Thursday, September 4, 2008

Alcohol and Work Function = Bad Idea

So, I've been at an office retreat for the past few days, and it was surprisingly nice. (Not much is worse than mandatory fun with people you have little in common with...) I actually enjoyed getting to know some of my colleagues better.

However. However...

There is a young colleague in our office--he's 24. (I'm 27, for the curious.) We got to talking over dinner about dating and online dating and I described some of the experiences I've related to all of you.

Well, later that evening, young colleague (YC) proceeds to get SHITFACED drunk, can barely walk, slurring, and basically making a fool of himself in front of the vice president of a major institution. AWE-some! Way to advance your career!

So, later that evening we end up on the elevator to the same floor where our rooms were located and he kind of corners me.... The following is the basic jist of our conversation.

YC: I don't know why your single!
ME: Me neither
(Actually, I do know why I'm single...See previous blog entries. I'd rather be single than deal with THAT!)

YC:You should go on myspace. Don't be desperate. Only desperate people go to dating sites. What are you looking for? See, you don't know what you're looking for, that's the problem with women, we men, we want to give them what they want, but women don't know what they want...
ME: I know what I want. Honesty. Kindness. No major personality disorders. A full time-grown up job.
(Really, is that so much to ask for?)
YC:Ok then, so you'd sleep with someone who had a girlfriend?
(Note that YC HAS a girlfriend)
ME: Uh. No. That wouldn't be honest.
YC: But what if the girlfriend knew about you?
ME: I require monogamy.
YC: SEE! SEE! You women don't know what you want!
ME: Ummm... Monogamy is pretty much expected by 90% of the population...
(Note to self. Why am I arguing with a drunk???)
YC: Not really. Haven't you had instances where you just wanted to sleep with someone and forget the consequences?
ME: Um. Yes. But then I remembered the consequences, and I didn't do it.
YC: But you WANTED to do it!
ME: But I didn't.
YC: But if you could do it, you would do it, you should do it. If it came up again would you do it? If so then you should do it if it came up again.
ME: I think you should go to your room now.
YC: You're laughing at me! Why are you laughing at me? I'm serious. You would do it, you wanted to do it, so you should do it, the consequences wouldn't be the consequences if you did it because then they would be different consequences.
ME: Good Night, YC. Go to bed.

Now, I'm not vain enough to think he was actually hitting on me... And i'm not a sue-happy kinda person.... But if I were? That has sexual harrassment suit written all over it.

Sheesh people. Save the binge drinking for your frat buddies.

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