I recently re-signed up for Eharmony. Now, I'm not much of a fan of eharmony generally (don't like their stance on not allowing gay/lesbian members), but they were having a special and I'm desperate. (Especially since I was basically stood up today! But that's for another post...)
So, I've been emailing this guy on eharmony back and forth a few times and I'm thinking there are a few warning signs I should be heeding...
1) He likes Celine Dion
2) He likes Broadway musicals. Especially Rent
3) He likes chick flicks
Now this may not concern me so much if I didn't have a history of dating closeted gay men. And I mean A LOT of closeted gay men. (Apparently I make an excellent beard! Maybe because I'm so warm and caring they feel like they can be themselves with me! And that leads them to come out! That's what I'll keep telling myselt!)
So... do I give it a shot?
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Can someone translate this for me?
"You have some serious game. not!:-) :-) :-) "
What the hell does that even mean?!?
What the hell does that even mean?!?
Fetid dating pool around these parts, that's for sure!
My darling, wonderful, brilliant, funny, beautiful friend NPapaya (yes, also of guest-blogging fame over at Sassy Pants' place- Big Girl Underroos) is single. The only reason I can see why she's still single is that there's no one to date in these parts... But, I have to give her credit! She branches out! And she wades into dating pools I wouldn't touch with a mile-long pole. She give people I wouldn't look at once (let alone twice!) a chance. (Because she's a much nicer gal than me!)
She sent me the following:
"I get a sort of perverse pleasure out of seeing people who've tossed me aside or
deemed me unacceptable back on sites like match.com. Now, of course, I have to
concede that I am also still looking, but this is a side point to be addressed
later.
Recently, I became nearly giddy at the sight of a familiar face - more than a
year ago I saw a decent looking fellow online. Not handsome to a fault, but this
was during my "think broadly" period. We happened to work in the same field and
I knew some people at his organization. He seemed worth exploring. After a few
emails we moved to the phone...both of us seemed willing to meet in person and
made plans to check calendars and talk within the week to confirm a time. On the
appointed day, I called and left a message. When a day or two went by I sent a
tentative email asking if all was ok and if he was still interested in getting
together. I never heard from him.
And now, months later, his insipid smile is at the bottom of my matches again.
At times like this I wish there was a dater's feedback option - where you can
leave a helpful heads-up for any others who might fall victim to this
half-hearted gigolo. What is he doing, racking up names and numbers and
reassuring himself that he's desirable, but never actually pursuing a
relationship?
If only I was the type to name names..."
She sent me the following:
"I get a sort of perverse pleasure out of seeing people who've tossed me aside or
deemed me unacceptable back on sites like match.com. Now, of course, I have to
concede that I am also still looking, but this is a side point to be addressed
later.
Recently, I became nearly giddy at the sight of a familiar face - more than a
year ago I saw a decent looking fellow online. Not handsome to a fault, but this
was during my "think broadly" period. We happened to work in the same field and
I knew some people at his organization. He seemed worth exploring. After a few
emails we moved to the phone...both of us seemed willing to meet in person and
made plans to check calendars and talk within the week to confirm a time. On the
appointed day, I called and left a message. When a day or two went by I sent a
tentative email asking if all was ok and if he was still interested in getting
together. I never heard from him.
And now, months later, his insipid smile is at the bottom of my matches again.
At times like this I wish there was a dater's feedback option - where you can
leave a helpful heads-up for any others who might fall victim to this
half-hearted gigolo. What is he doing, racking up names and numbers and
reassuring himself that he's desirable, but never actually pursuing a
relationship?
If only I was the type to name names..."
Just when you thought you'd heard it all!
I certainly know why THIS guy is single! (Note also that this guy is over 50 and his ideal wife is in her 20s. But he doesn't want any gold-digging whores! Don't know which other 20-year olds go for 50+ year olds these days, but ok!)
Quick (wife) Qualification List
Besides those things that can be ascertained from the "Quick Disqualification List" above, the following is a list of things I seek in my future wife.
My preferred height for my wife is between 5'4" (162 cm) to 5'8" (172 cm). However, if you are very thin, shorter is fine, and taller is fine if you are slim.
Though most men like large breasts, I don't. The larger the breasts, the more I'm turned off romantically. Bra size 32 B is my preferred, but any size up to 36 C, depends on your height, is good. Any larger than that will depend on the rest of you. I've seen women with 36 Ds that are fine. But if you are in the 40 Ds and above, forget it, a total turn off for me romantically.
Weight wise, for the following heights, the indicated weights, give or take 10 pounds, are generally best. However, depending on your build, an acceptable weight may be quite different. For example, I have heavy bones, in high school, I was 20 pounds over what the charts said I should be, but there was no fat on me whatsoever. I've known girls that were very slim but weighed more than the average girl her height and build:
5'0" - 90 lbs
5'4" - 120 lbs
5'8" - 140 lbs
You are under thirty years old. My preferred range is between 24 and 29 for such girls have generally finished their formal education and have a good idea of what they want for themselves in life. However, I will consider younger and older. If you over 29, you will have to be pretty and slim.
You have no children, will not have children and do not want children. I have already raised four wonderful children and do not wish to raise anymore.
Sorry, but when it comes to turning me on, light chocolate to white skin color is needed. However, there are exceptions for darker skin, but they have to be very beautiful.
As my wife, you will have no desire for a career of your own, since as my wife your career will be working side by side with me starting and running our own businesses (Yes, I’ve started and ran my own successful businesses in the past). Only my future wife and me will know the details of the businesses until they are started. All you will know now is that they will be financial in nature, they will help others financially.
You are a hard worker. My wife to be and I will work hard together, play hard, rest well, and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Our work will have us traveling all around America. The fruits of our labor will enable us to travel around the world if we choose.
You are content in humble circumstances. My future wife and I will live humbly at first and as our businesses grow and flourish, so will our lifestyle. Therefore, if you are looking for an easy life of play and leisure then I am not the one for you. This eliminates virtually all girls of well to do parents for such girls are used to getting everything they want and have an expectation of instant gratification. My joy will come from watching my wife’s enthusiasm and excitement of growing businesses that provides the financial freedoms to do the things she so desires to do.
You must be able to get yourself, at your own expense, to anywhere in America.
NO FOREIGN WOMEN UNLESS you can get yourself to America at your own expense. I will not help you financially so don't ask. I will not go to your country except for a vacation sometime after we have been married.
You like the outdoors and such things as hiking in the mountains to walking on the beach, volley ball, tennis, rollerblading, ice skating, skiing – snow and water, and the like.
Quick (wife) Qualification List
Besides those things that can be ascertained from the "Quick Disqualification List" above, the following is a list of things I seek in my future wife.
My preferred height for my wife is between 5'4" (162 cm) to 5'8" (172 cm). However, if you are very thin, shorter is fine, and taller is fine if you are slim.
Though most men like large breasts, I don't. The larger the breasts, the more I'm turned off romantically. Bra size 32 B is my preferred, but any size up to 36 C, depends on your height, is good. Any larger than that will depend on the rest of you. I've seen women with 36 Ds that are fine. But if you are in the 40 Ds and above, forget it, a total turn off for me romantically.
Weight wise, for the following heights, the indicated weights, give or take 10 pounds, are generally best. However, depending on your build, an acceptable weight may be quite different. For example, I have heavy bones, in high school, I was 20 pounds over what the charts said I should be, but there was no fat on me whatsoever. I've known girls that were very slim but weighed more than the average girl her height and build:
5'0" - 90 lbs
5'4" - 120 lbs
5'8" - 140 lbs
You are under thirty years old. My preferred range is between 24 and 29 for such girls have generally finished their formal education and have a good idea of what they want for themselves in life. However, I will consider younger and older. If you over 29, you will have to be pretty and slim.
You have no children, will not have children and do not want children. I have already raised four wonderful children and do not wish to raise anymore.
Sorry, but when it comes to turning me on, light chocolate to white skin color is needed. However, there are exceptions for darker skin, but they have to be very beautiful.
As my wife, you will have no desire for a career of your own, since as my wife your career will be working side by side with me starting and running our own businesses (Yes, I’ve started and ran my own successful businesses in the past). Only my future wife and me will know the details of the businesses until they are started. All you will know now is that they will be financial in nature, they will help others financially.
You are a hard worker. My wife to be and I will work hard together, play hard, rest well, and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Our work will have us traveling all around America. The fruits of our labor will enable us to travel around the world if we choose.
You are content in humble circumstances. My future wife and I will live humbly at first and as our businesses grow and flourish, so will our lifestyle. Therefore, if you are looking for an easy life of play and leisure then I am not the one for you. This eliminates virtually all girls of well to do parents for such girls are used to getting everything they want and have an expectation of instant gratification. My joy will come from watching my wife’s enthusiasm and excitement of growing businesses that provides the financial freedoms to do the things she so desires to do.
You must be able to get yourself, at your own expense, to anywhere in America.
NO FOREIGN WOMEN UNLESS you can get yourself to America at your own expense. I will not help you financially so don't ask. I will not go to your country except for a vacation sometime after we have been married.
You like the outdoors and such things as hiking in the mountains to walking on the beach, volley ball, tennis, rollerblading, ice skating, skiing – snow and water, and the like.
Alcohol and Work Function = Bad Idea
So, I've been at an office retreat for the past few days, and it was surprisingly nice. (Not much is worse than mandatory fun with people you have little in common with...) I actually enjoyed getting to know some of my colleagues better.
However. However...
There is a young colleague in our office--he's 24. (I'm 27, for the curious.) We got to talking over dinner about dating and online dating and I described some of the experiences I've related to all of you.
Well, later that evening, young colleague (YC) proceeds to get SHITFACED drunk, can barely walk, slurring, and basically making a fool of himself in front of the vice president of a major institution. AWE-some! Way to advance your career!
So, later that evening we end up on the elevator to the same floor where our rooms were located and he kind of corners me.... The following is the basic jist of our conversation.
YC: I don't know why your single!
ME: Me neither (Actually, I do know why I'm single...See previous blog entries. I'd rather be single than deal with THAT!)
YC:You should go on myspace. Don't be desperate. Only desperate people go to dating sites. What are you looking for? See, you don't know what you're looking for, that's the problem with women, we men, we want to give them what they want, but women don't know what they want...
ME: I know what I want. Honesty. Kindness. No major personality disorders. A full time-grown up job. (Really, is that so much to ask for?)
YC:Ok then, so you'd sleep with someone who had a girlfriend? (Note that YC HAS a girlfriend)
ME: Uh. No. That wouldn't be honest.
YC: But what if the girlfriend knew about you?
ME: I require monogamy.
YC: SEE! SEE! You women don't know what you want!
ME: Ummm... Monogamy is pretty much expected by 90% of the population... (Note to self. Why am I arguing with a drunk???)
YC: Not really. Haven't you had instances where you just wanted to sleep with someone and forget the consequences?
ME: Um. Yes. But then I remembered the consequences, and I didn't do it.
YC: But you WANTED to do it!
ME: But I didn't.
YC: But if you could do it, you would do it, you should do it. If it came up again would you do it? If so then you should do it if it came up again.
ME: I think you should go to your room now.
YC: You're laughing at me! Why are you laughing at me? I'm serious. You would do it, you wanted to do it, so you should do it, the consequences wouldn't be the consequences if you did it because then they would be different consequences.
ME: Good Night, YC. Go to bed.
Now, I'm not vain enough to think he was actually hitting on me... And i'm not a sue-happy kinda person.... But if I were? That has sexual harrassment suit written all over it.
Sheesh people. Save the binge drinking for your frat buddies.
However. However...
There is a young colleague in our office--he's 24. (I'm 27, for the curious.) We got to talking over dinner about dating and online dating and I described some of the experiences I've related to all of you.
Well, later that evening, young colleague (YC) proceeds to get SHITFACED drunk, can barely walk, slurring, and basically making a fool of himself in front of the vice president of a major institution. AWE-some! Way to advance your career!
So, later that evening we end up on the elevator to the same floor where our rooms were located and he kind of corners me.... The following is the basic jist of our conversation.
YC: I don't know why your single!
ME: Me neither (Actually, I do know why I'm single...See previous blog entries. I'd rather be single than deal with THAT!)
YC:You should go on myspace. Don't be desperate. Only desperate people go to dating sites. What are you looking for? See, you don't know what you're looking for, that's the problem with women, we men, we want to give them what they want, but women don't know what they want...
ME: I know what I want. Honesty. Kindness. No major personality disorders. A full time-grown up job. (Really, is that so much to ask for?)
YC:Ok then, so you'd sleep with someone who had a girlfriend? (Note that YC HAS a girlfriend)
ME: Uh. No. That wouldn't be honest.
YC: But what if the girlfriend knew about you?
ME: I require monogamy.
YC: SEE! SEE! You women don't know what you want!
ME: Ummm... Monogamy is pretty much expected by 90% of the population... (Note to self. Why am I arguing with a drunk???)
YC: Not really. Haven't you had instances where you just wanted to sleep with someone and forget the consequences?
ME: Um. Yes. But then I remembered the consequences, and I didn't do it.
YC: But you WANTED to do it!
ME: But I didn't.
YC: But if you could do it, you would do it, you should do it. If it came up again would you do it? If so then you should do it if it came up again.
ME: I think you should go to your room now.
YC: You're laughing at me! Why are you laughing at me? I'm serious. You would do it, you wanted to do it, so you should do it, the consequences wouldn't be the consequences if you did it because then they would be different consequences.
ME: Good Night, YC. Go to bed.
Now, I'm not vain enough to think he was actually hitting on me... And i'm not a sue-happy kinda person.... But if I were? That has sexual harrassment suit written all over it.
Sheesh people. Save the binge drinking for your frat buddies.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I can't have a conversation by myself!
This may seem...you know...obvious...but it's hard to get to know someone if you don't ask them questions.
And, P.S. Talking exclusively about yourself is a total turnoff!
...sigh... another doesn't make the cut!
And, P.S. Talking exclusively about yourself is a total turnoff!
...sigh... another doesn't make the cut!
Are you a construction worker?
Whatsup? You look hot
This is the the internet version of having your ass groped on the subway. Yea, I'll go out with you after that....
This is the the internet version of having your ass groped on the subway. Yea, I'll go out with you after that....
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