Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Not the Mommy!

It's kind of boring all the time to read about how well things are going with me and Jedi, isn't it? Well, dear readers, you're in luck! Jedi is seriously pissing me off!

As you may recall, Jedi has considerably less education than I do. He's about a year away from finishing an associate's degree whereas I'm a few months (assuming I get my damned thesis done) away from finishing my second masters. That, in and of itself, wouldn't necessarily be that dramatic, other than the fact that his track record indicates some issues with follow-through and general stick-to-it-ness.

Does it matter to me that he finishes his degree? YES. Is it a deal breaker? Likely. Call me a snob if you must, but there you have it. It's not even for the snobbish aspects of it, but also for what it represents-- Can you take your commitments and responsibilities seriously?

Tragically, right now, it seems like the answer might be "No."

I don't want to be Jedi's mother or his babysitter, it's not my responsibility. I probably shouldn't care if he never does his homework and if he spends his time playing video games instead, right? Um... but I *do* care. Which has led me to nag and be mean. And I'm not even sorry about it, but it pisses me off that I feel like I HAVE to nag or nothing would get done! I didn't sign up to date a high schooler who needs to have his nose put to the grindstone in order to finish his damned assignments!

Jedi is particularly procrastinating in English. Even though he's halfway through the term and he wouldn't get any of his costs back, he decided it would be a great idea to drop the class... because he doesn't have any time to do his work... or so he says. BULLSHIT! If he stopped playing his gameboy 24/7 he'd have enough time to finish a doctoral thesis!

He went to his professor to tell him he decided to drop the class and his professor kindly (but inexplicably) decided to give him a 14 day extension on all of his papers. WHAT A GIFT! Jedi was still considering dropping the class...! (IDIOT!) I, (and his mother, I think) harangued him into NOT dropping it. This, however, has not led to an increase in actually DOING the assignments as far as I can tell.

This weekend as I was doing some work I noticed him playing on his computer. I knew he had assignments due so I asked him, "Did you finish your homework?" (Gawed! Something I never thought I would hear myself say until I had a third grader!) He turned to me and said, "Have you finished your thesis?"

I got totally snarky with him and responded, "Only one of us here has a track record for not finishing stuff."

He got really pissed off about that, but frankly I was pissed off at him.

I told him that I felt he was taking advantage of me. Yes, he contributes $200/month to housing costs... but that's a drop in the bucket. My total housing costs are about $1300/month. I told him, "I am subsidizing your life. I don't mind doing so since you're a student and I want to have a future with you, and you're working towards that future. HOWEVER, when I see you not taking your studies seriously I feel taken advantage of and that you're jeopardizing that future."

He wasn't too happy about that, but said he understood. We'll see if he shapes up.

At the same time, I still feel a little pissy about it. I'm not his mother, for eff's sake!


Anonymous said...

I don't get bored reading happy stuff. Happy stuff is good.

I know I've said it before, but you're not a snob for wanting him to finish his education. I've told you my rule, right, about being allowed to demand back what you put in? So I can't demand that Wizard have six-pack abs, because he's not getting that from me. But I can ask that he has an advanced degree, because I have one.

And if that's snobbish...so be it. :(

Hypatia said...

Hee Hee! That's not snobbish! I'll never have 6 pack abs either!