Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Depression

I haven't been REALLY depressed since I met Jedi. That means... since September basically.

That's probably some kind of record for me.

Yes, I've had moments of being sad, and angry, and so on...

But, "I can't get out of my bed in the morning, and life has no meaning, and I want to chuck it all, and the bottom of the ravine is looking mighty good right about now..." type of depression? Not really.

And it's something that I would get regularly about once a month or every couple of months.

I've been working on it with a therapist and it's helped...

And while I haven't had this type of depression while I've been with Jedi, I'm under no illusions that Jedi is the CAUSE of keeping my depression at bay-- Rather, he'd be a SYMPTOM of it.

But, it's coming back. I can feel it-- the general lethargy, the anxiety, a sense of malaise, a lack of meaning to my life and anything I do...

And during this time I just really, really, really want to be alone. Even if being with others would probably be healthier. All I want is to sleep and escape in books and maybe (just maybe) come out next summer.)

2 comments:

Perpetua said...

Can I do something lame and offer internet hugs? (())

Hypatia said...

Thanks... It does help, actually.