Friday, December 11, 2009

Let's revisit this in 6 months...

I talked to Ramses a bit, as well as my therapist... They confirmed what I was already feeling (well, in my therapist's case, that's her job)... that there's no need to rush into officially "moving in" ... (and yes, everything in this relationship has been very condensed, which both freaks me out, yet doesn't make me uncomfortable. I don't know how both things can be true, but they are.)

HOWEVER... I do know that I need to have a "come to God" talk with Jedi regarding money... not only because it's bugging me, but because it's one of those issues in a relationship that can ruin an otherwise good thing. Just need to get it all out on the table and set some kind of payment schedule or something... (Like, whenever you get a paycheck (2x/month) you leave $100 on my counter... or something.)

I don't know--- I did up my budget so he can see how much I'm in the hole every month (-$500... ouch! Due mostly cause of school right now, but even when I'm not in school, I'll still be barely breaking even-- -$25/month, but I supplement with babysitting.) I kind of get the impression that he thinks I'm rich because on paper I make so much more than he does...

We live in a CRAZY expensive area though, and since he's never lived on his own (always with parents or in a dorm) I just don't think he has a clue.

Example to this: For one of his classes he's going to need internet access next term. I don't have internet at my house (I refuse to get it as I know I would only end up doing work stuff over the weekend, which would lead to more stress.) Jedi asked if he could get it installed at my place, and he would pay for it.

I said sure, and he's said, "Great, when do you think you can get it installed." I was like- "Hold on, buck-o. Dealing with utility companies is a PITA. YOU'RE getting it installed."

He responded with, "But I don't know how someone goes about getting Internet installed."

It's at moments like this when I'm reminded not only of HOW YOUNG HE IS... (which is one thing)... But also HOW SHELTERED HE IS.

I was living on my own (ok, my parents helped support me, but I was bringing home $1500/month teaching English too) as of the age of 18. I'd moved to a foreign country by myself, I was in the middle of nowhere, I set up utilities, I rented an apartment, etc. etc. Yes, I had some help, but I find it mind-boggling that at the age of 22 someone doesn't know how to call up the cable company to have them install high-speed.

I *was* going to make him do it (I swear), but given how I've seen he's impulsive on other purchases, I decided to do it, so that I could wait for a good deal. (Those fliers with promotions come every month or so- sometimes offering a free netbook, even!)

I will however, put the bill entirely in his name. The kid's got to grow up and start paying them some time...


jo said...

i think you're making the right decision. i was going to say that while the pros and cons are valid, the one all important con that having him move in with you is FREAKING you out is a big thing to pay attention to.

he does seem sheltered and the whole cable thing was weird 'coz i figured that even if you had no experience doing it yourself, you could always just call up the cable company and ask. so him expecting you to do it just seemed like he was lazy to even find out for himself. while you can help him along to be more streetwise or whatever, you also do need a proper talk with him bout it.

Hypatia said...

Thanks. I always thing going with you're gut (after weighing the logical pros and cons) is usually the right decision.