I'm a huge believer in signs. I'm a lapsed Baptist, and not quite religious, but at the same time I do believe there's a higher power up there.
Even as I feel like it's the height of human arrogance to think that God intervenes directly in individual lives, I also can't help thinking that God (or one of his/her agents) also gives us nudges in the right direction. I know, I know-- how do I reconcile these seemingly contradictory beliefs? I don't know, but I do.
And I do believe that there have been times in my life when I've been nudged in the right direction. When I follow the direction of those signs, things seem to unfold in my life in a pretty magical way, where things just fall into place. (Yes, I know, many people think these things could be random coincidences, wishful thinking, etc... But somehow, sometimes, things just feel RIGHT, and as much as I hate to sound like Dubya, you just know it's right in your gut.)
Now that I've prefaced that, let me share with you a little story that took place immediately after the previous exchange.
After Jedi gave me the red scarf, he said, "Hold on. I got you something else. Maybe you'll like this better."
I opened it up. It was the book Something Wonderful.
Yes, this is a trashy romance novel... but hey, I'm a smart bitch who loves trashy books. And this book? This author? Both TOPS in the genre.
I looked at Jedi in surprise.
He explained, "While you were sleeping I looked at the books on your bookshelf and noticed you had a lot of books by this author. I wrote down the names of the books and made sure I got you one that you didn't have. Do you like it?"
Dear reader, I loved it. Not just because it was an insanely thoughtful gesture-- because it certainly was that-- but because it was so much more than that, though Jedi had no way of knowing it. In fact, until writing this post, even I didn't know it.
You see, I did already own this book. However, I lost it somewhere along the way. This summer I was looking for it, but couldn't find it.
The reason this was so meaningful was because of this post... from which I'll quote (And I'm realizing I repeat myself an AWFUL lot! And make the same lame-o jokes again and again! Apologies!):
It may sound crazy, but for most things in my life I've just KNOWN... somehow, KNOWN in my gut (not to be all George Dubya about it...) when I'm going in the right direction.
I'm just waiting for Something Wonderful.* Whether that's with a job or with a partner, I believe that in the end I'll know it's the right one-- that I'm on the right path-- because it will feel so very right. (Yes, I know I'm single in large part due to my own issues, which I've talked about at length, but I also feel that somehow I'll just KNOW when I meet the right one. Call me silly, but every single member of my family... (other than my own parents)... has said that when they met their spouse they just "knew" when they first met them. There are several people in my family who got married on their first date-- no joke.)
A few days before Jedi gave me this book, I had asked the universe for a sign I was on the right path.
When I opened that book, I thought to myself, ok-- this seems like a sign, but it could just be coincidence.
When I looked at the date I wrote the previous post about waiting for "Something Wonderful," and even referencing that exact book, I was rather shocked to realize I wrote those words the DAY BEFORE I met Jedi.
Call it coincidence. Call it wishful thinking. Generally being a skeptic, I wouldn't normally disagree with you.
But for me? In my gut? It feels like a sign I'm on the right track.