Jedi brought me flowers at work yesterday, which was sweet. I appreciate it, I do. I make a point of telling him how much I appreciate it (mostly so he'll keep it up!). I'm even no longer cringing when I refer to him as my boyfriend. I even (gulp) let him put some pictures of us on facebook and I let him tag me in them! (As a side note, he looks smoking hot in the pictures... too bad this is an anonymous blog! ha ha!) That's kind of a big deal... (Though, I haven't changed my relationship status and I'm not likely to, since it's nobody's business... (and always leads to much awkwardness when the status is changed back. ha ha!))
So... yeah. I'm getting more settled into this relationship thing. I even suggested plans for New Year's eve... (to which he replied, "Oh? Are you planning on keeping me around 'til then?" He's learning quickly, that Jedi... ha. He's getting used to my sense of humor, I think.)
One thing that is a little awkward is that since he's basically spent about 5 nights in the last 2 months back at his parent's place, they're no longer charging him for food...
To which I lightheartedly replied-- but-not-so-jokingly-- Oh, you can help me with the groceries then.
He agreed. He also, very thoughtfully, and of his own idea, offered to pay for 1/2 of my birth control. (It's the nuva-ring which is $30/month... CRAZY.) I appreciated that a lot.
However. Cash has yet to appear.
And it's kind of totally awkward to bring that up.
But it kinda pisses me off when he talks about how little money he has (Ok, he makes very little, but he actually has a TON more in savings than I do because he has NO expenses other than a car payment and tuition. I pay tuition, PLUS all of those bills and more. grrr.) So, I'm at a negative balance, if you count the credit cards, and he's at a +++ balance. And he tells me how little money he has, and then he buys himself a new DVD seemingly every few days.
Now, mind you, I would never begrudge someone their toys. Heaven knows I have my own. And it's his money. Even if we were serious I would want him to have "his" money (and I would have mine, and there would be a joint account.)
However... what do I do? Just present him with a bill? Say, "Your total is $52.44, please pay by the end of the week?"
Ugh.
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And on a totally unrelated topic, can I just say how much I hate stupid people? Especially the ones I work with? Especially today????
I just feel I need to get that off my chest...
4 comments:
money is always a sensitive issue. sometimes what i do to friends who owe me money (though never tried on a boyfriend 'coz the situation never happened) is to jokingly say "you're in my bad books 'coz you owe me money".
I think it's totally legit to ask him for the money upfront. When we were first together, my husband and I would share costs like gas and meals, and we basically set it up so that we would take turns. Maybe you could try saying something like, "hey, since I paid for the BC last month, do you want to pay this month?" It should be fine. And besides, he wanted the committed relationship, so the BC costs are a part of the deal. :)
Also, I think it's good that his fam charged him for meals. (Well, ok, meals is taking it a little far. I assume he also paid partial rent?) Anyway, point is, he hasn't been completely sheltered, and he was responsible for his cost of living. Big plus. :)
I've never had a boyfriend offer to pay for part of my birth control! It makes complete sense!
Thanks for the feedback an advice.
Jo- It is a good idea to bring up stuff jokingly... the problem is when the other person doesn't get the joke...
Perpetua- He only pays for meals-- he doesn't pay rent or utilities.
Jan- I actually read about another woman who could never remember to take her BC pills and so she "put" her boyfriend on BC by making him responsible for reminding her to take it. I always though that would be a good plan too... (Um. Assuming that one is dating a responsible person!)
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