Thursday, November 20, 2008

No Energy

There's been nothing to report lately, and I don't really have the energy to date right now. I'm not so much disheartened as I am exhausted.

I'm sick of constantly looking for the "right" person. Certainly not sick enough to settle for the "wrong" person-- (Heaven forbid! I'll NEVER be one of THOSE girls!)-- but just generally tired of the online scene.

One of the crazy guys from a month or so ago that I had contemplated going out with (but then cut off contact when he started being really odd... and insulting!) contacted me again. I contemplated saying yes for a millisecond and then told him that based on our previous contact I didn't think we were a good fit--but best of luck.

His response? "I wasn't in to you anyways."

*Sigh* Dodged that bullet, but whereas I could have laughed at it awhile back, I'm just too tired to come up with something snarky in response.

Hopeless? I'm not entirely hopeless, but I do feel like it shouldn't be this hard. I admit that a lot of this is colored by hearing a fair number of stories recently about people who "Just knew!" when they found "The one!"

Now, I don't even know if I believe in the idea of "the one!" (Or even, of many ones!), but I certainly like the idea! And I alternately feel hopeful, hopeless and inadequate in hearing those "happily ever after stories."

I know many people felt I didn't give Atlas a fair shake. I didn't feel much attraction to him, but I admit that even I don't know how much of that was because there really *wasn't* any spark there... or that I was unwilling to let one develop because I was looking for a reason to push him away from the beginning. Honestly, I don't know the true answer to that.

All I wonder is, should this really be this hard? I'm NOT unhappy being single, I actually enjoy it 99.9% of the time. But it would be nice if there were viable options out there. Ya know. Just to take for a test run.

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