Monday, September 29, 2008

Totally ungrateful?


So, given my dry spell I should be crazy grateful that I've met someone (Atlas) who (so far!) seems to think that I'm A-ok enough to see again. Not only that, I actually like him (so far!) as a person and I find him attractive. Awesome! Right?

But.

But.

I do not find myself attracted tohim.

[forehead slap]

Now, I freely admit that this may change. There have been times when, upon meeting someone, I've thought to myself "Not even if we were the last people on earth," only to find myself having a fantasy about them after I've gotten to know them better.

And, like I said, I find him attractive and like him as a person. Good start, right?

But.

But.

At this point I usually start doing the doodly hearts things with names-- (Yes, I am a 5th grade girl, why do you ask?)--and getting all fluttery and nervous.

But. I'm not.

This feels totally platonic so far.

So, is this a good sign or a bad sign?

I suppose it could be a good sign since it's not usually how I go about things.

But. Isn't that fluttery feeling the best part about getting to know someone? The walking on cloud nine feeling?

Is it that I'm afraid to go there mentally because I actually like him and therefore if it doesn't work out it will be a bigger blow than if I didn't like him as a person?

Or, is it just cause there's no chemistry?

I know NPapaya's take on this-- if there's no chemistry, she feels like she can't make it happen.

Frankly, I haven't had enough "Chemistry at first sight" relationships vs. "Chemistry over time" relationships to make an informed judgment as to which is better for me. (If there even IS one that is better than the other.)

Though... I do have to say... the person I felt the strongest chemistry for ever I still... er... have nice dreams about today.

And those guys that I "developed" chemistry with? Yea. Never really think about them at all.

[Sigh] [Forehead slap]

1 comment:

Nariah said...
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