Yea! Another submission! This cracks me up! (ok, ok, bad pun!)
I've a dear friend who's in her 60s and completely amazing--tenured art professor in Boston, funny, still attractive, incredibly well traveled, plays tennis, is financially well off--and even she's not been able to meet a really good guy. She was just telling me a couple weeks ago about this guy she was dating, "D", a Harvard alum, who was so cheap that when they were out and about during the day, she'd want to have lunch in a cafe, and he'd always say he wasn't hungry, and he'd sit there and watch her eat. Then in the car afterward, he'd take out a packet of crackers. He always carried a packet of crackers.