I think I'm in a good place right now. I'm enjoying having a crush without obsessing over it the way I did a few weeks ago.
I had lunch with my friend Nell today. She is also friends with Muckraker (She didn't know about my crush... during most of our conversation over lunch...), and she had some interesting perspectives on him. In part she agreed with NPapaya, and in part she agreed with me (who has rose colored glasses on.)
Nell pointed out Muckraker's mature/yet immature dual nature. He seems to want to relive his lost, non-misspent, youth. (Apparently he was a nerd-- which, frankly he kinda still is.... ) So he's hanging out in frat basements... which-- um EW! And hanging with a fratty, douchey crowd.
But both she and I have trouble reconciling that with the guy who I have really intense conversations with... And she's had great conversations (Though, non-flirty ones) with him too, and she finds him to be brilliant. She also pointed out that she feels like he has some sort of trauma in his past that is keeping him from moving forward-- (Some of his issues I know about already having read some of his works.)
Funnily enough she was also like-- "Wait, you mean you guys *aren't* dating? Everyone in our group (of mutual master's program friends) assumed you were already dating!"
And I was like-- Uh, no! "He hasn't contacted me or asked me out or anything!" and she was responded, "What the hell is his problem? Because it certainly seemed like you were already a couple the last few times I saw you!"
To which I was like-- "Uh, THANK YOU! Exactly! WTF is wrong with him?"
And she was like--- "It's mature immaturity..." And she was said, "I really like him, I think he's a great guy, and you should give him a chance-- you should definitely date him-- but yeah, he does have an immature streak, so don't wait around for him either."
And I'm totally not waiting around-- I've been out with Science guy, and there are a couple other irons in the fire online.
So, that's where things stand now. But it made me feel good to know I hadn't imagined his interest! I mean, she said even one of Muckraker's (pretty close) guy friends thought Muckraker and I were dating... so, there you go! Not all in my head!
Now all the idiot needs to do is actually ASK me out!!! Or be in some kind of contact!
Men! Are they all this idiotic?