Thursday, December 13, 2012

You have to laugh

Finals are over, first term under my belt, patients being seen, things are good.

Every once in awhile things happen to remind me of why I'm so happy to be out of the madness that was my previous workplace though.  The absolute pettiness and ridiculousness of grown people who passive-aggressively take to facebook to carry out their fights and vendettas is literally unbelievable-- I mean that in the actual sense of the word-- LITERALLY-- when I saw it, I could not believe what I was looking at. Is this shit actually transpiring on my facebook news feed? Are these people actually pretending to be intellectuals hiding behind credentials and name of a school that they think gives them legitimacy?

UGH. is what I have to say to that.  Okay, it's not the most elegant or cogent argument, but I'm tired.  Ugh. Get a grip. Get a life. Get over yourselves.  Ugh.

I spent the rest of the afternoon blocking people-- who needs that negative energy.

I have never been so able to laugh at it all (thank GOD), and I am so appreciative of my awesome cohort and the perspective they give me.  We went out after finals last Tuesday and I haven't had that much fun in years.  We stayed out until 1am, and if we could have stayed out longer we would have. Not everyone there is a kindred spirit, some of them are off-beat, a little kooky, (and well, to be frank there's the general consensus that one member of our cohort is probably an undiagnosed sociopath), but as a group there's a fun chemistry and camaraderie that I have been missing for a long time, and it's something I wasn't even aware that I was lacking in my life until I suddenly found it unexpectedly.

I think a big part of that has to do with the fact that at my previous workplace there only exists a faux pseudo-comraderie-- picture the court of Henry VIII with conspiracies, alliances, faux friendships and false smiles at every turn.  Are there real friends that I made during my time there? certainly.  Are they fewer than the fingers on one hand? Absolutely.

Am I saying that the members of my cohort will be lifelong friends? No, I'm not.  What I am saying is that I'd forgotten the feeling of what it's like to interact as a friend with someone and not wonder what their angle is, not wonder what they secretly want from you.  Maybe that's a cynical perspective, but the place I used to work at is sick as fuck.

Coming out of that mindset is like coming out of a cloudy smoke filled room into fresh air-- Hey, I can breathe again! And I hadn't even really recognized the noxious fumes I was breathing in before.

Now, I just have to hold onto that lesson and remind myself not to let other people's craziness drive me insane.  Weirdly enough, working with people who are actually diagnosed as mentally ill is a healthier experience than working with the people I previously worked with.  You have to laugh, right?

1 comment:

mmeperpetua said...

You're reminding me why I miss the psych majors I knew in undergrad: there was something so straightforward, so level-headed, so NOT Henry VIII about them. I'm glad you're feeling happy, fulfilled, and sane, lady.