Weddings are boring

No, really, they pretty much are. I've been to two weddings in my life that were AWESOME and AMAZING... and the rest were kind of just meh.

I get it, I totally do. I mean, most weddings follow the same script and unless you're intimately involved with the bride or groom... as a random acquaintance/cousin/date... it just all blends together.  That's not to say that a lot of thought didn't go into the wedding-- I'm sure it did-- but really, for the most part, every wedding is about 90% the same. Entrance... sermon... song... reading...vow...rings...exit...reception/dinner/dancing (obligatory chicken dance).... and, the end.  All the "My colors are Blush and Bashful," talk, all the debates over menus and centerpieces... well, it all blends together.

That's not to fault the simpler weddings--hell, with a $5,000 budget I think my own falls under that label-- but none of it is too interesting, even though it's usually the bride's obsession.

Hell, I'm sick of talking about/thinking about my OWN wedding-- and I'm in it!  I would say that talking with y'all here on the interwebs is the most kvetching about wedding stuff that I've done, other than my discussions with Jedi/his mom/my mom. (And most of my conversations with my mom end with, "I don't care! Do whatever you want for the flowers!")

I've been on the receiving end of obnoxious brides who have their bride books with all the colors laid out and all the table settings and they make you look at all the potential pictures of cake until your eyes glaze over.  I always swore I wouldn't be one of those people because A) it's super annoying and everyone hates you... B) there are more interesting things about me than my wedding... and C) talking about it stresses me out because it just reminds me of how much more there is to dddddoooooooo!  So, as a result, I've made a pretty concerted effort not to bring up the wedding unless someone else brings it up first.

Yesterday I was at Jedi's mother's office, where I frequently am (Did I mention that Jedi, his mother, and I all work for the same organization, though in different buildings) and we were discussing invitations.  Mostly we were discussing the fact that we're really going to have to trim the guest list because with the current proposal from the caterer we're feeding people cheese and crackers and that's not ok. (IMHO) If I'm inviting people I'd rather show 50 people an awesome time and serve them a dinner they'll remember for being delicious than invite 100 people  to a dinner where they'll get rubber chicken.

Anyhoo, as we were discussing this at the conference/lunch table other people sat down and started asking questions about the wedding/telling their own stories about their weddings.  Before I knew it the lunch hour had passed and that had pretty much been the topic of conversation-- though it seemed (to me) that everyone around the table had willingly participated in the conversation. I didn't try to keep the conversation only on my wedding and stop it from meandering to other topics as conversations have a tendency to do.

At the end of the lunch though one woman stood up and said, "All you ever talk about is your wedding."  I was pretty taken aback, esp. given that I usually try to NOT talk about the wedding. I said, "That isn't true!" She kept insisting, "Yes it is. That's all you talk about."

Now, this is a woman I see a few times a week, either in passing or when I visit Jedi's mother. Admittedly, when I visit Jedi's mother in the office it usually DOES have something to do with the wedding, but I can count about 2x in the last 2 weeks that I spoke about the wedding in this woman's presence and at least 5 other times when we had conversations about work related issues.

I was really, really, really hurt. Irrationally so, perhaps, but I just felt like it was a misrepresentation of reality. Part of the other reason I've been quiet about the wedding is also because I've had a couple of friends who are single flat-out say to me that it's too hard for them to hear anything about it (because they'd like to be married. (This isn't my, "Oh, the whole world must be jealous of me!" imaginings, they flat out said they were happy for me, but that it was too difficult for them.)), so I've gotten in the habit of not saying anything, unless, of course, I've been asked.

The woman sent me an email later to apologize, which I appreciated... I still can't help being upset though, and feeling weird for being upset... and then, there's another part of me that's kind of resentful. I feel like I've really tried my best to be respectful of how others feel... But goddamnit, it feels like no one is happy for me, and that I have to find reasons Jedi ISN'T amazing and wonderful so that I can prove that I'm not *quite* that happy, lest I offend someone with my happiness.

Edited to add: Even though I KNOW I've done more wedding talking on this blog than any other place (other than with parents) the "Wedding" labeled posts only #22... which is very far from being the most common topic on this blog. I feel slightly vindicated.

What's up, pussycat?

 I've been MIA for awhile not for any reason in particular other than time is getting away from me. I have 3 emails from my aunts I need to answer, emails from the caterer that I'm avoiding, needing to get addresses for invitations, blah blah blah... wedding crap even I don't care about.  Plus the most stressful time of the year for my new job because I'm putting on 10 events in 10 days this February and so everything I'm doing basically revolves around that.

Not much else to report. The job situation looks to be going permanent, which is AWESOME, but the entire office structure and the structure of the office that oversees this office is changing, so who knows what my job will actually look like in a year as my boss is leaving, her boss' position is eliminated, and her boss' boss is leaving... which means...??? No one knows exactly. Whee! Isn't the recession fun, kids?! Let's all play musical jobs and hope that each job is less miserable than the last.

Jedi continues to be a huge source of joy and comfort in my life and I'm grateful everyday to have him.

(Also, new post up over at my other blog. I've been thinking that maybe I should integrate the two, but at the same time they do serve different purposes. Not sure people want to slog through the weight issues posts here and vice versa.)

Bad Blogger

I know I've been terrible at posting. I've not fallen off the face of the earth... however I did work until midnight last night... and the rest of my week looks to be about the same! Hopefully it will be a bit calmer next week.

I know, I know! However will you muddle along without me!?

New year, old resolutions

I just looked back at some posts from last year to see if I had made any resolutions (knowing full well that I had probably accomplished 0% of them) only to find that... huh. Nope. Apparently made no resolutions last year.

Also, in reading back over some posts from last January I can see how some people would come to the conclusion that I'm the worlds most heinous bitch. I probably need to spend less time griping and more time focusing on the good stuff in my life, huh?  That's probably a good resolution; find something to be grateful for every day. Ok, I can live with that.

There are a lot of things I'm grateful for today... a job I enjoy... Jedi... Jedi having the day off and deciding he wanted to spend the day cleaning the house while I'm at work...a good friend starting a new relationship with a guy...scary/exciting growth challenges at work (I'm co-running a weekend workshop)...

Ooo! Also, totally superficial, but I am MAJORLY excited and grateful that Jedi and I found gold charger plates for the wedding at wal-mart! (You would also be shocked at how many times I asked for Gold Charger Plates and I was directed to the electronics department. Sheesh!) Guess how much we paid for them?! $1.25 for a set of FOUR! They were on super-dee-duperty Christmas clearance and we got majorly lucky and found 108 plates. Not bad for $33.75, huh?

I am also grateful that when we went to the midwest to visit my mother over Christmas everyone got along and it went smoothly. I don't know-- maybe I'm mellowing in my old age, or maybe my mother is, but we seem to be ok these days.

I am now going to steal Perpetua's New Year Questionnaire: 
(And I swear, any answers of mine that bear a marked resemblance to hers are purely coincidental. But, I think that's why I like her blog so much-- she says, more eloquently than I do--what I'm thinking, much of the time.)

1.  What did you do in 2010 that you’ve often done, more times than you’d like to admit?
In addition the the reality TV watching (um, see perpetua's answer. Ditto.) I've probably taken WAY too many naps. I love a good nap. Nothing makes me happier than napping. There's something so decadent about it, and/but it's free! (Also, while it might be partially laziness, I do seem to have some sort of weird vitamin deficiency that the doctor keeps trying to figure out. No joke-- I take 83,333% more than the daily recommended value (that's not a typo) of B-12 and Vitamin D, and I'm still off-the-charts low in it.  They think that's why I'm so tired all the time.  All I know is that I could really use another nap.)



2. Why didn’t you keep your new year’s resolutions?
Well, I didn't make any resolutions last year, probably because I knew I wouldn't keep them. So, I guess you could say that I *did* in fact keep my resolutions?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth to something other than a baby?
Well, a lot of my friends finished their dissertations. I have a couple of friends who are pretty close to getting a film deal (last I heard.) And I have a friend who put on an art exhibit.

Yes. I am in fact terribly jealous of all of them.


4. Did anyone close to you kill someone?
Um, no. And we'll say, "THANK GOD" for that one since Jedi got into a car accident over Christmas break. He's ok, but he broke someone's leg... he was pretty upset and shaken up over it, but it could have been a lot worse.

5. What states of disgrace did you visit?
(I'll just steal Perpetua's answers for this one.)
Overeating (OE), Helpless Rage (HR), Bitter Wallowing (BW), Snarkiness (SN), Internet Stalking (IS)

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you also had in 2010?
Jedi. Hopefully he'll stick around. Even though I'm an annoying harpy.

7. Etch-a-sketch your memories, or put them in a Trapper-Keeper?
Why would anyone want an etch-a-sketch memory? Those things disappear. (Well, except for those ones they break, which someone maintain their sketchiness. But then, who would want a broken etch-a-sketch for a memory.)

8. Fashion sense. Do you have one yet?
Hmmm... I think I do. Or, well, I seem to have developed my own style anyway. It seems that people see something and think it's "So [ME]"  I *think* this is a good thing, but the jury is still out. The only person who doesn't seem to have gotten the memo is my mother, since she keeps trying to dress me like HER. Since she is 6 feet tall, willowy, and small-breasted she keeps trying to dress me in leggings and tunics and belted things.  Since I am 5'7, stumpy, and massively endowed, this is not a look that works well.  But, I think I've found my look (old fashioned, 40's/50's silhouettes) and I'm learning to rock it.

9. It’s New Year’s Eve. A duck and a hippo walk into a bar. Discuss.
Huh? What's do discuss? How bad your taste in jokes is? On that topic, what do you call a fish with no "i." Nevermind, that one doesn't work when it's written down. But trust me, it's hilarious!

8. If you measured your year by achievements and failures, would you weigh more or less?
Are you asking if I'm fat? Do I look fat? cause I'm still feeling kinda fat. Since that's a failure, would that mean I weigh less? Cause failures are minuses, right? Yeah, we'll go with that. I'm a svelte, svelte failure, baby!

9. Biggest fear last year?
Losing my job. Keeping my job. Getting a new job that's just a temporary job.

10. Did you buy a lot of stuff?
Probably more than I need, but less than I want.

11.  Squirrels and mice really can crawl through your pipes and into the toilet. It’s not an urban legend. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Um, flush again? And hope those suckers drown? I'm more worried about snakes... because snakes in toilets are basilisks doing Voldemort's bidding. On the other hand, if I saw a snake in my toilet it would probably mean I'd found the Chamber of Secrets, and that would be pretty cool.
12.  Did you play the lotto? Did you win?
I love playing the lottery, I really do. When I buy a lottery ticket I feel like I'm not just buying a ticket, but for $1 I've bought hope. It's actually a pretty euphoric feeling. In that moment there are endless possibilities and the world is my oyster.

Ok, sure, then I lose. But hey, for $1 it's a quicker & cheaper fix for my bad mood than therapy!


13. You’re forced at gunpoint to dance a jig. What song is playing?
The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

14. Happier, thinner, richer, or Sadder, fatter, poorer?
Um, all of the above? It's been kind of a yo-yo year.  More good than bad though, can't complain.

15. If you could give up television, would you give up television?
Honestly, probably not. I know I'm addicted to it-- not even in the sense of "Oh, I MUST MUST MUST watch that show!" (Which is totally the case for things like "Teen Mom.") but rather in the sense that I need background noise whenever I'm doing anything else around the house.  I don't like music (I know, I'm weird, but I don't.) I don't like DVDs (Something about the predictability of knowing what's coming. I find it distracting.) Having news or a talk show or reality tv on in the background is just the right level of distraction that allows me to actually get things done.

16.  See any good movies lately?
You know what I find sad? Good movies that didn't find an audience for whatever particular reason.  I just saw "Red" recently, and while it wasn't Oscar worthy it was certainly a pretty damn good time. In fact, I think I'll probably get it on DVD, and I hardly ever get movies on DVD.

17. If you had to open either an elephant store or a cupcake store in 2011, which would you choose?
Well, cupcakes are SO over. As a side note, am I the only one who finds that show on TLC - "DC Cupcakes (or whatever) to be SO grating? And I usually find cake shows soothing. There's something about those two sisters though that is just so... "trying too hard,"... yanno? They're just playing to the cameras way too much and their concoctions do not seem very inspired. They're no Ace of Cakes, I'll tell you that.

Anyhoo- Cupcakes are done. Flan is where it's at now.

18. Are you living in the future or the past?
Trying to get out of the past. Trying to let the future take care of itself (lilies of the fields, and all that.) Just attempting to live in the "Now."

Happy New Year to one and all. May it bring untold delights, love, accomplishing of goals, fulfilling of dreams, unexpected wonderment, and much joy to me & mine and you & yours.