Tuesday, December 8, 2009

To tell, or not to tell? That is the question...

At what point should I disclose I have a blog to Jedi?

I don't know that I should disclose at all.

On the one hand, if I had a diary it would be none of his business. And that's essentially what this blog is-- sort of a dating diary.

On the other hand... it's public. This wouldn't be an issue if only anonymous people read this, but I know some people who know Jedi offline read this. And maybe he wouldn't be too thrilled about that, though I do think I write mostly innocuous things about him.

I also think that telling him would have the effect of ending the blog (or at least ending honest writing about HIM... which, since he's the only one I'm currently seeing, would have that same effect.)

I don't think he'd be bothered by the blog--not really. But I do think he would bug me until I gave him the URL, which would mean measuring what I say about him a bit more.

On the other other hand, depending on how long this goes, he could end up being hurt that I didn't tell him about it.

So. What say you, internets? To tell, or not to tell?


arf said...

I have an online journal that is mostly private that I haven't disclosed to my boyfriend, even though I think it would make him INSANE that I talk about myself online. I justify it by not talking about HIM, since it's my journal.

That won't work here though, unless you start dating someone else at the same time that you can post about... j/k

Perpetua said...

Hmm...that's a toughie. My selfish vote is: keep blogging! Because I don't know you in real life, so how will I know how it all turns out? :)

My husband doesn't know about my blog because I've chosen not to tell him. I started it after we were married, and it's my space. However, I don't say much about him there, and I think of everything I post in terms of how I would feel if he read it. The point is to never post anything that would embarrass him or violate trust. So in that sense, it doesn't feel like it's wrong, or a secret. And if he ever asked, I'd fess up.

I think that, since Jedi can be very OMG LET'S SPEND EVERY MINUTE TOGETHER NOW NOW NOW, you need some private space. Just because you're dating (or married, in my case) doesn't mean you need a Vulcan mind meld. :) I also think you've been very respectful of him and your issues together, so if you did tell him, it would probably be okay.

jo said...

i haven't disclosed this blog to my boyfriend and i don't intend to. i hope he never finds it 'coz if anyone i knew in real life read it, they'd probably know it was me.

so my suggestion to you is not to tell.

Hypatia said...

Well, since you all agree with me (isn't that convenient!) I'll totally keep on keeping it a secret.

Well, I guess if he directly asked me, "Hey, do you have a secret dating blog in which you tell total strangers about what's going on in my life?" I would fess up. 'Till then though....


(Hmmm... This does make me wonder if I should as HIM if he has a secret blog, but I guess I can't do that without arousing suspicion, can I??)