A DECISION since it was two hours away) I picked the original dress from the first bridal shop. Now I keep second guessing myself. EEEK! I wish I could get all three! I put down money though... I think I probably have a couple more hours where I could switch my selection... but I wouldn't even know which direction to go.

I guess I felt that the first dress had more of everything that I liked. The two dresses I tried on at the new store, on both of them what I liked best was the skirt. In pictures the skirts won't be what is most prominent. In the first dress I loved the bodice and I loved the back... the skirt was fine (it has this opening in the front where tulle is showing and it wasn't my favorite part)... I wish I could take the skirt with the rosettes and attach it to the bodice of the first dress... but I'm not a Rockefeller so I can't just go mixing and matching dresses like that.

I guess it's pretty normal to have doubts-- it's a LOT of money!

How I know he's "The One"

Today we opened a joint checking account. (Yanno... for all those wedding $$$ contributions.)

The banker typed up the mock checks and put Jedi's name above mine. Jedi stopped him. "Her name should go first," he insisted.

*sigh* Be still my beating heart!

(Don't worry, lest you think I've lost my feminist mind to be opening a joint account-- I still have 3 other personal accounts!)

Voyeuristic pet peeve

I read a fair number of other blogs, mostly anonymously, and nothing bugs me more than when a blog suddenly goes dark or when frequent posting turns to once-a-month posting.

What can I say? I get my kicks from reading about other people-- it's a real life soap opera. I've also learned a lot from blogs-- especially all the child rearing and parenting and birthing and breast-feeding blogs out there. No, I'm not at that stage yet, but I anticipate I will be someday, and hearing about other peoples' experiences is not only interesting in a voyeuristic sense but also informative.

Some of my tendencies to 'spy' (well, if people put it all out there, is it really spying?) are a little less noble though, I'll admit. I used to frequent a message board that was a marriage message board (I can't remember the name now! It was 5 years or so ago...) I had followed links to the site where people were specifically gawking at posts made by teenage brides in a trainweck sort of way. Think of it like Teen Mom but happening in real-time right in front of me! It was impossible to turn away!

I particularly got hooked on a pair of sisters-- The older sister (can't remember her name- -Cathy?) was Catholic and very religious and though she had just turned 20 had already been engaged once previously. That ended and then she married a guy she met online after 3 months of knowing him and intentionally got pregnant within a month of getting married. The second sister was named Stephanie, (17?) and though she was ostensibly very religious and Catholic as well she got pregnant within a month of her sister by her long term boyfriend. She still lived at home and claimed that she would not need any sort of public assistance because she had a job being a nanny and so she'd be able to bring her kid to work with her (she worked for her parents babysitting her 3 year old sister) Of course the people who drew my attention to this pair were rather trollish in their comments on the board and the sisters' journals got password protected after about a year or so... and I never found out what happened next!

I know it's silly, but I totally got hooked on their story! I mean, yes, it had all the hallmarks of being a totally disaster, but I was kind of rooting for them nonetheless. (And hoping they would figure out that birth control was not evil!) And now I'll never know what happens next! It obviously had an impact on me since I'm still thinking about them 5 years later.

There are other blogs I'm similarly addicted to and by all appearances these blogs have significant followers (like 30+ comments on each post!) even though they have a super sporadic posting schedule. From what I can tell this may be due in part to their fairly provocative names? Like- "The sexy blog of sexy things"... even though the author ends up writing more about what she had for breakfast than much else. (I admit to being somewhat jealous of the following though I'm surprised I have any followers at all given how boring my life is! Maybe if I wrote about how Jedi and I got it on 11 times yesterday people would be more interested in what I have to say? Hah.)

Anyway, all that to say that if you post a comment on this blog I do usually follow up by looking at your blog though I don't always post (bad me! I know how comments keep me from feeling I'm posting into the void!) Last night I stayed up until 2 am reading the backlog of posts from just such a blog.

One of the reasons I really used to to this was because I wanted to know what led up to the "Happily Ever After" (Or, at least the wedding, which in Disney-speak is one and the same!) I loved reading blogs that were already "completed" so-to-speak. A blog in which someone had already found the love-of-their-life... but the blog was started long before that moment. I loved reading back and seeing if I could identify that moment when "Random Dude I'm Dating" became "The One." Sadly, I never really found any sort of illuminating pattern I could hold onto as some sort of indication that I would have found my own "The One."

Jedi could very easily have stayed in "Random Dude I'm Dating" territory. Sometimes it scares me to think of how easily I could have (sometimes did) dismiss him-- how I could have missed out on the amazing guy who is now part of my life.

That's part of why I read blogs-- to find those patterns that probably don't exist-- so that I can look for them in my own life. I'd hate to miss out on a good thing.

(And, ok-- The drama. I love the drama too...)

Shadier and Shadier!

This is some seriously effed up shit.

So this morning I get not one but THREE phone calls from the "Little Bad Dress Shop." The woman on the other end tells me that they've gone ahead and repaired the rip in the sample dress and "You can't even tell the difference, it's good as new and just perfect." She then proceeds to hard sell me and tries to get me to commit to coming back in and trying it on, asking if I want to put a deposit on it over the phone (um. No thanks.) etc. To get off the phone I tell her I need to talk to my mom.

They offered me the same 10% off as yesterday (though now apparently not charging me for the rip) which brings the dress down from their price of $1238 to $1114... Frankly, not a huge savings for a dress that has been RIPPED and has had a million people trying it on. If it were 50% off that would be a different story... but 10% ? Pheew on that, I spit!

Their entire manner just left me feeling very dirty so I called up another shop that is about 2 hours away-- "Better Bridal Boutique" let's call it. Even over the phone I could tell that the woman at the shop was gobs nicer. She was the owner (Bitchy lady at LBDS was the owner of her shop too.) and she was very helpful.

I told her I was looking for a particular dress. They didn't carry it but they said that they could order it. She then proceeds to give me the info on the dress... "The dress is from the 2008 Spring Collection ... and the MSRP is $1,073."

$1,073, BITCHES!
The "discounted," used, ripped, 2 year old dress was STILL $41 more expensive than buying it BRAND NEW.

My friend Janet is like, "Oh no they didn't! You need to report LBDS to the Better Business Bureau!"

I don't know if I'll do that, but I certainly want to give them a piece of my mind! I know they'll probably call back up but I'm so mad I don't know if I can possibly stay calm and rational when I'm talking to them!

Grrr! What would you do? (Besides order the dress from the Better Bridal Boutique, I mean!) I kind of want to pull a Julia Roberts and go in there and say, "You work on commission, right? Big, big mistake. Huge. I have to go shopping now. Bye, girls!"

Super Shady

This is just a quick post (because I'm living with utter chaos at the moment! Starting a new job on Tuesday... Just wrapped up a conference for 400 people that I just ran this weekend... wrapping up the last tasks for my job... Interviewing for a part-time job tomorrow... Holding an open house for my new job tonight... writing presidential briefings 2 seconds ago... argh! It's a lot. In the middle of all of this I'm trying to plan my wedding. Is that insane, or what?)

First, the GOOD! These super great vases from the Dollar Tree are only... can you guess? $1! Sweet! At Wal-Mart (yes, I do my wedding shopping there, cause I'm FANCY that way...) they were $4.99 each. Beaucoup savings there!

Jedi's dad's friend has a big Hydrangea bush that we can denude for wedding purposes and we'll have candles as well. Not bad, right?

Second, the mildly BAD: I found out our location is going to cost me $400 to rent. SHITE! That was supposed to be FREE! Whaaa! WTF?! And then I have labor charges on top of that. I feel like I was sold a bad bill of goods, but it's probably still cheaper than most other comparable places, I guess. It's got a patio overlooking a lake, etc. As long as the weather is good, should be great. If the weather is crappy, the interior is like a hunting lodge-- so not my style. Urgh.

Thirdly, the idiotically BAD: The local store I wanted to order my dress from can't get it because the designer has a non-compete and the other store (where I tried it on, but the owner was a horrible bitch) is 30 min away. Ugh. So, I call the store 30 min away and talk to them about putting down a deposit...

The owner tells me that the deposit ($200) is non-refundable. Fine, whatever. THEN she tells me that the deposit doesn't guarantee that my dress will be available to order at the time I want to order it-- (February... since I am hoping to get down a few pounds. Ahem.) It has to be ordered in Feb. because it can take 16-20 weeks for the dress to come in. Okay... but again, if I wait until February, there's no guarantee that I can get that dress... and I also won't be able to get my money back from my deposit. (How does that make ANY sense.)

(All this time, I'll point out, the owner is talking to me as if I'm a particularly slow 5-year old. DOES NOT make me want to order from her shop!)

She then says that she could sell me the floor sample that I tried on at a 10% discount. I point out that the floor sample is ripped and she says that she can have that fixed, but that she'll have to charge me-- an amount basically equal to 5% of the dress.

What the fuck???

I ask if that's the best she can do on the price if I were to take the floor sample and she says yes.

So, now I'm harboring a sneaking suspicion that this particular dress is not selling particularly well if she's willing to let go of the floor sample. Since she has proven herself to be rather bitchtastic, I wouldn't put it past her to be totally shady as well. I'm wondering if she wouldn't take my money for the full price of a NEW dress and then have the sample dress repaired and then try to pass it off as the dress that was ordered. SUSPICIOUS!

I totally don't want to order from her, but ordering from various websites seems super sketchy too! Argh! Don't know what to do. The only other shop that carries this designer is 2 hours away. SO ANNOYING! If I do go with this shop, how do I make sure I'm not getting screwed/getting the sample dress???

I would also point out that I wouldn't mind getting the sample dress.... if it was marked down 50% or so. But for 10% off? And then I have to pay for repairs? And alterations on top of that? Forget it!

(Oh! I almost forgot to mention the SUPER SUPER GOOD! Jedi has a job interview on the 19th!!! Keep your fingers crossed! This would be so good for him!!!)