Friday, December 12, 2008


Yes, I over think things. Duh. I shouldn't, I know.

One of the ways in which I over think things is that when I like someone I imbue any emails/texts etc. sent with all sorts of mille-feuille levels of meaning. As if he's going to somehow divine what I really mean when I say, "I had fun last night.: (Secret meaning? Take me now, I'm yours.)

So I realized today that there are 3 other guys I'm currently corresponding with who are straight and single. I'm corresponding with them as friends, really have no interest in them, and they're about the same level of acquaintance friends that Muckraker is.

Do I double, triple and quadruple think what I'm emailing to these guys? No, no I don't. Do I think they're secretly reading "I want you" messages in my mundane emails? No.

So why do I do this with Muckraker then? It's silly. I know, I've got to stop. I am stopping.

I saw something online this evening that made me think of Muckraker. Were he a "normal" friend (one in whom I don't have an interest,) I wouldn't think twice about sending the link to him. So why was I hesitating?

Guess what. I sent the link. Whoooooo! Shocking, I know. (Shrug).

Oh well. If that makes or breaks this thing, there wasn't much there anyway, right?

And if I can't treat someone I like as my friend, what's the point? Right?

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