Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Another Big Question

Soooo..... Um.....

I've been seriously thinking about asking letting Jedi move in with me. (I say letting only because he wanted to move in about 2 weeks after we met.)

There are some major downsides to this--

The Cons:

First-- (and most importantly)-- It FREAKS me out. (I guess that should be the end of the post right there, huh?) But, well, it doesn't freak me out for any really logical reasons-- it just freaks me out because I'm someone who wants space-- emotional and physical.

Second- Space. As in, I really don't have any. I live in a 600 sq ft apartment-- 1 bed/1 bath. Where would I put his stuff?! Basically, I think I would move in an extra dresser, and move my coats out of the hall closet, but poor guy really wouldn't be able to move any books or anything else in. (Not that he minds... or so he says.)

Third - Yes, we've only been going out for 3 months. This could end tomorrow. If I don't let him move in, this could end pretty painlessly (in terms of logistics). If I let him move in, this could get really messy.

The Pros

First-- Call me mercenary if you must, but if Jedi moved in his share of the rent/utilities would be about $500. (That's adjusted using the Suze Orman % formula, whereby expenses are shared based on the percentage of income each person brings in-- So, Jedi would actually be paying 42% of expenses, and I'd be paying 58%) That... would be super helpful! I might actually be able to save something!

Because, well, let's face it-- yes, my expenses haven't really gone UP-- I'd be using the same amount of heat/cable etc... even if he wasn't here. And we unofficially split groceries, taking turns paying. But. Well. On some level, I do feel like I'm subsidizing his life. Other than a car, he really has no expenses.

If I start charging him for rent though... well... I can't exactly be like, "You need to go HOME," when I need alone time, now can I?

Second- He's neat and tidy and does dishes and bathrooms and makes dinner. (Which is more than I do.) That's a total bonus. (I worry though that once the novelty of playing house wears off this will lose its appeal.

Third-- (and yes, most importantly)-- I enjoy having him around 95% of the time. I miss him when he's gone. Even when I like having my bed to myself so I can stretch out... I find myself kinda missing him.

(Oh! And 4th! Total bonus!-- When he stays over I get to work on time because we carpool, and he has to be at work 30 minutes before I do.)


So, what say you, internets? Where do you fall on the spectrum of yes or no?


Perpetua said...

Wow! Big step, lady!

So, in terms of cons, I totally freaked out before I moved in with my then-boyfriend now-husband. It didn't mean anything other than that you take commitment of this sort seriously. That's not a bad thing. We didn't move in together until after we were together for a year, but we talked about it about two months in (both of our leases were up).

The pros are pretty awesome. :)

Hypatia said...

:-) I talked it over with a few people (and my therapist!)... what I decided... coming soon... in the next post!