Tuesday, July 24, 2012

God is laughing

"The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry," - Burns



I know this blog is often silent because it's "same old, same old, nothing to see here" kind of stuff going on in my life. Work is cyclical, Jedi is wonderful and loving and constant, but that doesn't make for good drama in writing...

That is not why I've been silent lately however.  Right now so much is going on I feel like I'm in the eye of a hurricane and who knows what the landscape will look like once the winds settle down. 

I had a plan for my life.  If you may recall, this time last year I was actually struggling between a couple different plans and decided on plan B.  We'll call it plan B because it wasn't what I really wanted to do, but it was what made the most sense to do.  It was to go to school to get an Ed. D, to continue working full time, to have Jedi continue working part-time while he went to school.  Plan A would have meant that I would have to quit a job I love to go back to school full time for a program I was really interested in but I just couldn't justify the cost or the time and the cost/benefit analysis didn't make sense. 

What's that? Oh, do you hear God laughing? I think I do...  Let's just say that recent events have conspired to make Plan A an almost inevitable choice at this point.

And that's cool.  And fucking scary. And great. But terrifying. And in the long run will mean that I get to have a really wonderful job (ahem, assuming I can get a job), but I have to go through a lot of years of uncertainty first.  And that uncertainty is freaking me out.

I have to make a choice pretty soon.  Leap? Or spend my life wishing I had?


Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity

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