Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Familiarity Breeds Contempt?

Ok, ok I admit it. I was probably just in a grumpy mood in general last night... (I had a lovely conversation with my mother in which she informed me that if Jedi was saying he liked me and thought I was beautiful then he was obviously lying and wanted something from me. *sigh* Yes, I realize these are her OWN issues and that she's projecting, but it's hard to disassociate sometimes.)

So, I was in a grumpy mood about that.... and... also... my own idiocy.

You see, I said the "L" word. And it wasn't "Like." And it just kind of slipped out. (No lectures, please!)

I mean, on the one hand I do love him.... in that way that I love all my really good friends. I even lust after him. I don't think I ***LOVE*** him in the romantic sense (of happily-ever after & fairies & magic) way that I think HE means it when he says the "L" word.

Sooooo.... Ahem. I guess it would be kind of awkward to take it back, huh? Ahem. This morning when he said, "I love you," and I responded with "Thanks," I think he was kinda dismayed.

Yeah. So. Um. Not quite sure what to do about that.

I really needed to be alone last night but he came over because he'd forgotten something at my house. And as seems to happen, when he stops over I let him STAY over because I'm totally a sucker. (And oh, did I mention I lust after him?)

But I was grumpy. He wanted to have a deep and meaningful talk... (um, while we were getting busy...) and I nearly kicked him out he was being so annoying.

I think I just need alone time for the next few days.

4 comments:

arf said...

Nothing said during or immediately after sex counts. Too many happy brain chemicals bouncing around in skulls to make any sensical anything.

Therefore, any attempt to have a serious conversation during activities of that sort is entirely beyond the pale.

jo said...

i agree with what arf said. well unless the L word has already been said for the first time (and possibly at least a few more times after) not under those circumstances can future sayings of the L word under those circumstances count.

Perpetua said...

So what you meant was, "I love you, man!" and what he heard was, "I am in love with you!" Ugh. That totally sucks.

"I forgot something!" sounds like a pretense to get in the door, which means he's (indirectly) crossing the "me time" boundaries you set. Thus, since he violated the boundaries, nothing said during the violation of the boundaries counts. It is the Law & Order of Love. :)

Hypatia said...

Arf & Jo-- Exactly!

Perpetua-- Ha ha! yes...

Also... the setting of boundaries... ugh. I've put my foot down for the past few days about not letting him come over, and both days he's found excuses to stop by my office. Nothing obtrusive, really... just stopping by for 2-3 minutes, which is fine. But still. I feel like they're excuses and that I should put my foot down...