Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Looking for a Sign

I have been very happily agonizing over "What to do!? What to do!?" since receiving my acceptance to the Master's program (described below.)

(Part of this happiness is due, in no small part, to the possibility of saying, "Take this job and..." every time I'm frustrated at work these days. That fantasy keeps me going!)

I still haven't come to any decisions. There's a scholarship I applied for, and if I got it, I would certainly go. I've been speaking with Alumni of the program though and based on their feedback it sounds like the program is a bit of a logistical nightmare (what with being based in two continents at the antipodes) and in particular the Norway component is CRAZY expensive. (One alumnus told me, "Be prepared to pay $7 for a cup of coffee.") That cost, combined with the the apparent disorganization and lack of clear direction (which makes it sound a lot like the program I'm CURRENTLY finishing... Hmmm... perhaps ALL master's programs are like this, and I simply wasn't aware of it!? Thoughts?) are making this seem like a less appealing option.

On the other hand... TRAVEL! Lots of fun travel!!! How exciting would it be!? Perhaps I could make good friends in Australia who would invite me to "summer" with them every year, no? Oh, the possibilities! And I do think (even if the program is terribly disorganized, etc.) it could only help, and not harm, my resume.

But... oh, the cost...!

I've been talking it over with Jedi. He's leaving the decision up to me. There are a lot of logistics where he's concerned though since I'd have to subsidize his life if he continued to live in my condo (which, frankly, would only make sense, since I'd basically have to pay the same amount I'd be subsidizing him in rental fees for a storage unit for my stuff. And he can take care of my dog...) As i said, he's being very supportive... but...

Last night he was talking in his sleep (or he was being very sneaky and PRETENDING to talk in his sleep) and he said, "Please don't leave me." Not clear whether he actually was talking about Norway/Australia... (or, well, even ME to be exact)... but I have a feeling he was. I know that if I did leave though, he would survive (and I actually think it would be good for him as he's not really lived on his own), he would grow stronger, and we would be fine.

If I had the money to spare I would totally do this. If I have to borrow the money? I'm not sure it's worth it.

Today is my birthday. I bought a lottery ticket.

Wish me luck!

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