Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Note To Self:

Remove pictures of former crush from work computer.

Why? You may ask. Well, that would be because former crush is an IT guy at my office....and we're getting new computers. Yea. And it's 9pm, and I just came into the office to find him here and transfering info from old computers to new computers.

Ooops. Probably wouldn't do for him to know the extent of my (utterly benign!) stalking of him on facebook!

So, while I'm posting about him, I may as well say something about his dating. You see, while we only went out a few times, I certainly wanted to critique his dating--namely the following. Here's what I wish I could have said to him:
(Caveat- IT guy is a totally sweet and great guy, and we're on perfectly good terms and we only went out like 3 times. But his dating needs work.)

#1) When you're not interested in a girl....don't pay for dinner

#2) When you're not interested in a girl...don't ask her out again

#3) When you're not interested in a girl...don't insist on going out of your way to pick her up for what is very obviously a date

#4) When you're not interested in a girl...don't walk her to her door at the end of the night

#5) When you're at her door, and she leans in for the kiss....that is not the time to say "Actually, I'm just not that into you

Ouch. To be fair, I much prefer that to "I'll call you sometime" or a variation thereof. So, gotta give him props for that. BUT that whole "not into you" thing would have been a lot cooler to play off if it had come, oh, say, several days before.

But wait! you say! Perhaps he didn't know he hated your sorry ass until he went on the date with you and realized what a miserable excuse for a human being you are!

Fair enough, is what I say to that. After all, that's what dating is for. To weed out the boorish and uncouth and just plain "not for me" from the loves of our lives.

But. But.

I would have gotten the whole "not into you thing" if he had just stayed in the freakin' car when he dropped me off. That simple! That easy! No awkward moment!

So....to all you daters out there....keep that in mind!

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