Monday, June 18, 2012

For Posterity

I've had a rough week.  Really rough.  To give you an example, one of our senior administrators just recently quit her job and dyed her hair bright pink as a big ole middle finger to the powers that be.  Her issues are not my issues (other than indirectly) but I understand her impulse and I envy her chutzpah.  I feel like giving a lot of people around here the middle finger.
But that's neither here nor there as far as this particular blog is concerned.  My rough week led me to take an impromptu vacation for my own mental health (and to keep me from saying something rash, which given my mortgage would not be wise...)

I usually leave Jedi a note on his pillow when I go away on trips, and I didn't realize how much it meant to him until he mentioned being sad that I'd left so quickly I hadn't left one this time around.

And so, I sent him this email instead, which I'm putting on the blog for posterity.

I can't say it enough, but I know I don't say it as often as I should, I really have the best husband in the world.

Dearest Jedi,
While I may not have left this on your pillow, I'm thinking about you as I go to sleep tonight.  When I think back to when we first met, I never could have imagined how much I would grow to trust you, to rely on you, to love you with all my heart.  You are so much a part of me that its only when you're not with me that I realize how much of me is missing with you gone.

You are thoughtful and kind and loving in everything that you do, and if I live a hundred years I'll never be able to repay the kindness you've shown me in these 3 short years we've been together.  Thank you for your patience, and for your concern, and for your gentleness.  You've softened my edges and smoothed out my rough spots, even though I know I still have a long ways to go.  Thank you for telling me, always, that it will be all right.  It will be, as long as I have you by my side.  You are not my rock-- you are my soft place to land.

I love you tttthhhhheeeessseee much, and you will always be my favorite.


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