Thursday, October 16, 2008
Why we (by which I mean *I*) secretly love jerks...
The Don Draper Effect
To me this is the crux of the argument..."a person who has voluntarily put himself second... is, ironically, not erotic..."
This may be why I'm having trouble turning up the heat with Atlas.... We had a great conversation the other night-- he's certainly a feminist, doesn't believe in traditional gender roles, thinks it's A-ok if dads are stay-at-home parents... etc, etc...
Which is all I could ever ask for, right? It's certainly what I say I want... Is it perhaps not? I mean, logically I know that it is what I want, but at the same time I can't help wanting someone with a bit more edge.
Ro (& well, a multitude of others, but she said it first), says I need a guy like Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew-- that I need a guy who will push back, who will challenge me, who will push me to be better than I am. (But will still let me win at least 50% of the time....;-)
While being compared to a shrew is never a good image (though Ro insists she meant it in the nicest way possible,) I have to admit I recognize a grain of truth in what she says.
I want Don Draper. I want Petruchio. I want James Bond (the Casino Royale version.) In Theory
In the day to day living of things? I know those types of people would be pretty unbearable.
So... Could I get a reasonable mix? Say 80% nice guy, 20% jerk?
Thanks, Universe. That would be awesome!
You could certainly argue that in painting Don Draper as so complex, so tortured, so stealth-enlightened, so handsome, the Mad Men writers are doing women and men a disservice. They've endowed a definition of pre-feminist masculinity — a composite of all traditional manly virtues — with hints of modernity that make him appealing to women who can fancy he would have swept them off their feet while secretly supporting their dreams of equality. There's a sense on the show that his wife can't keep his interest purely because she's so docile and subservient; we could, we think. Who can compete with that?