Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The best laid plans
I worked a lot of events for my office over the weekend so I took Monday off. Mr.2young had also asked for Monday off several months ago (before he knew me... perhaps anticipating Halloween revelries?)
On Saturday night though I ended up staying at a fancy-schmancy hotel (ok. Expensive is the better word because it's one of those 'quaint' hotels that looks like your grandmother's house,) for work. I invited Mr.2young to spend the night, which was a last minute thing. I was hesitant to do so-- I like to keep my worlds separate and I'd already seen him a fair bit that week.
Oh! Side note! Have I mentioned that I've put him on a schedule? I've set aside Wednesdays and Fridays for him (with perhaps a free day here and there...)... I really felt I had to do this for my own sanity. I need a lot of alone time to be mentally healthy and if he had his way he'd be with me 24/7. I always feel bad turning him down so I thought it would just be easier if we had set days -- thereby solving 2 problems-- he doesn't have to ask when he can see me next and I don't have to feel bad for telling him I'm not up for seeing him that night. (Is that weird? Npapaya thinks that's weird...)
But, we had a good time at the hotel, and then he came over and spent the night on Sunday. On Monday we had a great day (well, we would have stayed in all day if I'd had my way...) but he wanted to get out and DO something. So, we went to the outlet stores and went shopping and then went out to a nice dinner. He was very patient throughout the day as I tried on about a million different clothes (I pointed out that he could go to the gaming store next door, but he insisted on staying with me.
The drive home was sweet. It was, I don't know-- just the first time that I kind of started feeling like maybe I'm really falling for him, you know? I don't WANT to... I don't intend to... I still feel like this can only end with hurt feelings... but he's really growing on me.
On Monday night it was a bit AWKWARD though! He had forgotten some things he needed at his house (and by "his" house I mean his parent's house if you'll recall.) So we swung by there, and of course his mom and sister were in their pjs since it was 10pm(and his dad was sick!). I volunteered to stay in the car but that would have been a bit awkward too since I do know his mom. It ended up being fine, but I do find the whole situation rather weird... maybe it's just the fact that they know he's picking up stuff and then "sleeping" over at my house??? I find that uncomfortable.
Then, last night (no, not one of our agreed upon nights... I guess I'm not doing very well with that, huh?) I just really wanted to see him. I was tired and he had late classes, so I went to bed and left the door unlocked for him.
It felt... shockingly normal. I think last night was the first night I had him sleep over where I didn't feel resentful that there was someone else in my bed. (Don't get me wrong. I like having him sleep over, but in the middle of the night I usually wake up and find myself annoyed that he's hogging the space or the covers or something.) Last night just felt right.
I think that I'm maybe, quite possibly, rather smitten.