I think we have already established that I am a crazy person. And that, as Npapaya points out repeatedly, I don't actually want to be dating.
Mr.2Young has spent the night at my place for the last three nights... (yanno... because we can't spend the night at his place seeing as he LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. Oy Vey.) It's been good. I've had lots-o-fun. He makes me feel really good about myself. Things I perceive as flaws about my body, he not only doesn't seem to mind them, he seems to enjoy them. (Weirdo.)
And he's kind, and attentive, and ... and... and... he has repeatedly said he wants more than a casual fling. In fact he's all, "Come to my house for dinner and meet the parents," "Come to this banquet as my date..."
Normally I would be all for this. In fact, I'd be super excited. And yet... and yet... I'm not. Because I don't see this going anywhere given where we are in life.
This is super odd for me (as my friends know, I'm a little nutso. After one date with a guy I'm usually envisioning picket fences and 10 year anniversaries. I am, however, smart enough not to actually MENTION these thoughts to anyone I'm seeing.)
And yet, when he asked me to do these things-- when he asked what we were to each other... Was he the "B" word? I think I actually, literally, recoiled in horror. (For the record, we settled on, "someone I'm seeing.")
No labels, no labels, I said. Let's just take this one day at a time... (because thinking further than that FREAKS ME OUT.)
He's very kind and patient... but my instinct at the moment is to just call the whole thing off.
I'm fighting that instinct, but it's stressing me out to fight it. I know this is totally about my own issues and not actually about HIM, so I'm trying not to do anything hasty. Right now though I'm kinda feeling like if I don't see him again for a month or so that would be just about perfect.
(Side note: I also learned a little bit about some of the other women he's dated. I don't think I have to worry about his mother disapproving of me anymore... At this point she probably thinks I'm heaven sent, compared to some of the others... one of whom was a 35 year old he dated when he was 19. Yes, I am weirded out by this...)