Monday, November 15, 2010

In Which My Mother Makes a Good Point:

(Ahem. So, I got the actual numbers from the good photographer today... It's actually $4000. Gack! Yes, that sound you hear is me choking on my own inhaled breath.)

This is the email my mother sent in regards to this issue. For once, she actually has a good point. (Shocking I know!)

I could hear you on the phone yesterday and knew that the photos are very important to you.
I looked at both sites.  Yes, there is a difference in the style of photos...but could you possibly show her the style you like as input?  Is it really worth a $3000 diffrence???
Also, just an observation from one who has made many mistakes in my own marriage by doing what I wanted more than making a decision as a couple.
Obviously, since [Jedi] said that the could go with the lower cost one, the photos are not his utmost priority.  He will go along with you because he will do anything to please you and make you happy right now.  Believe me, people build unspoken resentment though and it comes out sideways years later.  (I still heard in recent years how my head flower piece was more expensive than his suit.....:(
Anyway, think about it this way, now that you will no longer be single, by a couple.  What would you think if [Jedi] spent $4000 of your common budget on something that was not THAT important to you (whether it is for the wedding or else). 
As my sister told me this week, ([She] wanted to rent a chalet in the mountains for all the [Family] this coming Christmas).  Quand on n'a pas de sous, il faut pas essayer de faire les riches...:)
Think long and hard before you commit.  Good luck with your decision.  

Is it bad that I still REALLY REALLY REALLY want the amazing photographer though? I mean, REALLY?


Anonymous said...

GACK. Sorry, was choking on my coffee there. That is a lot of dollar bills. Like, half your current budget. I don't entirely agree with your mom in that I doubt Jedi would resent you for it (I'm not your mom, though, so she's probably more trustworthy than an internet friend!).

When planning our wedding we took the approach that we spent money on what was important to us, either individually or together, and then saved money on the unimportant stuff. For example, Wizard spent way more on a hotel suite than I thought necessary, but he wanted us to have a nice stay. It's not like I didn't enjoy it, and it's not like Jedi won't enjoy the beautiful pictures.

Is there any way to see if "good" photographer can do similar work? Show her what you're interested in and see if she can do it? If she's just starting out, giving her an idea of what people want and what she should shoot for (ha) actually helps her in the long run.

But if not...that is seriously a lot of money for less hours of coverage.

Hypatia said...

Well, Jedi was pretty grumpy yesterday over photographer stuff, but part of it is that he #1) doesn't want to plan, but #2) wants to make decisions. Which is kind of maddening, to be honest.

I have compromised with him on Engagement pictures-- because I don't give a DAMN about them, but they're super important to him. So, we're going to go with the cheaper photographer for that and ask her to match the style of the photographer we really like to see what she's able to do.