Jedi is driving me fucking nuts.
And this is making me want to be really mean to him and call him names. (Which I've refrained from doing thus far. Aren't you proud of me? My therapist is proud of me!)
Now, to be fair, I walked into this relationship knowing these were Jedi's failings and my eyes were wide open. I weighed the pros and cons and decided that having someone who was nurturing, unfailingly kind, and thoughtful was worth more than having someone who was ambitious, worldly, and could spell.
That doesn't mean it doesn't drive me fucking nuts.
As I've mentioned before, Jedi hates his job and is actively looking for a new one. He's settled back on teaching/working with kids as his career path. Ok. Fine. I'll support him in that. (I did convince him to stick to elementary education because frankly middle schoolers and high schoolers would eat him alive.) 4-6 grade would be a good fit for him, I think, I can honestly say that.
To help him get more experience working with kids I put Jedi in touch with the husband of a friend of mine who runs the Boys and Girls club in our area. Lo and behold they were looking for volunteers over the 4th of July, so we volunteered and were happy to help out, and Jedi made some good contacts with people who run other programs and have other opportunities. Jedi had a good conversation with a guy named Kevin and Kevin said, "Email me! I'll put you in touch with so-and-so who runs such-and-such. I also run ABC program which I'll need some help with if you want to volunteer for that. I was a principal in xyz school and I know all the principal's around here. I can help you out and serve as a reference if you need one in the future."
Wouldn't a logical person think that Kevin was offering to serve as a reference AFTER Jedi volunteered with some of the programs he runs? Hmmm...? Given that he'd known Jedi all of 2 hours when he said this?
The Following is the text message exchange:
Me: (a week after meeting Kevin) Have you contacted Kevin yet?
Me: You should get his email from [Friend's husband.]
...A day later...
Me: Have you contacted Kevin yet?
Jedi: Ok, This is the email I'm going to send him. "Hello Kivin,[sic] I was wondering if I could use you as a reference? Can you call me? -Jedi"
Me: [inside my head and over text] NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! [Inside my head, "You DOLT!!!!]
Me: You can't send him that! You don't even know him yet! Don't send anything yet.
Jedi: What am I emailing him about then?
Me: [In my head: "YOU IDIOT!"] To get more info about the volunteer opportunities and to get the email for so-and-so who runs the rec program!
Jedi: I can ask [friend's husband] about that.
Me: You need to make contact with Kevin and form a good relationship with him before you ask him for a reference! Esp. since he's worked with all the schools around here. It's called NETWORKING!!!!!!!! [In my head: "You IDIOT!"]
Jedi: Don't get mad.
Like I said, aren't you proud of me for keeping the name-calling in my head? I told my therapist that I am undoubtedly a bad person who should not be getting married if my instinct is to call the man I love an idiot (even if it is only inside my head. Who knows when that might just slip out of my mouth?)
Sigh... All this is while I'm in the middle of (online) dress shopping during my lunch break.
Which makes me think-- Have I turned into one of those people whose focusing more on the wedding than the marriage? God, I hope not. This exchange does make me wonder though if I'm doing the right thing.
In other news... wanna see the dress I picked out? Look away now if you want to be surprised!It's from David's Bridal-- Which is a shitty shitty store, I know, (which I always swore to avoid) but at the same time I'm very poor. I like the style of this dress though and it's cheap enough that if I get it and hate it my future mother-in-law (she of the mad sewing skills) can use it as a pattern and do it in a fabric I like. (e.g. NOT cheap industrial polyester. Ew.)
Additionally, do you have any idea how HARD dress shopping is when the nearest bridal shop is 2 hours away!? Freakin-A! The weird thing is the David's bridal seems to be the only place that actually tells you their ACTUAL prices on their website (everyone else has some variation of $, $$, $$$, $$$$... which is effing STUPID given that depending on the website $ could be $100 or it could be $1000. WTF?) This also makes wedding dress shopping nearly impossible... and then add to that that I'm what they delicately call plus-sized... which seems to relegate me to a muumuu or tent variation. (Also, have you noticed that the plus sized dresses seem to have excessive beading and lace and ugly shit on it? Is that to detract from my hideous plus-sized body? Cause it ain't workin'!
They have a 14 day return policy-- this dress is only available online, so I think I'm going to get it and just see how it goes. Wish me luck!